1985-1988 TSI: GrandAd: The System/36 Conversion

TSI’s first big conversion. Continue reading

A fairly detailed description of the design of the GrandAd System can be found here. More information about IBM’s System/36 (S/36) is posted here.

The purchase of the GrandAd software system in early 1985 by Keiler Advertising (KA) was definitely a milestone for TSI. The agency was one of the two largest in the Hartford area, and its founder and president, Dick Keiler1, was highly respected in the local advertising community.

Although I had recommended to Sandy Procko3, KA’s finance manager and our liaison on the installation, that they buy two Datamasters and a hard drive, IBM had talked her into ordering the recently announced S/36 model 5362. They made the right decision.2 The Datamaster was on its way out, and the S/36 gave them better peripherals and room for growth. It also had many more subtle advantages.

Her decision was a great break for us. We would have needed to convert the system anyway. The sooner that we got started on it the better.

The only problem was that no one at TSI had ever worked on a System/36. We knew that the system had a BASIC interpreter, but we were uncertain about the compatibility of the two versions. IBM provided KA with a huge stack of documentation. I read the BASIC manual thoroughly and was relieved to find that it was very similar to what we were accustomed to. I read enough of the other manuals to get an idea about how to set up their system.

I also had to write the file definitions for each file. We had versions of these created in the Datamaster’s word processing program, but on the S/36 it was important that they be stored as Data Definition Specifications (DDS). The final preliminary step was to write a procedure for creating all of the empty data files from the DDS.

IBM’s office had a 5360, the “washer-dryer” model.

IBM allowed us to work on the S/36 in its downtown Hartford office before KA’s system was delivered. I saved our programs onto 8″ disks. I created a library for them on IBM’s 5360. Then I restored them as text files. I edited them to conform with the S/36 syntax and changed the names of all of the files to use the dot format that SSP required. I then tried to load them in the interpreter. If any lines were rejected, I fixed them and kept trying until the program loaded. Then I went on to the next program, of which there were several hundred.

When I was done with the programs and procedures, I saved the library onto diskettes, brought the diskettes to KA, and restored them. Then I executed the procedures to create all of the files. It never occurred to us that there might some day be a way of populating the data files from files that they had stored on their PC’s. I think that it was possible to save the specs table, which was a fixed-record-length file.

For nearly all of its forty-two years of its existence KA was located in a large house in Farmington, CT. It is portrayed in the photo at the right. During the period in which I was regularly vising the agency, the trees and the bushes were much smaller, and they were surrounded by wood chips. Sandy called Dick “the mulch king” of Farmington.

From the beginning, or shortly thereafter, Sandy was assisted by a younger woman named Shelly. I don’t remember her last name

Getting the code to work on the S/36 caused us fewer problems than one might imagine. By this time we understood how IBM thought about things. The fact that all of our programs followed strict procedures also made it easier to adjust to the differences. I don’t remember encountering any problems that necessitated consulting IBM or anyone else.

Here are my most vivid recollections of the installation.

KA’s 5224 printer was much faster than anything available on a Datamaster.
  • KA not only had a kitchen. It had a chef who prepared meals for clients and prospects and a dining room as well. I was never invited to one of these occasions.
  • The parking lot at KA, which was in the back of the house, had a few narrow grass covered areas with skinny trees in them. I parked my Celica to the left of one of them once. When I exited I turned the wheel too soon. The mirror on the right side of the car got caught on the tree and broke off. Thenceforward there was no mirror on the Celica’s right side. Changing lanes to the right required extreme caution.
  • The first few monthly closings at KA were, as always, difficult. Query/36 sometimes helped the reconciliation process. Nevertheless, on one occasion we had a discrepancy of ten cents in the accounts payable account. Sandy told me not to worry about it, but we had the tools to find it, and so I persisted. I eventually discovered that no vendor was off by a dime. Instead, three invoices were off; all three had discrepancies of more than $100, but they almost perfectly balanced one another.
  • Sandy taught me that if a discrepancy was divisible by nine, it was probably a transposition error.
  • On one occasion guys from the Australian national swimming team were in the office for some reason. Sandy and most of the other female staff members thought that they were very hot.
  • Sandy liked the system’s reports a lot. I am pretty sure that she asked for a couple of revisions, but I do not remember the details. I do remember that, despite the fact that we spent a lot of time making sure that the results of the cost accounting system agreed with the cost accounting system, she never showed any client profitability reports to Dick. She said that that would open a can of worms.
  • I went to KA once during the period in which I was weak from cat scratch fever (as described here). It happened to be on the day that KA was moving its accounting department from the ground floor to the second floor. I carried a printer or something, but the effort totally exhausted me.
  • At some point in 1988, I think, Sandy fell out of Dick’s favor. She was reassigned to take charge of the scheduling of production jobs, a clear demotion. I never learned why all of this happened.
  • Dick hired a woman with experience from a New York agency to replace Sandy. I tried to explain to her why the system’s method of calculating work in process (WIP) was superior to the method advocated by the AAAA, but I don’t think that she bought it.
  • The last time that I went to KA Shelly was in charge of the finance department, and the New Yorker was gone. On that occasion Michael Symolon, our salesman at the time, accompanied me. Evidently he had gone on a date with Shelly once and was embarrassed about it. He stayed in the background. That was the only time that I ever remember him being shy.

When the system had been working successfully for a few months, Dick Keiler arranged to be interviewed by AdWeek New England about our system. It was a very nice article that heaped praise upon our system. It started on the front page, and it continued for several paragraphs in the middle. I had only one minor quibble: THEY NEVER MENTIONED THE NAME OF THE SOFTWARE OR THE COMPANY THAT DEVELOPED IT!!!

TSI had, for the first and only time in its existence purchased an ad. It appeared somewhat close to the article’s continuation page. However the ad was not precisely the same size as the hole that the magazine needed to fill. The way that they floated it in made it look really unprofessional.

I was quite upset about this. I wrote a letter to the editor complaining about both of these things. He called me. He did not apologize. He said that he did not think that it would have been proper to identify TSI. I reminded him that the article clearly identified the hardware vendor as IBM. What was the difference? He repeated that it just did not seem proper. He also thought that our ad looked fine. I hung up on him.

I made lemonade out of this by writing to all the prospects in the northeast about the article, providing “what AdWeek neglected to mention.” It generated a few inquiries.


1. Dick Keiler founded the agency in 1972. He started his retirement process in 1999 and left the company five years later. In 2021 he lives in Tucson Arizona. The agency went out of business in 2015. The last few years are described here.

2. I am pretty sure that in 2021 Sandy Procko resides in Westbrook, CT.

3. I was slow to come to the realization that when trying to sell systems that generated no revenue for the purchaser, it was best to strike when the iron was hot. One of our clients later told me “Christmas only comes once.” The person recommending the purchase always dreaded making a mistake. He/she most feared the prospect of telling the boss a little later that the company needed to purchase more hardware. I always thought that IBM proposed systems that were bigger and more experience than necessary, but they were more experienced at this process than I was.

4. The S/36 operating system, called SSP, used the term “procedure” for a list of commands that were to be executed sequentially. In addition, BASIC used the same term for a sequential list of BASIC commands that could be executed inside the interpreter. On the Datamaster the user was always in the interpreter, and so there was no confusion.

1983-1988 The IBM System/36

A true multi-user system. Continue reading

A 5360. The box on the top left is the diskette magazine drive.

IBM’s introduction of the System/36 (S/36) in May of 1983 was not a monumental event for TSI. From our perspective the new system seemed more like a marginal upgrade of the System/34, which had always been much too pricey for anyone who would talk to us. The new system had only one basic model, the 5360. The starting price for one of these was still $140,000. It was also gigantic and had special electrical requirements. It was clearly designed for a small data processing department, not a small business without one.

The biggest advantage of the System/36 over any system that we had worked with was that it supported a fairly large number of terminals and printers. This was because it could run a number of jobs at the same time. It also supported batch processing, which meant that time-consuming jobs need not tie up any workstations.

We appreciated these benefits. In fact, we drooled over them. However, no prospective customer of ours ever had a six-figure budget for hardware.

The 5250 screen showed one color, green.

The peripherals were also rather expensive. IBM in those days ignored standards used in the rest of the industry. It set its own standards, and they were all proprietary. So, cheaper hardware from other vendors would not work with IBM systems.

Although the price went down through the years, a 5250 terminal cost around $2,000 when the 5360 was introduced. The cheapest printers, which used dot-matrix technology, were in the $5,000 range.

Both ends of twinax cables were male. A device with two female ends was needed to connect two together

The cabling was also not cheap. The system used twinaxial cables for direct attachment of these devices. Most competing systems used serial or parallel connections. Twinax was decidedly better, but it was also more expensive.

The local devices were connected in a serial fashion to a controller. Up to seven devices could be connected on one twinax line. Each device had two female twinax connections on the back, either in one T-shaped unit or with two short cables. One was called the “gozinda”; the other was the “gozouta”.

The T-shaped connector.

So, if the S/36 had four devices named A, B, C, and D. A would be connected to the controller by a twinax cable, B would be attached to A by a twinax cable, C would be attached to B, and D would be attached to C.

A switch on device A, B, and C needed to be set to allow pass-through to the next device on the line. On device D that switch needed to be set to denote that it was the last device on the line.

For device D to communicate with the S/36, all of the connections must be functional, and all of the switches set correctly. It reminded me of Christmas tree lights in the old days.

The S/36 also came with a serial port. Since a modem could be attached to this device, it would be possible for support people at IBM or the software vendor (or anyone else, for that matter) to sign on from a remote location. This was, of course, our dream; it would make support so much easier. The announcement brought it a little closer to reality.

The 8809 tape drive.

The hard drive capacity varied from 30 MB to 400 MB. In the twenty-first century, of course, those quantities would only hold a handful of photos. However, to most software vendors in the eighties this meant that total storage was no longer a big concern. However, the default backup device was a magazine that held only ten 8″ diskettes. Each diskette had a capacity of only 1MB each. This was a rather obvious limitation on the practical storage.

It was possible to attach an 8809 1/2″ reel-to-reel tape unit to address this. I could not find a price for these monsters. It may well have been the case that if you had to ask the price, you could not afford it.

The System/36 had two processors. The main processor (MSP) executed the code; the control processor (CSP) managed the work for the main processor. The CSP was four times as fast as the MSP, and they worked perfectly in tandem. The S/36 could perform an amazing amount of work at very fast speeds with embarrassingly puny processors. It was also extremely reliable.

Some actions, such as IPL1 and backing up files, needed to be initiated from the system console. The system console on the 5360 was built in to the top of the box. Your system operator needed a wheelchair? Life was rough all over.

I missed out on this fun stuff.

The System/36 supported five programming languages: RPG II2, COBOL, FORTRAN, BASIC, and Assembler. RPG II, a simplistic column-based language, was the most popular. Wikipedia says that this was because it was the least expensive3. The BASIC language was similar to the one used on the Datamaster. I never heard of anyone who programmed in FORTRAN or Assembler on a S/36.

BASIC programs could not be compiled. Therefore, a copy of the BASIC interpreter needed to be loaded into memory for each program that was running. Nevertheless, because the CSP was so efficient, TSI’s benchmarks showed that there was no noticeable difference in the speed of interpreted BASIC programs and compiled RPG II programs performing the same tasks. So, we never considered converting our program to anything besides S/36 BASIC.

IBM also positioned the System/36 with its DisplayWrite/36 software as a word processing server. We found it to be inferior to the Datamaster product in most ways.


The file structure of the S/36 was somewhat different from the Datamaster’s. Programs and other executable items such as BASIC procedures and system procedures were stored in “libraries”. Libraries were somewhat like directories or folders on a PC. However, there was no such thing as a sub-library.

No directory trees on the S/36.

Data files needed to have unique names. They did not reside in libraries. In order to identify which files belonged to which application, the names were preceded by a short identifier and a period. In GrandAd all the media files started with “M.”, and the other files started with “T.”.

The S/36 did not have a relational database4. However, the fields in each file were defined in the system using field names, positions, and length/type designations. These data definition specifications were called DDS. Programs could access files using the same ISAM techniques with which we were already familiar. However, IBM also offered a product named Query/36 that allowed someone who know how the files were named and structured to write queries in a manner that was similar to SQL. These queries could then be saved and executed on demand.

Query/36 was a valuable debugging tool. TSI required all of our clients to buy it.


IBM announced the 5362 in 1984. It was much smaller than the 5360—only about as large as a two-drawer file cabinets. It also had no special electricity requirements. It used the same operating system as the 5360, which was called SSP. It came with one diskette drive and up to 120MB of hard drives. A QIC (1/4″ cartridge) external tape drive was available. A 5250-type terminal plugged into the first twinax spot served as the system console. Fewer devices could be attached, but none of our clients ever reached the limit. Best of all, the starting price was only $20,000, about the same as two Datamasters and a hard drive.

Many advertising agencies in the northeast could afford this level of investment. It took some time for TSI to convert the ad agency programs. I remember spending many days at IBM’s office in Hartford working on this. After tat we needed to change the focus of our marketing efforts to larger ad agencies. At this point IBM had no system to offer to the many whose needs would be satisfied with one Datamaster with diskette drives.

We were happy with this announcement, but it was a disappointment that IBM had totally abandoned the market that had produced the majority of TSI’s sales.


The 5364 (or System/36 PC), which was announced in June of 1985, was IBM’s belated attempt to recapture that market. The starting price of $5,995 was quite attractive. For some reason the system console had to be an IBM PC, XT, or AT with a special card inside. The S/36 part was the same size and shape as an AT. It contained a 5 1/4″ diskette drive that was compatible with neither the attached PC nor any previous model of the S/36. Compatibility was not a high priority for IBM.

This is what the system console looked like with the PC on top of the 5364. Manute Bol found it very convenient.

This bizarre arrangement was very difficult to explain to a prospect. Why would a super-reliable S/36 be coupled to the least reliable hardware ever to wear the IBM logo? It did guarantee that at least one IBM PC was installed at each location, I guess. However, most installations probably did what we did—attach the oldest, slowest machine available as the system console, and then use it only when necessary.

The 5364 had two severe limitations. In the first place, only four devices (counting the system console and the printer) could be attached. So, the S/36 customer could really only attach two more displays or one display and a printer. Still, that would suffice at most small ad agencies and at TSI. We immediately ordered one.

The other limitation was, in some ways, worse. The 5364 came with only 256K of RAM. Each session could use up to 64K. However, batch jobs counted as sessions. If one person started some lengthy reports or other process, the system could possibly reach the point where jobs needed to be swapped between memory and disk. This could severely impair the system’s performance.

The announcement of the 5364 created a good deal of business for a company named Black Box. They sold a box with slots for one 8″ and one 5 1/4″ diskette and software to make image copies from one to another. We bought one, and I used it a lot.


This is a 5363 with both a diskette drive and a QIC tape drive.

In 1987 IBM finally fixed all of the problems, at least the ones that most concerned us. The 5363 was a reasonably priced machine that was suitable for almost any small business. If it had been announced two years earlier instead of the 5364, we could have sold a lot of them.

I could not find anything either on the Internet or in our basement that listed the price of one. I don’t remember that anyone balked at the cost. I also could not discover how much memory it had, but I remember distinctly that it was plenty. It could handle at least seven devices, too, and you could get one with a built-in QIC tape drive.

We enthusiastically ordered one for TSI’s office and tried to get our Datamaster customers excited about it.


By the middle of the eighties most office workers had some kind of personal computer on their desks. They did not want someone to install a terminal next to it as well. But how could they gain access to the S/36 without a terminal? There were no networks worth mentioning in the eighties, and there was nothing like USB. The only way to reach the server was through a twinax line, and IBM did not share its knowledge of how the display and printer connections worked. IBM considered anything that it produced was proprietary.

IBM and many third party companies brought 5250 terminal-emulation packages to market. The idea was to be able transform the PC into a terminal on demand and then change it back. Although the other vendors had to reverse-engineer the 5250 interface, they still were able to produce competitive products that were cheaper and had more features than what IBM offered. They generally consisted of a three pieces:

  1. A hardware card that fit into an expansion slot on the motherboard of the PC. That’s right. You had to take the cover off of the machine and add a card that had the brains needed to make the PC act like a 5250 card. You might also need to physically flip switches on the care to configure it. Then you had put the PC back together again. What could possibly go wrong?
  2. A dongle (sometimes lovingly referred to as a “pigtail”) that screwed into the interface on the part of the card that stuck out the back of the PC. It provided a gozinda and a gozouta for the twinax cable(s).
  3. Software to run on the PC.

When they first appeared, the cost of these packages was well over $1,000, nearly as much or more than a PC or terminal. However, the emulators had one very substantial advantage. The inexpensive printer attached to the PC could also be configured as a S/36 printer. This not only saved money and office space; it was also much more convenient.

For a few years the companies selling these packages did a land-office business.


1. IPL stands for Initial Program Load. It just means the starting process for the system. IBM had three-letter abbreviations of everything, including a three-letter abbreviations (TLA).

2. RPG is short for Report Program Generator. I could never understand why anyone used it.

3. IBM required separate licenses for each programming language that was used.

4. Two IBMers, Donald D. Chamberlin and Raymond F. Boyce, codified the Structured Query Language (SQL) used in relational databases in the seventies. IBM rejected it because the Indexed-Sequential ISAM structure that it used in its computers had much better performance. About three decades later the company changed its mind.

1983-1985 TSI: GrandAd: The Datamaster Clients

A good fit for several agencies. Continue reading

IBM’s Datamaster was widely disparaged in the technical press. PC’s and Macs were the rage. The reasons for this evaluation were persuasive, if a little superficial.

  • A Datamaster cost a lot more than a PC.
  • The Datamaster’s programs only ran on Datamasters. Many hardware vendors were offering PC’s that were “IBM compatible”.
  • The Datamaster could in no way run PC programs.
  • The Datamaster’s peripherals—displays, printers, keyboards, and hard drive—were very limited.
  • The Datamaster’s specs were inferior. The processor looked very slow.

Nevertheless, the Datamaster was a very good computer for TSI. It was extremely easy to program, and it was very good at the two tasks for which it was designed—data processing and word processing. It was also quite reliable. PC’s crashed all the time. Some of our clients used their Datamaster’s for years without ever making a service call to IBM. Those who did were uniformly satisfied with the attention that they received.

For the ad agency application there was one other overriding advantage. Up to four Datamasters could use the same hard drive. This allowed the media department and the accounting department to have access to the same data. In the early eighties personal computers were totally personal. Reliable networks were many years away.

Yes, the Datamaster was horrible at other tasks such as spreadsheet, and it had absolutely no capacity for graphics. However, most of the people who owned and ran small businesses in the early eighties were interested in addressing business problems. They did not care much about system specs, and the fact that IBM sold and supported the system was of paramount importance to them.


I am almost positive that our third ad agency client was Communication & Design (C&D)1 in Latham, NY, just north of Albany. The principals were Fran (a guy) and Theresa Lipari2. The agency purchased two Datamasters and a hard drive. I am pretty sure that by this time TSI was in IBM’s Business Partner program as a Value-added Remarketer (VAR), and C&D bought the hardware through us. We only needed to make minor adjustments to the software system that we installed at Potter Hazlehurst, Inc. (PHI).

It was a long drive, but unless there was snow on the highway, it was never stressful. Best of all, the sun was never in my eyes.

Nevertheless, I made the drive to Albany quite a few times. There was no avoiding personal involvement at several stages in these installations. The transition from manual ledgers to computerized accounting systems was never trivial. The first few monthly closing processes never went completely smoothly.

For several years I worked very closely with the woman most involved with C&D’s system. She was definitely the bookkeeper. She might have also been the office manager. I found her to be intelligent and very easy to work with. I am therefore embarrassed that I cannot remember her name. I recall clearly, however, that she was a big fan of the New York Giants football team. She had even bought vanity license plates for her car that said “NYGIANTS”.

When she left the agency, she was replaced by a woman who was as tall as I was. I don’t remember her name either, but I think that it was French, maybe Bissonet.

I also dealt with the media director when they implemented the media system. I don’t remember her name either, but she was, I am pretty sure, also a principal in the business. She explained to me about inserts3—the advertising pieces that were stuffed into the middle of a newspaper, usually on Sundays and Thursdays. From a database perspective they had pages like direct mail pieces but schedules (lists of newspapers and dates) like newspaper ads. Since we were already using the same set of files for direct mail and newspaper ads, it was not too difficult to set up ad types for inserts.

I remember meeting with Fran after the whole system had been in place for a while. He told me that the media director had started her own agency, and she had taken some of his best clients with her. I never encountered any business that was as “dog-eat-dog” as the ad agency business.

I generally drove up to C&D early in the morning and back at night. I sometimes stopped for supper at a restaurant in East Greenbush. I generally listened to WAMC, the powerful NPR station in Albany. Once I heard—for the first time—the entire recording of The Phantom of the Opera. On another occasion I listened to Lt. Col. Oliver North defending his actions in the Iran-Contra hearing.

A couple of times I stayed overnight. A Howard Johnson’s hotel was right across the street.


Perhaps our easiest installation ever was at The Edward Owen Co. in Canton, CT. The owner was Ken Owen, who was a few years younger than I was. We had (and still have) similar interests. He majored in the classics at Harvard, which prepared him well both to teach Latin and/or Greek somewhere or to take over the family business after he graduated. He chose the road more taken.

The company was named after Ken’s grandfather, who had built the business up to be one of the most successful in the Hartford area. Ken’s father had apparently undone most of that. When we worked with the company Ken had only a part-time assistant and a resident artist who was not on the payroll. His father, who taught Latin at Avon Old Farms school, stopped by occasionally.

It was an easy installation because Ken was the ideal client. He understood and could explain exactly what he wanted. Furthermore, no one else had their fingers in the pie.

Ken and I initiated a lifelong habit of greeting each other on Exelauno Day4 (March 4). Sue and I also went to visit him, his wife Patti, and their two sons a few times. He drove to our house for one of our Murder Mystery parties, too.

This requirement alone would leave me out.

Ken was a serious runner. The advertising agencies in New England sponsored a mile run for CEO’s every year. He easily won whenever he entered. I often asked him for advice about running, although what I did he would probably call strolling. I was never close to being in his league.

I don’t remember the name of the artist who worked there, but I vividly recall the nice drawing that he executed for us. It showed three people in choir robes singing from three different hymnbooks labeled “accounting hymns”, “media hymns”, and “production hymns”.

We also asked Ken to help us with the one and only advertisement that we ran. It appeared in one issue of AdWeek New England. That experience is described here.

We created one new module for Yellow Pages advertising. The unique thing about Yellow Page advertising was that the agency only ordered it once. It then ran year after year until someone canceled or revised the ad. Ken’s father said that it was the best kind of advertising. All you had to do was open the envelope every year and endorse the check. Unfortunately, none of our other clients ever had a used for this module.

Ken’s business near Route 44 was next to a strip mall that contained a Marshall’s. We did not have stores like that east of the river. I often popped in there to see if they had anything cheap in my size.

Ken’s company is still in business. He moved the company to Sheffield, MA, which is south of Great Barrington. He also changed the focus of his efforts to, of all things, custom programming. The company’s web page is here.


As you can probably guess, Group 4 Design, which had offices on Route 10 in Avon, CT, was not a full-service advertising agency. They did not place any ads, and, in order to avoid charging sales tax, they were careful not to deliver anything tangible to their clients.

In other ways, however, they were like an ad agency. They billed the time spent by employees, and they could use the job costing and accounting functions designed for ad agencies. So, we treated them as an advertising agency without a media department, an approach that seemed to work well.

This was Group 4’s headquarters. Google says it was permanently closed, but Frank still lists himself as president..

I am not sure who the other three members of the “Group” were, but when we worked with them the firm was definitely run by Frank von Holhausen5. Once the system was up and running he seemed satisfied with it. The only thing that I can remember about him is that he was in a dispute with the state because his company had not been charging its clients tax on Group 4’s services. At the time the state had a tax on services6 and the only services exempted from the tax were legal and accounting. Frank complained, “They want to tax my brain!”

I worked almost exclusively with Joan Healey, the bookkeeper. She had difficulty with the first few monthly closings, but after she understood the process, Group 4 was a good reference account for TSI.


Adams, Rickard & Mason (ARM), an ad agency in Glastonbury, CT, used the GrandAd system until it merged with another agency in 1988. I never met any of the principals. In the negotiations and the initial installation we dealt with the head of finance for the agency. His name was Dave Garaventa7.

We met at the house in Rockville. Debbie Priola and Denise Bessette were in the office working. Sue and David and I sat around a table in the office. We were going over some reports that he wanted included in the system. Four of the five people in the room were smoking. After about an hour of this I felt horrible. I excused myself and walked outside to get some air.

At the time of the installation ARM was in the process of moving into offices that someone at the agency had designed specifically for them. Visually, they were quite striking. However, half of the building was on stilts. the area beneath it was used for parking, However, in the winter that half of the building was always cold because it was surrounded by cold air on all sides.

All of the employees were forced asked to take a pencil-and-paper multiple-choice test to determine whether they were “left-brained” or “right-brained”. The results were interpreted as a multi-colored strip that was displayed beneath names on offices and desks. I am not sure why the agency did this. I researched hemispheric specialization pretty thoroughly in college. This was bogus.

Our software maintenance contract with ARM was the same one that we had with every other client. We offered free telephone support during business hours, which were clearly explicated in the contract.

My fingertips were on the keyboard, not each other.

Weekends were sacred to me. I had virtually no time available during the week to program. I spent those days driving around to clients and prospects, training Denise, setting up her work, and writing proposals and documentation. On Saturdays and Sundays I worked on the custom programming that I had promised our clients from before dawn until I got very sleepy in the evening.

On one Sunday morning the phone rang. It was Dot Kurachik (or something like that), the bookkeeper at ARM. I worked with her for almost an hour and solved her problem. I sent her a bill for $75, our minimum charge at the time. She refused to pay. I talked with her boss, and he overruled her.


Cronin and Company of Glastonbury, CT, might be TSI’s only Datamaster client that is still functioning as an ad agency in 2021. Our primary contact was Mike Wheeler, who was, I think, the head of finance. He seemed very level-headed. We did only a little custom work for them.

Cronin did not have this door when I spent time there.

The main computer operator’s name was Jeannine Bradley8. After using the GrandAd system for several years, Cronin was persuaded to convert to a different software system. We did not get an opportunity to bid on this. We would have proposed a System/36 or an AS/400.

Jeannine called our office about something (I don’t remember what), and she confided to me that they now thought that they had made a mistake when they bought the new system.

I don’t recall any strange or funny stories about this account. The employees always seemed straightforward and competent to me.


The strangest of all of our installations was at Donahue, Inc., an ad agency in Hartford. We did not sell them a Datamaster. They somehow obtained one that had been purchased by Harland-Tine back in the early eighties. The installation at Donahue began in the first months of 1988. It was TSI’s last Datamaster installation.

You could say that Donahue Inc. was “old school”.

Donahue’s building did not look like it housed an ad agency or any other business. It looked like an old school, which is close to what it was originally used for. It was the custom-built home of the Cathedral Lyceum9. That designation was clearly etched above the front door.

I don’t remember ever talking to a principal there about what they hoped to accomplish with their system. Their goals, which were explained to me by a woman whom I hardly saw again, were relatively modest. They just wanted to automate their billing and accounting.

The only person whom I dealt with after that was the bookkeeper, a young inexperienced guy. He knew nothing about computers and very little about either bookkeeping or advertising. He and the Datamaster and the printer shared office space with the agency’s kitchen, which was on the ground floor of the building. The first few monthly closings were a nightmare.

Did I mention that there was no heat in the kitchen? The two of us sat there wearing overcoats and stocking caps. The person not operating the Datamaster wore gloves. People wandered in, got a cup of coffee, and quickly retreated to the area of the building that was heated.

The young man who did their books and operated their Datamaster confided to me that his goal in life was to become a real estate agent for Century 21. He really thought that their trademark blazers were cool.


Darby O’Brien.

Darby O’Brien Advertising (DOB), a full-service ad agency in downtown Springfield, MA, was not actually a Datamaster client, but I included them is this blog because they used the version of the software designed for the Datamaster. Darby10 insisted on using a Wang PC sold by one of his clients, a store that sold and repaired computers. We grumbled about this plan, but supporting their system this way turned out not to be too difficult for us.

A Wang PC.

They needed to purchase a license to use Work Station Basic11, a DOS-based product that supported all of the syntax used by the Datamaster’s version of BASIC. We also charged them for converting our code to a format that the Wang12 PC could use, but that took less than a day. In the end they probably paid more for a demonstrably inferior product. Unlike the Datamaster, a Wang PC could run other applications such as Lotus 123, but to my knowledge it was never used for that purpose.

When we installed the system, the accounting person was Caroline Harrington. For some reason Caroline resigned her position at DOB and came to work for us. Sue must have arranged this. I certainly did not recruit her.

In the eighties DOB’s offices were behind one of these two doors.

The agency’s building was in a rough part of town. It was less than a block away from the stripper bars. I was still relatively bullet-proof then, but I did not like to be there after dark. We did go there at night once, and we had a great time. The agency threw a party, and they invited all of their clients and vendors.

A very good live band played oldies from the fifties and sixties. The highlight of the evening was when they played the Isley Brothers’ hit, “Shout!” Everybody (except for me and my monkey) knew when to get down low, when to raise up, and when to shout. I hate rituals, but this one sort of made me wish that I had gone to at least one mixer.

The restrooms in the DOB offices were easy to find. The door to the men’s room was decorated with a three-foot high picture of Elvis Presley. The ladies’ room had a similarly sized portrait of Marilyn Monroe.


1. The ampersand was important. It was emphasized strongly in the agency’s logo.

2 .The Liparis’ last name was pronounced Lih PAIR ee, unlike the island just off the coast of Sicily, which is pronounced LEE pah ree with a trilled r. I am pretty sure that Fran and Theresa reside in Plymouth, MA, in 2021.

3. I later toyed with the idea of using inserts as the basis of a new business for TSI. Details are here.

4. Ken told me that “Exelauno!” is the Greek word for “March forth!” Google translate does not agree. I sold my ancient Greek dictionary at the end of my senior year. So, I can’t look it up. The origin of this custom is documented here.

5. Frank von Holhausen is now listed as the founder and Chief Design Officer at Forge Design & Engineering of Oxford, CT. His LinkedIn page is here.

6. Frank’s lament and the difficulty that TSI confronted in determining how much of what we did was service and how much was product acted as a key plot element in the short story that I wrote in 1988. The details are here.

7. Dave Garaventa died a year or so after we installed the system.

8. In 2021 Jeannine Bradley lives in Cromwell. She might still work at Cronin. She was promoted to accounting manager in 2012.

9. The Lyceum was built in 1895. You can read about it here.

10. Darby’s agency is still in business, but it has changed locations a few times. The latest headquarters is in South Hadley. He tells his own story here. I can’t believe he let them photograph him wearing a Yankees hat in Massachusetts.

11. Workstation Basic is described in some detail here.

12. Wang filed for bankruptcy protection in 1996.

2021 April 19-24: Geeks on Parade

A week to fix a printing problem? Continue reading

This is the usual setup of my desk. The printer (top) is only a couple of feet from the CPU. The display is balanced on my Italian dictionary. My (always plugged in) phone and wallet are stored on the base of the display.

My HP color LaserJet model M252dw, which had been attached to my Lenovo desktop and functioning without difficulty for at least five years, was still performing admirably on Friday, April 16. I did not use it on Saturday or Sunday because I was playing bridge in the online qualification tournament for the Grand National Teams (GNT).

On Monday, April 19, I decided to print my first ever coupon for cat litter. I redeemed 325 of my Paw Points on freshstep.com for a $3 coupon. The company emailed me a link to a web page on which I could print my coupon. I clicked on the link and then clicked on the “Print” button on the webpage. The screen said “Preparing preview”, but it never got any further. It just sat there spinning. I closed all the tabs on my Foxfire browser.

I clicked on the link in the email again. Foxfire started, and the same screen with the “Print” button appeared. The familiar “Preparing preview” appeared, but noting ever printed. There were no files in the printer queue.

After that, the webpage linked from the email would not allow me to try to print the coupon. I found the contact email address on freshstep.com and sent an email that explained the problem and asked them what to do to obtain my coupon.


On Tuesday the troubleshooter reported a problem with the printer.

I did not need to print anything else until late on Tuesday. At that point I could not even make a spooled file from any program. The system reported no errors. I ran the troubleshooter in Windows. It reported a problem with the LaserJet printer, but it found no specific issues.

I tried various combinations of shutting down the printer and restarting Windows. Nothing worked. When I tried to print a test page, an error appeared on the computer, and nothing printed.

A few years previous to this a virus had somehow infected my computer. A Geek Squad member (I don’t think that they called them Agents yet) found it quickly by taking over my computer and eradicated it. I was impressed enough that I had no hesitation about contacting the Geek Squad in the morning.


To Chat with a Geek Squad Agent one must click on the blue circle at the bottom right of the webpage with the word “Help” in it.

On Wednesday Morning I pointed my browser to the Geek Squad website and started a “Chat” session. In the comments window I described the problem in quite a bit of detail. Evidently the “Agent” who commenced the Chat did not have access to this. I described everything again. I was assured that this could be fixed if I allowed another agent to sign on to the computer remotely. I agreed.

On this window you must click on “Chat now”.

I was then asked if we had a Geek Squad account. I said that we once did, but I did not know if it was still active. The Agent looked it up based on the phone number that I had provided. The Agent found nothing. I asked if I could get a contract for one issue. The answer was “Yes, for $39.99.” I approved the terms by clicking on a link. Another chat window appeared on my display.

Click on “Live Chat” here.

Less than a minute later Agent Xavier introduced himself in this chat window. He asked me to unplug the printer cable and plug it into a different USB port.

I thought that this might work. In fact, I was kicking myself for not trying it earlier. Alas, it did not help. Turning the printer off and on did not help either.

Agent Xavier then asked me if we had another printer cable. Like Noah’s family, we have at least two of almost everything somewhere in our house, but I would not even know where to begin looking for a printer cable. If I found one, it would probably be thirty years old and have the wrong interfaces.

Adhering to one of my favorite axioms, “If you can’t find it, you ain’t got it”, I replied that I did not think so.

Undaunted, Agent Xavier explored the nooks and crannies of my computer’s insides for quite a long time. He told me that the problem was probably due to the fact that back in October of 2020 the last update of Windows 10 had not completed successfully. Frankly, this sounded like an admission that his only remaining tool was a hammer and he had just found a nail. I mean, how could that be the source of the problem when I had printed hundreds of pages in the interim?

I did a lot of nothing while this went on.

On the other hand, I am no expert on Windows 10. Maybe Agent Xavier was. So, I did not protest when he decided to try the update again. It took several hours, but when it finally finished, it appeared successful. At least, no error messages appeared. Back in October I was pretty sure that Windows had reported that it had been unable to complete the update.

The very first screen that appeared when the update finally finished was different. There was still a breathtaking photo in the background that had been fuzzed out, and my name appeared, but there was no field for the password. Instead, there was a clickable phrase “Sign in”. When I clicked on it, a window with a password field appeared. I entered it. I then had to go through a series of screens rejecting offers from Microsoft. So far, so good.

I tried without success to print from a number of programs. The error in printing a test page was no longer there, but every attempt at printing produced a spooled file in error status.

Agent Xavier’s little chat box did not reappear when I signed onto the system after the update. Knowing that I would need to go through the entire process of contacting the Geek Squad through the Chat windows again, I opted to wait until the next morning when I would be more rested and alert.


On Thursday morning I contacted the Geek Squad website and started another Chat session. I went through the same tedious process because neither Agent on the previous day had told me what my case number was. This Chat Agent found it told me that the case number was CAS5881919-X8R5M3. I wrote it down. The Chat Agent sent me a link so that he/she could sign on, but it timed out before anyone took advantage of the connection.

So, I had to contact the Geek Squad chat again. This time a different Agent sent me another link and set things up so that Agent D S (Double-0 Soul?)1 assumed control of my system from his little window. After trying several things he determined that the problem was the cable. He downloaded the wizard app from HP, which took some time to install. He then offered to walk me through setting up the printer for Wi-fi. I agreed. 

I set the keyboard was on the top of the printer, and I pivoted the display almost 180 degrees.

I needed to rearrange my computer’s peripherals so that I could see the printer and display at the same time and still be able to able to type on the keyboard. This was not easy. A snake’s nest of cables has formed over the years on the floor between my computer and my printer. Furthermore, I had to stand up through all of this; there was no room for a chair.

I never figured out why the printer was not able to locate our network (ChaChawave) when I did this for Agent D S.

I located the correct menus on the printer’s little screen and pressed the option to retrieve Wi-fi network information. It ran for a few minutes. Agent D S told me to watch it while he did some things. Meanwhile, the printer kept trying to retrieve network information. To this day I do not understand why it could not find any networks.

Evidently Agent D S decided to restart Windows for some reason. I did not pay close attention to what he/she was doing. I know for certain that I did not do it.

When the system came back up, the same first screen appeared as had on Wednesday after the successful update of Windows 10. I clicked on the “Sign in” link below my name. An unexpected window appeared. It said that I needed an “app” and asked if I wanted to search the store. There were two buttons: “Yes” and “No”. Unfortunately, both options returned me to the screen with the “Sign in” button. I was stuck. Restarting did not help. Neither did turning the computer off and then back on.

When my computer restarted, as usual, a Lenovo screen appeared. The lower left corner said “To interrupt normal startup press Enter“. I did so. Many times. I tried holding down the Enter key. I was not able to interrupt the process; the screen with the “Sign in” button appeared again, followed by the same window demanding an app.

Once again I was tired and very frustrated. I decided to employ the tactic that had worked so well for Quintus Fabius Maximus Verrucosus against Hannibal in the Second Punic War. I retreated and delayed.


On Friday morning I contacted the Geek Squad Chat again. I explained what happened. The Char Agent said that if I could not sign on I must bring the computer to Best Buy. Evidently it was impossible to find out what Agent D S had done, or perhaps the Chat Agent was too lazy to find out.

I definitely did not want to bring the CPU in to Best Buy. The local store in Enfield was recently closed, presumably a casualty of the pandemic. The closest remaining ones were ugly drives to Manchester, CT, or Holyoke, MA.

Evidently Geek Squad Agents are really issued badges, but I don’t think that they have a license to kill.

I called the Geek Squad 800 number to get a second opinion. Of course, I had to wait in the queue until the next available Agent could take my call. The Agent who finally answered the phone was sympathetic, but she also insisted that my only option was to cart the machine to Best Buy. I pleaded that I was 72 years old, it was more than a thirty-minute drive, and I did not want to go into a “big box” store in the middle of a pandemic. I protested that there must be someone who understood what my computer’s strange behavior was symptomatic of. More sympathy, but no action.

This look means, “Pick me up. I want to sit on your lap while you play on the computer.”

An appointment was required to interact in person with a human being wearing a Geek Squad shirt. The telephone Agent offered to make one2 for me. There was one open slot at 2:20. It was already 1:45. After that nothing was available until Tuesday! I reluctantly took the 2:20 slot and rushed to remove all of the cables from the back of my computer. While I was in the process of doing so, my seventeen-year-old cat Giacomo entered the office and started howling, a very reliable sign that he was about to barf. I grabbed some outdated grocery store inserts and put them in front of him, and (mirabile dictu!) he mostly hit them. I cleaned up the mess and drove to Best Buy with my computer and AC cable.

The GS guys at BB in Manchester wore black shirts like Kelvin’s.

I arrived at the store at about 2:30. The Geek Squad guy there was waiting for me. He spent the ten remaining minutes of my appointment trying to find my open problem on his computer. He finally did, and he also told me that he had found my account. It was under 860-386-0701, the support line for TSI. That phone was disconnected in 2014 when we closed down the office in East Windsor.

The Geek Squad employee then attached his display and keyboard and verified the problem. Then he disappeared into the back to talk to “my tech”.

The diagnosis was that my operating system had been corrupted. They would need to reinstall Windows 10. He said that they could save my files, but I would need to reinstall the programs. I had been through this once before when my hard drive crashed. Getting back to something close to where I had been was a monumental undertaking. I knew very well that this would be a major hassle. In despair I crossed my arms on the counter in front of me and set my forehead on them.

The designated talking Geek disappeared to converse with his “tech” again. I imagined that in the back room the Great and Powerful Oz was issuing edicts punctuated with bursts of fire.

The talker returned and asked me if restore points had been set. I said that I thought that I saw Agent D S do this, but I wasn’t sure. He said that if there was a restore point, they would not need to reinstall Windows.

Hope springs eternal! I left the box there and drove home with my claim check. I missed one turn recommended by the Google Maps lady, but she put me back on course and eventually welcomed me home. As I entered the house I informed Sue that I no longer had a computer, but I did have a piece of paper.

I received a text at 5:38 that said that the computer was being repaired. At 5:39 another text assured me that the repair was complete. The text did not say whether they had to reinstall Windows. I thought it very likely that the answer must be “No” because not even the Great Oz could install Windows 10 that fast.

I could pick up my computer! The text gave a link to make an appointment. Sure enough, the first one available was on Tuesday afternoon.

Sue thought that I should drive out to Best Buy to pick up the machine immediately. I was not sure that they would even allow me into the store without an appointment. She called Best Buy’s 800 number3. The guy on the phone made an appointment for 12:50PM on Saturday.


I left for Best Buy at a little after noon on Saturday. I arrived about 12:45. A different talking Geek retrieved my PC. He said that they did not need to install Windows. Rather, my computer had been booting in “Safe Mode”. The person who worked on it changed it so that it no longer did this, and a password was no longer required. I have no idea how this was accomplished, but the Great Oz would not talk to lesser beings either, unless, of course, they had murdered a witch.

The computer was turned over to me with no AC cable. The talking Geek could not find it, but he graciously gave me a new one. Best Buy charged me neither for the cable nor the “repair”.

I badly wanted to go home and try the PC, but the original problem had not yet been addressed. The printer still did not work. I had brought the printer cable, which was about fifteen feet long, with me to Best Buy. I asked an employee where the printer cables were. He told me, but I could not find them.

I looked everywhere in the vicinity. While I was doing so, my right foot began to hurt rather badly as it often did when I had walked a mile or so. I needed to do my standing step-over stretch. It took ninety seconds, but it relieves the pain. I had to hope that no one saw me.

Eventually a salesman helped me to find a printer cable. They only had 6′ ones, but that was adequate. I bought one and drove home.

The Invoice from the Geek Squad was carefully itemized. $0.00 appears ten times.

The PC worked fine. The printer seemed to work the first time that I tried with the new cable, but after that I could not get it to function. I decided to try to configure a Wi-fi printer on my own. For some reason the printer had no difficulty finding the network this time. I found the password (which the printer called “passphrase”) and carefully keyed it in on the tiny screen on the top of the printer. My seventy-two-year-old hands were not very steady, but I did manage to get it to work.

The first and fifth printers on this list produce output on the LaserJet printer. The duplicate on line 2 produces an error.

From this point on, whenever I printed anything I saw the LaserJet printer three times in the list of available printers. I thought that maybe it was connected both ways. However, if I chose the second one, an error appeared: “Could not start printer. Please check your printer configuration.”

It did not matter if the cable from the printer was plugged in or not. So, I deduced that I had two choices, both of which used Wi-fi to request output.


So, as I write this on May 5, 2021, two questions remain unresolved:

  1. Why did the printer suddenly stopped working when it was connected to the CPU by a cable? I can think of two possible explanations.
    1. A freakish solar event penetrated the chip in the printer and caused a bit to flip in the software that handled direct connections. If you do not think that this is possible, listen to this Radiolab podcast. Please don’t tell any Republicans about this.
    2. Somehow the connection in the cable interface itself or inside the printer became loose or damaged.
  2. What about the coupon that started this whole circus?

Since a workaround was found and successfully, and there is no easy way to investigate the remaining printing issue, I have lost interest.

Fresh Step has not responded to my last two emails. I will doggedly pursue this and update this entry when it has been resolved. $3 is at stake!


1. “Agent Double-O-Soul” was a modest hit for Edwin Starr in 1965. His best song was definitely “War”.

2. An appointment, not a shirt.

3. The store was not answering the phone because of the pandemic.