2022: My Ghost Walks in Enfield Square

An interesting, if spooky, place to exercise during the pandemic. Continue reading

For decades the big attraction of living in Enfield has been the easy access to almost every variety of retail store and restaurant. The concentration of these establishments in Enfield began with the construction of the Enfield Square mall and eventually spread out a few blocks in every direction except east, where I-91 blocked further expansion. As far as I know, no one celebrated the the fiftieth anniversary of the mall in 2021. Frankly, there was not much left to celebrate.

History: The potential of the property occupied by the mall was first appreciated by the May Co., one of TSI’s biggest clients and the parent company of the Hartford-based chain of department stores, G. Fox. The area attracted the company’s attention because it was between two exits of I-91 and there was little retail competition in the area north of Hartford and south of Springfield, MA. Furthermore, although Enfield itself was not a particularly wealthy town, the towns bordering it to the east (Suffield), west (Somers), and north (Longmeadow, MA) were quite prosperous and lacking in retail.

The three original anchor stores are indicated in red: G=G. Fox; P=JC Penney; S=Steiger’s. All three extended well into the parking lot and had external entrances.
This view is from the west. I cannot explain where all these cars are going. There is no exit on the west.

The May Co. purchased the land and developed a mall with three anchor stores and a very large parking lot. G. Fox occupied the prize spot—the two-story space on the western side with its own entrances. Steiger’s, a much smaller department store based in Springfield, leased the large one-story area on the eastern end. The two-story space located in the south-central area was leased to JC Penney.

This arrangement persisted for more than two decades. In 1994 Steiger’s went out of business, and in 1997 its space was leased by Sears. In 1993, the May company folded the G. Fox division into its Boston-based division, Filene’s. In 2000 the JC Penney store closed. Filene’s eventually took over the lease and closed the second floor of both of its locations. In 2006 Macy’s purchased the May Co. and rebranded Filene’s. Both Macy’s stores closed in 2016 and were never again occupied. The Sears store also closed in 2016 and was never reoccupied.

The doors on the left lead to the mall’s corridor. The ones on the right lead to Target. Few Target shoppers go to the mall area.

A new Target store was constructed and opened in 20011, but for some reason it was not really integrated into the mall. It had only one entrance—on the north side. It was next to one of the mall’s three side corridors, but there was no way to enter Target from the center of the mall without walking almost all the way down that corridor. So, it did not serve to draw traffic to the rest of the mall. It also occupied a considerable amount of parking space. For years parking was abundant on three sides of the mall and difficult on the north side.


Preparation: In January of 2022 I had been searching for an indoor location in which to walk a few miles four or five days per week. I had no interest in joining a gym, but I did investigate using a treadmill at the Enfield Senior Center. Then I thought of the mall. My dad had walked there for a while when Enfield Square was still a hive of activity. I sometimes picked him up there when we ate lunch together at Friendly’s on Wednesdays. I never asked him what it was like; I did not consider what he was doing as serious exercise, and in those days I still was in possession of a working treadmill and ample cartilage in my knees.

It occurred to me one day that I could walk in Enfield Square. I made a reconnaissance trip to gauge how many laps I would need to walk to reach my goal of five miles. I was a little surprised at how empty the building was, and some of the changes disoriented me. I was pleased with my discovery that one complete lap—including the side corridors—would constitute a hike of about half a mile. I decided to start with five laps and add one additional lap each Monday until I reached ten.

There were a few false starts. On the first hike through the mall I remembered my Bose head phones, but I forgot to bring my MP3 player. The second time I remember both the player and the headphones, but I found that the headphones trapped in too much heat. By the end of the walk I was uncomfortably hot. After that I used earbuds instead of the headphones.

On both of those first two hikes I left my winter jacket and hat in the car. I parked as close as possible to the door to the western corridor, but I still faced a fairly substantial walk in the frigid winter air from my car to the door. The next time I decided to try parking on the other side of Target near the door to the north end of the western corridor. The only store in that corridor was GameStop. I correctly figured that I would easily be able to locate a good parking spot there. In fact, the only difficulty that I encountered was with the nearest light in the parking lot. It did not seem to work, or maybe the landlord2 had disconnected it.

On my way to the mall I drove past the huge two-story western anchor store that had last been occupied by Macy’s until 2016. I remembered that for a while Lia Honda, which is a block east of Enfield Square had parked dozens or even hundreds of brand new vehicles in the western parking lot. When I drove by the former Macy’s the entire parking lot was shockingly empty. I noticed a sign on the side of the building that indicated that the building was available for lease or purchase. I feel certain that the property managers would bend over backwards to get a tenant there, but who would want it?

Come on inside and take a lap with me. We will be walking counterclockwise, which means that we will keep to the right. Some of the shoppers walk on the left side of the corridor, but I have yet to see a walker do so.

I’ll point out the sights. I’ve never actually set foot in any of the establishments at Enfield Square except for Target and the cinemas, but I’ve done a little research on some of the obscure ones, and I have made mental notes while hiking the corridors.


The western corridors: On the immediate right (west) of the northwest entrance is the GameStop store. It has been open every time that I have walked by it. Seldom has there been a potential customer within, but I can always hear or see some kind of activity.

A full-length mirror with five diagonal grey stripes has been positioned between the entrance to the store and the door through which I always enter and exit. When one is walking in the corridor towards the door it appears for a second that someone is walking up a hallway from the left. Actually the grey stripes make it appear that they are ascending a staircase.

The rest of the northwest corridor is totally uninhabited. There still is a large sign for Liberty, the tax consultants.. Liberty, which is, of course, a seasonal business has another office nearby. I am pretty sure that they have abandoned this office and just left the sign. If they intended to resume operations in the mall, I think that there would be more activity there by February 6. I, for one, have already received most of my 1099s.

Liberty’s office was on the southwest corner of the corridor in which we entered. At this point we bear to the right toward what was formerly the grand semicircular entrance to the G. Fox/Filene’s/Macy’s store that served as the western anchor store. Some walkers walk right along the wall, but I usually follow the diagonal checkerboard pathway.

I was quite shocked to discover that the entrances to two of the three of the former anchor stores had been walled up and decorated with unimaginative art work. At left is a photo of the one on the west end of the mall. I think that the artists meant to depict things that one could purchase in the mall. Not so in 2022. If the hamburger makes you hungry, you must go outside to Wendy’s or Friendly’s or across the street to McDonald’s or Burger King to get one.

As we pass through this area we can see overhead a huge wreath that was, I assume, left over from Christmas.

We haven’t encountered any humans in this area yet, but people are usually visible on the left in the main corridor. From this distance it is hard to say whether they are walkers or shoppers. All of the shoppers and most of the walkers wear at least a light jacket. I wear a sweatshirt over a tee shirt. I feel a little chilly during the first lap. After that I am happy that I left the coat behind in my Honda.

On the south side of the walled-over entrance is a large location that was for decades the location of a Waldenbooks store. I visited it often to purchase paperback books or calendars. This store was one of many that closed in January of 2007.

The space is now occupied—sort of—by the Lia car dealerships. I have walked past here at least thirty times, and I have never seen anyone. I don’t know if it was ever actually used by Lia. I doubt that anyone has been here during the pandemic. A sign in the window touts some Hyundai models from 2019.

Inside some tables and chairs are visible, as well as small displays of merchandise featuring the brands of the four Lia dealerships in Enfield The lights have never been on when I walked by, and I have never seen anyone inside of this office.

They don’t rent bowling shoes, and you need to bring your own ball.

I am fairly sure that at one time there were stores on both sides of the mall’s southwest corridor. In 2022 a couple of bowling lanes could be inserted here, and neither the retailers nor their customers would be disturbed much. There are no businesses at all on the north side of the corridor. In fact, there are not even doors or display windows. The impression given is that beyond Lia to the door at the end of the corridor is an outside wall. I am quite certain, however, that something is behind it.

We make the loop at the end of the hallway, but we are careful not to step on the carpet. Some kind of pressure sensor beneath it opens the door at the southwest ext. The first door on the right (east) after the turn was for many years a RadioShack that I frequented when I needed a particular type of cable, converter, or other piece of electronic gear. At Christmas time the store featured remote-controlled miniature cars. That spot is now empty.

In 2022 the only merchant on the entire corridor is one that I had never heard of: Rainbow. The store has been open only a few times when I walked by, but I have yet to see a customer or a salesperson.

The company’s official website states that they sell “water-based cleaning systems” for purifying the air and various surfaces. Somehow I have survived for seventy-three and a half years inhaling and exhaling dry dirty air,

There are some curious items concerning Home Helpers in the display windows on the right, but there are no active stores until we make the turn onto the main corridor.

South Side of the Main Corridor: Just around the corner is a very interesting store. The shelves are still clearly visible through the window, but they contain no merchandise. By stepping a few feet into the middle of the courtyard we can see the store’s sign. It says GNC. The G is lit up, but the NC is still dark. This must be a message of some kind, but what is it?

Perhaps it could be read as an admission that the users of GNC’s vitamins and supplements were unable to deal with the Covid-19 virus. Maybe, but perhaps the real message is that, like the G, a spark of hope remains, and soon people will be able to fortify their immune systems with over-the-counter nostrums, thereby avoiding the treacherous vaccines foisted on them by George Soros and Bill Gates.

The next store that is actually operational is the only one with its own entrance from the parking lot. It is also the brightest and largest of all of the stores except, of course, Target. All sides of the mall’s gigantic parking lot have signs with arrows indicating the direction to Party City.

The above picture was taken on a Saturday afternoon, the only time that I had ever seen anyone manning the cash register on the mall end of the store. Most customers enter and exit through the doors to the parking lot. I have, however, noticed a few people entering from the mall.

There is an empty store between Party City and the next retailer, Pelley’s Sports. Their Facebook page says that they “specialize in NFL, MLB, NBA, and NHL clothing, merchandise, memorabilia, pictures, and other sports paraphernalia.” I have passed this store many times, but I have never seen anyone inside except on Saturday afternoon. They have a lot of stuff piled up near the entrance. I could easily have missed some shoppers.

Pelley’s has purchased some of the display space of the adjacent vacant store to the west. In it are displayed large photos of some local teams and famous players. The photos are on sale for upwards of $150. One framed photo of Tom Brady is offered for $2,699! They also sell jerseys that look very authentic.

The next occupied space is occupied—at least occasionally—by the North Central Connecticut Chamber of Commerce. I don’t know why the C of C maintains an office here. However, I once saw three people sitting at a table here discussing some papers. So, evidently it is occasionally used for meetings, at least.

The next space that is sometimes open is Claudette’s Consignments. I had seen people in this store only a few times. However, despite what the photo on the right shows, on Saturday there was quite a bit more activity there. I could not find any information on the Internet about this store. I am not sure whether it is associated with the shop in the Hamptons of the same name.

Claudette’s occupies a corner space. The next area is a large two-story structure that formerly was occupied by JC Penney and then part of Filene’s and Macy’s. It has been walled off and decorated with paintings. If the picture of a slice of pizza makes you hungry, you are out of luck, but you can probably buy a cappuccino at the Starbucks inside of Target.

I think that this area must have been used as Santaland during the Christmas season. The photo only shows two huge wreaths, but the first time that I walked by in January, oversized candy canes and fake snow were spread throughout the fenced-in area. It was actually a very depressing sight.

I walk along the edge of the small fence. Some walkers choose to walk straight across from Collette’s to the store on the other side of this alcove—Bath & Body Works. By the way, on Sundays numerous people bring their dogs with them on their strolls through the malls. I am pleased to report that I did not witness any canine misbehavior.

For me the most interesting thing about BB&W was that two employees were usually visible. They almost always outnumbered the customers. I think that this place sells smelly stuff that I would never consider purchasing.

Next door is one of the newest shops. It is called SSUPhoto Designs. I have only seen one person within, a short young man who seemed chained to his computer. On chilly days he wore a stocking cap. The store has a fairly impressive website, which you can visit here. I am still not quite sure what product or service is being offered, but apparently they have the equipment and the expertise to produce designs on the computer and transfer them to many different objects. They also sell “tumblers”, dozens of which are on display.

I also found a website for a website for SSUPhoto (without the Designs). You can visit it here. It explained that the SSU stands for Snapshots Unlimited. I suspect that the store is an effort by the proprietors to expand their reach in a period of lower demand for professional photographers.

After another unoccupied space the New Life Church appears on our right. Its services are at 10AM on Sundays. I have never been in the mall at that time, and so the few people whom I have seen in this location were setting something up for the service.

Across the corridor is another space that is apparently leased by the church. Its windows display biblical quotes, and the word “Annex” is in a sign over the door. A third space on the eastern corridor also apparently belongs to the church.

The church has a rather professional-looking website, which you can explore here. I need to dispute one portion of the website that states, “Most of all, we believe you’ll find people just like you …” I seriously doubt that anyone who attends regularly is even vaguely like me. In truth I found the approach described there as just this side of terrifying.

Pastor David and Lisa.

In total, a NEW LIFE service is about 90 minutes in length. Services begin with the NEW LIFE worship band leading the church in music – song lyrics are projected onto the screens so you can sing along and/or engage with worship however you feel most comfortable. After the music portion of service is complete, our pastor will come up to share both a challenging and encouraging, hope-filled message from the Bible.

I assume that the phrase “the pastor will come up” does not imply that he ascends from the basement. If he had a trap door with a small elevator, he surely would never mention it on the website.

Next to the church is Crystal’s Fun Spot, a large space filled with objects meant to attract the attention of youngsters. On my weekday walks I seldom saw anyone in here except for the woman sitting at the desk with a large roll of paper towels at the ready. I took notice of the towels because on one occasion I neglected to bring some of my own. If I had the sniffles or a sneezing fit, I planned to enter the Fun Spot and offer crisp dollar bill to the lady at the desk in exchange for one of the towels.

On Crystal’s website (here) I learned that she charges $7 per hour for infants and $15 per hour for kids who are two and older. On weekdays I had only seen a couple of kids in here with their parents, but on Saturday afternoon there was actually a line.

Next to Crystal’s were three window displays that feature mannequins dressed in clothes with patches that are oddly arranged. There is also a pile of suitcases. I had never actually seen anyone inside, but one day the light was on, and there was some equipment visible. One window is signed by Justin Haynes, and it prominently features the name of the place: Just10 H.

Looking at the website (here) solved the puzzle for me. It said that Justin Haynes was a fashion designer who was planning a big show for February 16. There was even a countdown clock. That was only two days ago, but the website’s home page has been totally revamped. It says that Jus10 H’s label is called ONYX (the luxury label). Don’t ask me what occurred in the interim. I never have been able to keep up with fashion.

Before the pandemic the Enfield 12 Cinemas were the spot to be in this sleepy town. The mall’s website even calls them an anchor store. In the last few months I have been there twice for Metropolitan Opera Live in HD performances. There was one other person attending the first showing, Boris Godunov. Ten of us showed up for the second, Rigaletto. That is not shockingly low for opera, but I saw practically no one at all anywhere in the theater either time.

Previously there was always a line for tickets. Several times when I passed by while walking I saw no one who was even selling tickets. They don’t even promote their shows. The sign that is visible from the corridor says that the schedule is posted on the Internet and at the one-user kiosk!

Next is a booth used by the company that provides security for the mall. The last two afternoons that I walked by this spot there were two men behind the counter. A guy with a shopping cart brought at least one of them supper in a styrofoam container. He took a seat on the civilian side of the counter and ate his own supper from a similar container.

I have seen this guy every time that I came to the mall to walk. On every occasion he wore black leather shoes, black pants, and a white undershirt with shoulder straps à la Clark Gable. He did not resemble Clark much in other ways. For one thing he was grotesquely obese. He also seemed to need to use his shopping cart as a walker.

The first afternoon that I walked in the mall he had parked himself and his cart at the abandoned kiosk that once was used by nearby Asnuntuck Community College. He had some kind of strange machine sitting on top of the counter. It was plugged into an outlet on the floor. I never have figured out what he was doing then or why he seemed to spend so much time in the mall.

One day I saw him entering from the narrow corridor leading to the restrooms, the mall’s offices, and an entrance. He was wearing a thick flannel shirt-jacked, which he doffed as soon as he was settled inside. He waved to me as I passed on that occasion and on several others. Since he does not wear a mask, I give him a wide berth.

The southeast corner of the mall is operated by Cindy’s Food for the Soul. I don’t know who Cindy is; I have never seen a female in this establishment.

I did not see anything that looked like a menu posted somewhere. I expected to find a menu somewhere on the Internet, but I was disappointed. Evidently this was formerly a stand-alone deli somewhere in Enfield. Cindy evidently specializes in soul food and Jamaican food. I don’t think that anything hot is available, but I could be wrong.

At the end of the corridor we turn left in front of the old Steiger’s/Sears store. For some reason it, unlike the other two anchors, has not been walled up. Since the lights are almost never on, it might as well be. However, on one magical afternoon the interior of the abandoned store was lit up, and I got to peek inside. I could see all the way to the exterior doors on the east side. There was absolutely no furniture or debris. I saw eight or ten columns that presumably held up the roof. The floor was clean and polished. The owners of the property must have been showing the space to a potential lessee or purchaser.

At the end of the alcove where we must turn left there is a bench on which I have often seen seated a young man in a reflective vest playing with his phone. I assume that he collects shopping carts from the Target parking lot, and rests there on his break.

Eastern Corridor: We then make a right turn up the eastern corridor, which is really dead since Panera moved east to a building constructed for them in the Home Depot parking lot across Freshwater St. We make a U-turn at the door, after which we pass the door to Ruby Tuesday, which closed in 2016. It seems strange.that two very nice windows—one with stained glass panes—have been sitting there for six years.

Next is an area belonging to the church. I have never seen it open, but occasionally a light is on. I saw a foosball table in there a couple of times.

On the corner is the Kebab House. Sue and I had been planning to go there until the owners decided to close the place until the middle of February. I am pretty sure that their signs and printed menus must hold the world record for misspellings. They even misspelled kebab once!

I still fear that the restaurant may never reopen. I have walked past it many times, and I have never seen more than one of its tables occupied. Since there are always at least three employees, it is hard to see how it could survive.

Over the years his site has housed many short-lived restaurant ventures, including a McDonald’s3 and at least two different pizza joints. Its spot across from the theater with its outrageously priced food items might seem ideal, but no one has been able to make it work. Obviously prospects are worse in 2022.

North Side of the Main Corridor: I consider the turn at the Kebab House to be the halfway point in the walk. If you are thirsty, there is a machine nearby that dispenses Coca Cola products and other beverages. Be prepared to shell out $2 or more for a 20-ounce bottle.

After the turn back onto the main east-west corridor we pass an amazing number of dark stores. There are four of them before we reach Relaxation, a place that features a “Chinese Massage” for $20. In the window is a television screen showing a silent (!) description and demonstration of the technique. The good news is that the video, which is on a looped, is captioned. Unfortunately the captions are in Chinese.

The inside of the store is very dimly lit. I thought that I saw someone getting a massage once, but I could not be sure.

The nest space to the west is the church’s annex. It has always been dark when I walked past.

Then there are three more empty locations before we come to our next turn to the right around Furnari Jewelers, which is always brightly lit and always has at least two employees within. Once or twice I saw other people between the counters. I could not gauge their interest. I noticed that a sign that assured passersby: “No Credit Required.” To me it said a lot about the current state of the mall.

We are now headed north up the central corridor toward an exit and the entrance to Target. On the right is another vacant storefront that once housed “Hair in the Square.” The other storefront was abandoned on January 31, 2022. A second video games store called Stateline Video Games had been there for a short time. It had a lot of interesting stuff in its display windows, including quite a few WWE action figures that were clearly marked as “Not for Sale”. A week after the posting of many signs explaining the closure there was still quite a bit of equipment in the store. The company still operates a store in the Holyoke Mall.

By the time that we had reached the exit, we passed two other places of note. They were both in the middle of the corridor. The first, which is called Playtown, was designed for kids and their exhausted parents. The latter can take advantage of the softest of the many benches in the mall. A goodly number of very sturdy and colorful objects are provided for the youngsters to climb on and slide down. The green caterpillar at the entrance indicates that everyone must be at least 42″ tall. I have seen about ten children in here. One was close to that height, but all the rest were much shorter.

The other active location was the kiosk devoted to CM Repairs and Accessories. According to a map that I discovered on the Internet, this kiosk was once located outside of Cindy’s Fun Spot. The new location would seem to be optimal, but I have only seen one or two potential customers here. The last few time that I walked by this location the booth was not manned. There were lots of phone accessories on display and signs for calling India for $19 per month and something called Lyca Mobile, a wireless network based in England.

I looked at the CM Facebook page for help in understanding what CM stood for and what the significance of the circle around the C was, but I found nothing. It sounded like a one-man show with a Massachusetts phone number.

The only open business in the central corridor is Tranquility Day Spa and Salon. I frankly have only the vaguest idea of what services and products are offered within this establishment. I don’t think that you can just wander in. The desk at the entrance is almost always manned by a guy in a lab coat. A sign warns that if you want a manicure you must wear a mask.

The most popular product appears to be nail polish. They have dozens of choices on display near the entrance. I have witnessed quite a few women checking out the selections there.

The Lyon and Bear is to the right of Claire’s.

The corner space is unoccupied, but after we are return to the main corridor we pass by four consecutive occupied (at least occasionally) stores. The first one is the most mysterious. Two 8½ by 11 signs taped to the window identify it as “The Lyon and Bear”. I don’t understand the name. A very large lion toy hangs from the ceiling, but no bear was visible. Its Facebook page mostly promoted beard oil and trimmers when I looked at it.

The C of C welcomed the store in October 2021 with an article that did little to explain its purpose. You can read it here.

Claire’s, on the other hand, has been in the mall for decades. I seem to recall that it was formerly in the southeast corridor. I have never dared to enter. I have seen several moms with quite young girls who were apparently there to take advantage of the free ear-piercing. Apparently this is an accepted right of passage.

Next on the right is the brightly lit T-Mobile store. Although it is featuring “iPhone 13 on Us”, I have almost never seen a customer in this store. I remember that Jason Dean4, one of TSI’s programmers, told me that he and his wife had switched to T-Mobile to save a little money. Unfortunately, his new phone did not work at all inside his apartment. The signal was too week. He switched back to his previous carrier, but it involved a major hassle.

The cleanup hitter in this murderer’s row of retail is LensCrafters. It has been located in the mall for a very long time. Sue bought at least one pair of glasses there. It always seems to be busy when I passed by, which I found a little surprising. Target has its own fairly large optical department, and so LensCrafters is one of the few retailers in the mall that directly competes with the only real anchor store.

The last stretch of the walk is the most depressing. The last seven spaces on our right are unoccupied! A few, like Dollar ‘N’ Things and inField Research, still have signs, and the windows of others are decorated with advertising. One of the windows strangely promotes Dollar ‘N’ Things. Google thinks that inField Research is still in business in February 2022, but the office is empty.

Here is another map of the entire mall. I have enclosed in green the names of the entities open in February 2022. New ones I have identified with abbreviations in green and explained in the caption.

If you click on the image, a much larger and more readable version will be displayed. N is the location of the North Central CT Chamber of Commerce, CC is Collette’s Consignments, New Life is the New Life Church with the Annex across the hall., J10H is Justin Haynes, C is Cindy’s Food for the Soul, K is the Kebab House, and LB is the Lyon and Bear. The big arrow shows how CM’s Kiosk has moved.

Machines: The corridors also contain quite a few vending machines. The largest one, by far, dispenses acne products from Proactiv. I have never seen anyone within ten feet of this one. For one thing malls are no longer where teens hang out. I would think that if one suffered from really bad acne, one would not want to advertise one’s condition in the middle of the mall, but what do I know?

Numerous machines cater to the needs of hungry and thirsty denizens of Enfield square. Three machines sell ice cream products called Mini Melts. One is near Playtown. The other pair are back-to-back near the east end of the long corridor. I have never seen anyone buying or eating ice cream in the mall this winter. I did not get a photo because I did not really notice the machines while I was doing my photo lap.

There are six machines that dispense Coca Cola and Vitamin Water beverages. The placement is a little weird. Two are back-to-back near the southwest entrance. Two pairs are side-by-side on the western end of the main corridor and near the exit at the end of the north-central corridor. I have never seen anyone buy anything from either one, and I have noticed no one with a 20-ounce bottle of anything.

Two fairly large collections of gumball machines are on display in the long corridor. One is near Party City and Pelley’s Sports. The other is in front of Jus10H.I don’t know if any of the dispensers actually work. I have never seen anyone try to purchase anything from them. At least two of the glass globes were empty in both collections.

There are at least four ATM machines if you count the one just inside Tranquility. I have never seen anyone use one, and it is hard to imagine why they would. All of the machine—except perhaps the gumball machine—take credit cards. Cash is so pre-pandemic.

A machine near Party City takes three strips of photos. I had my doubts about whether such an old-fashioned machine actually functioned, but I once witnessed three people enter the machine and pull the curtain shut. I must assume that they had their photos. Since everyone in 2022 has a phone with a pretty good camera in it, I don’t think that this type of machine has much future.

Another area near LensCrafters features the twenty-first century’s answer to the mechanical horses that kids could rid for a quarter. This one contains a one-seat train that might be Thomas, a large red dog named Clifford with a seat on his back, and two fairly large ceramic cars. Each car has a figure sitting in it, but there is room for a child to act as driver—on the right side! One passenger (in a taxi) is Paddington Bear. The other car is labeled “Fetch the Vet”. Evidently the company who created this diorama is British.

I have seen kids climbing on these vehicle, but I have never seen any adults pony up the money to make them do anything. The train costs three quarters. I did not examine the other rides.

There are three sets of machines that to me seem out of place. A pair of machines are back-to-back in the main corridor. They sell stickers and tattoos. I did not examine them too closely.

The second weird collection is near the Mini Melts that is between Tranquility and Target. To the right of the Mini Melts machine are two adjacent machines labeled Prize Cube and Winners Cube. I don’t know any more about them. On the other side of Mini Melts is a set of machines that look like gumball machines, but they actually contain little plastic containers with prizes inside.

Closer to the exit by Target is the traditional machine that lets kids try—mostly in vain—to snatch attractive looking toys by manipulating a large claw-like implement.


Conclusion: I am glad that I had the opportunity to become familiar with the pandemic version of the mall. I don’t see how it can possibly last long. I therefore feel sympathy for the entrepreneurs who have bet on it. The owners of the mall want to split the site into thirteen parcels.

I expect that I will need to find a new place to hike in the winter of 2022-23.


Updates Throughout 2022

Celebrity spottings: I am pretty sure that I saw two of the mAll-Stars in person. On consecutive Fridays I have seen Pastor David getting things ready for the Sunday services at the New Life Church. On February 27 I saw Justin Haynes changing the window display for Jus10H, sweeping out his space, and chatting with the security guard. Later the lights were on in his space as he made a presentation to two ladies dressed in black.

March 3, 2022: Tranquility Day Spa and Salon, which enjoyed one of the very best locations in the mall, has closed. It has apparently merged with another salon in the strip mall south of Hazard Avenue that contains ShopRite.. Maybe it was purchased by the other company, which is called Modern Nails & Spa. The ATM remained in the old Tranquility location, but it was unplugged.

The Kebab House, which promised to reopen by mid-February, is also apparently closing. Two men were in the restaurant. I could not tell precisely what they were doing, but the older of the two left the building carrying a sign that was used to advertise the restaurant.

I noticed for the first time a third set of gumball machines near the Playtown. There are two racks of six machines. The other two locations have eighteen machines. I counted.

Fashion news: the guy with the grocery cart apparently has at least three colors of undershirts with shoulder straps and no sleeves—white, gray, and black.

March 4, 2022: There was quite a bit of activity in the mall. The Red Cross ran a blood drive in one of the vacant stores near the middle of the main corridor. In addition in the very middle of the mall (near Furnari) a couple had set up some tables where they sold jewelry. I think that they store their inventory in the space that is across the short corridor from Furnari. I have seen stuff in there.

The only remnant of Tranquility was a table outside of the barred entrance. On it were business cards for the new location in the Brookside Plaza shopping center. I picked one up. The back of the card keeps track of visits to Modern with this offer: “After 10 visits get one FREE Eyebrow or FREE Basic Manicure.” I am not sure where people would place the third eyebrow.

The big news was that people were working in the kitchen of the Kebab House. The sign that said that it would return in mid-February had been changed to promise a reopening on March 5. So, my previous assessment that it seemed to be closing was erroneous.

I have encountered two pairs of women who were walking clockwise laps. How could they not notice that everyone else was walking clockwise? I almost smashed into both of them several times. Maybe they were from Great Britain, Japan, or Australia.

For the first time I saw someone eating a bowl of Mini Melts with a spoon—like cereal. So, at least one of the machines must work. A bowl costs $4 or $4.50 if you use a credit card.

March 9, 2022: The Kebab House is definitely open. I noticed a few patrons.

The fenced off area in the center court where the entrance to Penney’s used to be5 has been removed. This must have been where Santaland was placed during December. Evidently the Easter Bunny will not be getting the same treatment.

Some of the window coverings at the space that housed Panera have been removed. For the first time I could see inside. Although it has been abandoned for months, the booths are still there.

On the other hand the mysterious corner space in center court has been curtained off on the east side. Two large stepladders were visible from the south side as well as the tables that contained all the unsold merchandise.

A couple of kids had skateboards, but the mall was empty enough that it was not obnoxious.

March 13, 2022: There was quite a bit of activity today. Almost every store had customers, and there was a line at the kiosk at the cinemas. I saw two sets of customers dining at the Kebab House, and the food looked delicious.

A stage was set up in front of the old entrance to Penney’s, but I could walk behind it. It must have been for the Girl Scouts’ event on the previous day. On one of my laps I observed two young ladies who appeared to be rehearsing putting one hand on a hip. Off to the side one of the doors was open. The opening was mostly obscured, but I caught a glimpse of a fully decorated Christmas tree. Evidently, the Christmas stuff is stored in a little room behind Collette’s Consignments.

For the first time ever I saw two people buy something from gumball machines. So, I guess that they actually work.

April 1: The guy in the CM phone repair booth is back. There is also a kiosk next to his booth that has at least 100 sunglasses on it and a sign that says that you can buy three for $10. No one is near the kiosk.. Maybe you pay the CM guy if you want to buy some. In my nine laps I saw no one who showed any interest in either sun glasses or phones.

A guy with a bag was standing outside of Rainbow on my first lap. On the next four or five (a lap takes me about ten minutes) he was busily demonstrating a vacuum cleaner of some kind to a lady with a mask. I assume that he was trying to persuade her to market the vacuum that he represented.

April 3: I did nine more laps, and I still saw no one show the slightest interest in CM or the sunglasses. Someone had apparently tried a few pairs on and left them on a shelf.

For the first time ever someone stopped me to ask me a question—three times! The first time it was a black guy whom I had seen walking laps quite a few times. He asked me how old I was and how many miles I walked. He then informed me that he was also seventy-three. A little later he stopped me again and asked me if I had gotten my second booster shot.

At the other end of the court on that same lap another guy asked me something while I was listening to Maria Callas singing an aria from from Il Pirata. I took out one earplug, and I heard him say “… how long …?” I answered, “An hour and a half.” He asked, “A half hour?” I repeated myself and went on. A few minutes later I realized that he was actually asking me how long an entire circuit of the mall was.

May 30: On Memorial day the mall was almost completely empty. The movie theater was doing a reasonable business. The Kebab House had at least two occupied tables every time I came around, and my circuit takes me an hour and a half in total.

I wore my Michigan Debate shirt while I was walking. Someone stopped me and asked me if I taught at Michigan. I explained that I had attended U-M twice. He then asked me that a friend of his was interested in vintage clothing—tee shirts and sweatshirts. He wondered if I had any. Although I actually do have a few items that are so disgusting not even I would wear them, I told him that I did not. This occurred on my last lap. If it had been earlier, I might have been more receptive to his request.

I moved my car over to the northeast side and stepped back in with my camera to take a photo of the huge two-person virtual-reality game that is parked just outside of the cinema. It looks really impressive, but I have yet to see someone try it out.

July 25: Another one bites the dust. Lens Crafters has moved to Enfield Commons. The store is between Starbucks and Jersey Mike’s, next to Olive Garden. This sounds to me like the death knell for the mall.

October 17: Bad news first: A sign has been posted that Collette’s, the store that specialized in “new and lightly used” clothing. was in the process of closing. I also saw a sign announcing that one of the two restaurants, Cindy’s,was “relocating”. It did not note the new location.

The most positive news was that Stateline, the store that sold video games and other things, has returned to the same location near Target that it had abandoned in February. I thought that it was peculiar that so much stuff had been left in the store when it closed the first time. In other areas of the mall there were also some new window displays that highlight Stateline’s products.

SSUPhoto was in the process of moving its operation across the main aisle of the mall. The new location appears to be somewhat larger. The store was not open when I walked by it, but I judged from what I could see through the windows that they seemed to have expanded the number of items that they are selling.

There were four new large massage chairs near the cinema. I did not inspect them closely, and I did not see anyone try them out.

For the fist time I saw someone purchase some gum or candy from one of the many gumball machines.

I should not that I did not see the fellow with the shopping cart/walker and the sleeveless shirts. However, on one of my outdoor walks I did see him in the parking lot of Holy Trinity Episcopal church on Hazard Avenue. I could not tell what he was doing.

This was the first time that I walked in the mall without a mask.


December 1: The mall was decorated for Christmas, but there were only a few shoppers, and the corner near the old Penney’s that was reserved for the absent Santa was a little pathetic. I have not seen the hefty gentleman with the Target shopping cart for several months.

The office across from GameStop is now occupied by Skyward Family Therapy, but it is not open yet. I noticed that one of the tiles close to its door is partly the wrong color. I had never paid much attention to the tiles, but after making that discovery I realized that in several other places broken tiles have been replaced with tiles of a different color. Near Target were two signs warning about tiles needing repair.

A new store named “Tree”-mendous has opened between Pelley’s Sports and the corridor that leads to the restroom. Three women were inside behind a long table surrounded by fully decorated artificial trees. According to the signage the are also having a drawing for a tree. More trees were visible in one of the empty stores.

Claudette’s has reopened. The store is offering all jeans in the store for only $5 per pair.

The Jurassic Park virtual reality game that arrived in May has been removed. For the first time I saw someone sitting in the massage chairs. For approximately thirty minutes a man sat in one and a woman in the other. When I passed them they were each busily working their smartphones.

Jus10H was open, and Justin was inside! He was putting the finishing touches on new window displays. The inside, which was fully lighted, was also rearranged, and there were displays of fabric. He must be about to make a presentation to someone.

For the first time I saw a woman sitting in the security office.

The business at the Kebab House seems to be picking up. Sue Rudd told me that she ate there, and the food was good.

I can still walk nine laps with no discomfort whatsoever.

December 14: On my first lap I noticed a woman who was leaning against the window of the old Liberty Tax store that is now used for blood drives. On the next lap—ten or fifteen minutes later—she had moved across to the corridor that led to the south exit that is west of Party City. She was now sitting down. During the next three laps she was still sitting, but she appeared to be sleeping with a cellphone in her hand. On the sixth lap she was standing up and leaning against the wall. He seemed to be attempting to make sure that she was all right. On the seventh lap she was seated on a bench near Game Stop with a different man who placed his hand on her shoulder—evidently to comfort her—as I walked by. Policemen entered as I passed the southwest door, but they turned toward the central court. On the eighth lap I saw the two policemen talking with the woman. She was still sitting on the bench and seemed about to cry. On my ninth and last lap none of the people mentioned in this paragraph was still around.

“Tree”-mendous was already closed.

December 18: Santa was in the mall! I am pretty sure that this Santa was told not to touch any children. They sat on little chairs next to Santa’s big one while someone photographed them.

December 19: Very strange. Santa was on duty again, but he had clearly gained thirty or forty pounds overnight. Also, he was wearing a different set of glasses. Someone must have told him to be more friendly with the kids. They still sat on the little chairs (as opposed to his lap), but he put his arms around them.

January 14, 2024: The 2023 Santa had a lonely job. There was never anything approaching a line. Sometimes he would go sit on the bench and wave at kids. He had two female helpers who had little to do. Santaland was finally disassembled in the middle of January.

Cinemark closed in early December of 2023. If you lived in Enfield in 2024, seeing a movie required a twenty-five minute drive. Bath and Body Works moved to Enfield Commons on the north side of Hazard Avenue. On Friday, January 24, signs appeared outside of GameStop announcing that all of the employees had resigned. Another sign said, “Closed until further notice.” However, on Sunday the store was open. There were signs that solicited employees and another one announcing the hours as “Sun-Sat 12-6.” Claudette’s has been gone for several months.

New businesses in 2023 included:

Calm Panda Smartshop.
  • D Gym had irregular hours. It featured an assortment of exercise machines and mats upon which young people performed calisthenics while loud music and a trainer encouraged them. It occupied the spot formerly held by Tranquility.
  • Second Floor Games also had irregular hours. It appeared to be mostly a snack shop with a few tables. I thought at first that, because it was near the Cinemark, that they might be trying to undercut the outrageous prices at the concession stand there. However, it outlived the theaters by at least a month.
  • Haven Games and hobbies moved into the large site previously occupied by Jus10H. The store featured a dozen or so tables at which nerdy people dressed in black played games of some sort. A sign on the window claimed that they were open until midnight on most nights. Since the mall closed at 10, that seemed questionable.
  • Integrity Martial Arts seemed to cater to young kids. Their parents could often be seen in the chairs provided for them or loitering nearby. One day I saw a father dragging his son to the studio. The kid was literally kicking and screaming. That was on my last lap, and so I never found out who prevailed. Smart money was on the kid.
  • Calm Panda evidently sold marijuana and accoutrements. It was hardly ever open.
  • After Hours offered to set up, host, and photograph parties or other events. It was open only by appointment.
  • The Moon Crystal claimed to be a “metaphysical and spiritual shop.” It appeared to have two owners, both female. One occasionally gave tarot card readings. The other claimed to be psychic.
  • Da Money Pit sold shoes, tee shirts, and the like, but something about it seemed off. On my last walk the lights were on, but the front entrance was closed and locked. As I walked past someone exited by the back door and then carefully locked it. Later a woman entered by the same door. Who knows

A hangout near Target called Wukong Tea opened in December of 2023. It has proved popular with teenagers. They sold concoctions of tea, fruit, milk, and other things. The lowest-priced beverage cost an astounding $5.25. The drinks were made in a back room. Customers, almost always in groups of two or more, seemed content to wait and chat while seated at the modern tables.

Both the Kebab House, with its new Mosaic Cafe across the hall in the area formerly occupied by Panera Bread, and LA Subs seemed to be doing pretty well in 2024.

Jus10H moved to a larger location on the other side of the mall. The interior seemed considerably different on the few occasions in which someone was there.

The rumors that the entire mall would be closed down because of problems in the roof had not come true yet in early 2024.

September 26, 2024: On a walk about a month earlier I witnessed—for the very first time—someone trying to purchase a Coke from one of the three vending machines. He was having difficulty as I walked past. I did not linger to find out whether he was able to make a purchase. I noticed on this occasion that the displayed Coke cans in the machine on the east side of the mall have faded so much that they are almost pink.

I walked for much more than an hour and encountered no other walkers. The most interesting occurrence was at the Jehovah’s Witnesses corner outside of Target. I walked past it seven times. Usually it was managed by two women. On this occasion a woman sat on one of the two chairs and talked to a guy who was wearing a suit, attire that I can never remember seeing in the mall, not even at the Chamber of Commerce. I could not understand why the fellow never took a seat.

The hours for the mall had been changed so that it closed at 6pm on Sunday and at 7pm on all other days. I left at 6:55, and Haven Games still had two tables of players that showed no signs of imminent departure. The part of the parking lot that I always use was uncharacteristically crowded. Prior to the move of Haven Games it seldom had more than two or three cars.

Calm Panda has gone the way of the dodo.

A Virtual Reality place named Quest VR Loung, across the Target corridor from Furnari Jewelers never opened. It seemed bizarre that in the spring it was advertised and furnished with a three-person couch, a two-person couch, and three chairs. The sign and all of the furniture have not been removed.

The small storefront on the corner across from the Kebab House and LA Subs was now occupied by Vicki’s Diaper Cakes. I have not been able to figure out what was sold here.

The caretaker was painting the wall for the old Penney’s store in the middle of the mall. The new color was a flat grey. I had to assume that this was just a primer for whatever the owners intended it to be.

November 23, 2024: It was 48 degrees outside, but a fairly high percentage of the few people whom I saw were wearing shorts. One guy wore no socks either.

It is the weekend before Thanksgiving, but Santa’s Candy Court. as it was now called, has already been completed. It is larger than last year’s setup and much nicer. There are a lot of fake Christmas trees, and Santa’s red throne now has a very homey backdrop with a fireplace and Christmas decorations. It was not open yet. For me it just made it harder for me to walk around because more than 90 percent of the area was cordoned off.

There is a new storefront just west of After Hours and east of Jus10H called the Dionysus Theatre Company. Its website can be reached here. They are presenting a performance called Speakeasy One Acts on December 13 and 14. Tickets are $30.

I may be mistaken, but I think that Playtown had some new items, including a footbridge. The flashing-light board outside of it was different, but no more interesting.


November 29, 2024: One of the regular mall-walkers previously would walk bent over at the waist from one bench to another before resting. On Black Friday she was using a walker. A guy who did a mile or so was also using a crutch under his left arm even though he did not seem to need it.

Santa was on break during my first lap, but he had two or three customers in the subsequent hour and a half. There are tables with form letters and colored pencils where kids can compose their letters to St. Nick.

I judged the success of LA Subs too soon. The space is now held by Moz Pizza and grinders. Rainbow, which sells something to do with indoor air pollution, has moved to the space just south of its previous location. It previously was a “training area” for something.


December 18-19, 2024: Christmas was less than a week away, but the customers were staying away from every store except Target. Santa had very little business. The mall seemed to be employing more security and more janitorial staff, which was a strange reaction to the lack of shoppers.

D Gym has closed. The proprietor, “Bodies by Davith”, had a tag sale and then moved the operation elsewhere. A sign suggested contacting “Enfield Supports Small Business.” Vicki’s Diaper Cakes has closed. State Line Games was not open on either day, but there are no signs announcing a closure. A sign near the entrance of SSU Photo announced that it would be moving (again) over the weekend of February 1-2.

A new store selling oriental rugs appeared to be nearly ready to open. There was no signage yet, but the doors were open, the lights were on, and plenty of merchandise was on display. It was located just north of the Kebab House, which seemed appropriate.


1. I was astounded to learn that the Target store had been in Enfield for twenty years and that for fifteen of them it coexisted in Enfield Square with Filene’s/Macy’s and Sears.

2. In February of 2022 the property is owned by three Long Island-based companies — Namdar Realty Group, Ch. Hakimi Global Inc., and Mason Asset Management. KeyPoint Partners is currently handling the management and leasing of the properties. As of March 2021 the Target store was sold to Steven Dubler.

3. While that takeout location in the mall was operational, there was also a McD’s just south of the mall, and one just north of the mall. Another McD’s is on Hazard Ave. in the Scitico section of town several miles east of Enfield Square. All three of those restaurants were still operating in 2023.

4. Jason’s career at TSI is chronicled here.

5. In New England directions are often given in terms of landmarks, whether they are still there or not. New Englanders seem to have a much stronger sense of history than geography.

1996-2006 TSI: AdDept Clients: May Company

As soon as the AdDept system at Macy’s in New York (described here) was running reasonably well, the May Department Stores Company became the most attractive marketing target for the system. The largest advertiser (at least in newspapers) in central … Continue reading

The G. Fox & Co. store in downtown Hartford.

As soon as the AdDept system at Macy’s in New York (described here) was running reasonably well, the May Department Stores Company became the most attractive marketing target for the system. The largest advertiser (at least in newspapers) in central Connecticut was—by far—G. Fox, a traditional department store similar to Macy’s that was based in Hartford. They even had a store that was within walking distance of our new house in Enfield.1 I was well aware that G.Fox was part of the May Company and that the May Company was largely responsible for the development of the mall.

I had purchased a book from somewhere that contained marketing information on large retailers. In it I learned that the May Company, which had been in business since 1877, operated the following divisions in 1989:

  • G. Fox & Co. based in Hartford.
  • The Hecht Company with headquarters in Arlington, VA.
  • Filene’s, a former Federated division based in Boston.
  • Foley’s, a former Federated division based in Houston.
  • Kaufmann’s in Pittsburgh.
  • Famous-Barr in St. Louis
  • J. W. Robinson Co. in Los Angeles.
  • May California in Los Angeles.
  • May D&F in Denver.
  • May Ohio in Cleveland.
  • Lord & Taylor in New York.
  • Meier & Frank in Portland, OR.
  • Venture, a chain of discount stores based in O’Fallon, MO.
  • Payless, a chain of shoe stores based in Miami.

That’s fourteen independently run divisions that were, except for maybe the last one or two, good prospects for the AdDept system. I figured that if we could persuade the parent company to commit to using AdDept in all of its divisions, TSI would be set for life. Maybe they would even buy us! That was the way that small software companies thought (and dreamed) in the late eighties.

In fact, the May Company during that period was busy acquiring other department stores, and that attitude put a lot of stress on the advertising departments of the divisions that acquired the new stores. There is no doubt that the May Company’s acquisition of thirteen Thalhimer’s stores in 1992 was the impetus for Hecht’s to purchase the AdDept system that year.2 Hecht’s advertising department had been using a PC-based system for producing corporate reports. It was completely incapable of handling the extra load. Similarly, when May D&F was folded into Foley’s in 1993, the Houston division suddenly was facing a greatly increased workload. That caused them to call TSI for help, and we installed an AdDept system for them.3 Capacity was never an issue for AdDept; we always proposed hardware near the lowest end of the available AS/400 models. If a client outgrew its hardware, it could migrate to a more powerful model.

Filene’s store in Boston.

In 1993 G. Fox was absorbed by the Filene’s division. Having a pretty good idea of the problems that this would cause for the advertising department of Filene’s, we tried to interest them in using AdDept. However, for reasons that I have never completely understood, we were unable to get our foot in that door for many years. Filene’s advertising department never took advantage of a significant portion of the system productively enough that we were able to use them as a reference.4

Instead, our third May Company installation was at Lord & Taylor5, where I learned that L&T did not play by the same rules as the other divisions. In some ways that caused headaches; in other ways it was delightful.


Doug Pease: In 1993 Sue and I hired Doug Pease to handle our marketing. One of the primary reasons that we selected him was because he had formerly worked in G. Fox’s advertising department in Hartford. He was looking for a job because the G. Fox stores had been converted to the Filene’s logo, and the advertising for those stores was planned and purchased from the office in Boston. Doug was quite familiar with the work flow of an advertising department that was similar to the ones that TSI was targeting, and he also had some contacts in the industry. Our hope was that he could grab the brass ring of the May Company for us while I was busy trying to get the systems for the three divisions—and a few other retailers—that we had sold up and running.

This was a very important time for TSI. My image of those days resembles a hockey stick. Until that time TSI had experienced rather flat earnings. We were basically just getting by. By contrast, in the last seven years of the twentieth century we had as much work as we could handle, and our financial statements were much better.

Unfortunately, I have almost no notes for that entire period. I talked with Doug on a regular basis, but my focus was on the current installations. I depended on him to establish a relationship with prospective customers. As soon as we hired him we did a mailing to prospective customers, and Doug took to the phones. He talked with several people at the May Company.

The main liaison person between the May Company and the advertising departments of its divisions was named Fred Christen. I never heard anyone say a bad word about him. He had, of course, heard about our work at our three installations, and he seemed to be impressed.

I am pretty sure that we had another “guardian angel” at the corporate headquarters. I often seemed to be at an advertising department at a division at the same time as a corporate auditor whose first name was Linus. His job was to assess the way that divisions were reporting their advertising expenses and income from co-op programs for their vendors. He seemed to be impressed with the way that AdDept handled these things.

May D&F store in Denver.

Fred Christen left the May Company shortly after Doug arrived at TSI. I heard that Fred left to manage his family’s business. Doug established a relationship with Fred’s successor, Dennis Wallace. I am pretty sure that Doug made at least one trip to St. Louis, but I don’t remember the details. At any rate, at some point the May Company decided that AdDept should be installed in all of the department store divisions. At that point Robinsons and May California had merged, May D&F had been folded into Foley’s, Kaufmann’s had taken over the May Ohio stores6, and the May Company had divested the Venture stores. So, we learned about five new clients in one swell foop: Famous-Barr7, Filene’s, Meier & Frank, Robinsons-May, and Kaufmann’s.

In retrospect I find it rather incredible that I have so little recollection of the details of how or when this decision came about. It was definitely a momentous occasion for TSI, but I remember no fanfare or celebration at all. I don’t think that the deal was finalized until 1996 or 1997. In the interim I installed quite a few AdDept systems at other retailers.

Employees at the May Company treated us fairly from day one right up until the time that the company was purchased by Federated in 2006. Most of TSI’s dealings with the May Company were at the division level. The following is a summary of my notes of our dealings with the corporate entity after all of the systems had been installed.


Notes: The first note that I have is dated October 18, 1999. It makes reference to a “sales tax fiasco”. I think that this must be about whether it was necessary to charge sales tax on our software and services. Because all of our AdDept clients were in other states, we were generally able to avoid doing so. However, there is an Excel file with a similar date that lists three invoices for Robinsons-May, which was in California, and three for Filene’s, which was in Massachusetts. Massachusetts and Connecticut had an agreement by which each collected taxes for the other. So, we definitely needed to charge Filene’s tax.

We also had a problem with California. TSI’s second accountant, whose name I do not remember, was hired in the early days of the AdDept system. She advised us to register with every state in which we had clients. This was poor advice, and we changed accountants shortly after that. However, there is no way to take back a company’s registration.

I vaguely remember an issue from several years earlier that involved an arrangement that my partner (and later wife) Sue Comparetto had made with Gottschalks, another store in California. In this case, the invoices were probably sent to St. Louis and paid by the May Company. We had never registered in Missouri, and we never paid sales tax there.

On January 2 of 2000 I wrote the following email to my other partner, Denise Bessette:

I think that we need to get something established as soon as possible with the May Co. to get compensated for your time and mine. Do you have any suggestions? I also think that it might be time for one or both of us of us to go to St. Louis and talk turkey with them. I am serious about this. I really am tired of not knowing where we stand.

I found a six-page document dated February 7, 2001. It concerned the specs for a Planning System Interface. Evidently they had an application called WD that they wanted to feed. They provided me with a document describing the system that had at least sixty-seven pages. Evidently we had been talking about this for at least two years. The document lists my questions and their incredibly vague responses. No one could conceivably quote an interface based on the responses that we received. I only vaguely remember this whole process. “WD” sounds familiar, but I am pretty certain that we never quoted it, much less coded it.

Denise and I went to visit the May Company together, but I think that it was in 2002. I went to St. Louis in 2001 to install AdDept for use by Filene’s on an AS/400 in the Midwest Data Center. I stayed in the Adam’s Mark Hotel. I did not like where they told me to stay. This is what I wrote to Denise.

My hotel room in St. Louis is absurd. It is a huge suite. I located a microwave and refrigerator inside what looked like a chest of some kind. For some reason it is much easier to find these two features in places where it is impossible to buy food (because I am downtown). The bathroom is right by the door, about a quarter mile from the bed. There are two TV sets, but no Jacuzzi, at least not in the room. The thermostat is out of whack. You have to set it to nearly 80 to keep the room from being frigid. I fear that they may not offer free breakfast here. They did not mention anything when I checked in.

It is supposed to rain all day here. There may even be thunderstorms. I was too lazy to run on Sunday. I will probably regret it today.

I hope that the May Co. has a comfortable nap room. I have become quite accustomed to the two-hour post-breakfast naps.

I think that the guy on the phone is Dennis Wallace. I don’t recognize the other two.

I remember that room and the rain much better than I remember what I did at the May Company. On subsequent visits I stayed at a nearby Hampton Inn. Incidentally, more than two decades later I still take lots of naps.

I found an agenda for a meeting with the May Company dated August of 2002. This must be the trip that Denise and I took together. Here it is:

  1. TSI
    1. People
    2. History
      1. Founded in 1979.
      2. Advertising in 1981
      3. Retail in 1988.
      4. First May division (Hecht’s) in 1991
    3. Custom programming
      1. Good at diagnosis.
      2. Incredibly efficient system of delivering custom code using BASIC.
      3. Two principles:
        1. There should be one version of the truth;
        2. Everyone should be able to take advantage of work done by others.
      4. People capable of completing difficult projects within parameters.
  2. AdDept
    1. Intent
      1. All administrative aspects.
      2. All media.
      3. Easily customizable.
      4. Require a minimum of local support — AS/400.
    2. Retail advertising is difficult.
      1. All the difficulties of retail — stores, merchants, accounting, A/P, and co-op
      2. All the difficulties of advertising
        1. Multiple media, each with almost completely different structure
        2. Media scheduling, production scheduling, estimating, loan room, etc.
    3. System design
      1. Scheduling:
        1. Every media represented in the ad file.
        2. Open on-line database works best when each person updates the system with information as soon as it is available.
        3. One main program, many well-normalized files.
        4. History of significant changes:
          • Production.
          • Financial.
      2. Financial:
        1. One main set of files (header and detail).
        2. Many front ends with supporting detail files.
        3. Two months, three amounts.
        4. Interfaces
      3. Cost accounting (data warehouse)
        1. Detail at the department level using May Company rules.
        2. Can also be used for other purposes:
          • Planning
          • Store-level analysis
      4. Add-ons
        1. Productivity
        2. Competitors
        3. Loan room inventory and transactions
        4. Photo studio
  3. May future plans
    1. Filene’s
    2. Uniformity
    3. Best practices
  4. Technology
    1. Explain CFINT
    2. Explain performance of 5250 v. browser-based
    3. Why “web-facing” doesn’t help
    4. Explain V5
      1. BASIC compiler.
        1. Should we convert to C?
        2. Should we convert to Net.Data?
        3. Should we convert to WAS/Java?
        4. Should we look to Wintel?
      2. Can’t save back very far.
      3. InfoPrint server allows output as .pdf files.
    5. Browser-based programming requires VPN or the equivalent for support.
  5. Other things
    1. AxN.
    2. Peggy Southworth labels.
  6. What else?

Some of this has fled my memory. I do remember that CFINT was a program that regulated performance. Prior to version 5 of the operating system the users could allocate priorities for jobs between “interactive” jobs (5250 sessions on terminals or PCs) and “batch” jobs (everything else, including jobs that relied on something between themselves and the operating system, such as a Java server). IBM wanted to show that the Java jobs had good performance. To do so it slowed down all jobs that were running as interactive. Nothing that IBM had previously done was as hated as this tactic.

I also remember the Peggy Southworth labels. Every division was required to create these labels for each print media job in a precisely specified format. We wrote a program for one of the divisions to do this for them.

The notes indicate that Denise and I met with Rob Cole and Mike Henry. I only vaguely remember them. I have a more vivid memory of Lew Allder, who was a Vice President in the IT department. He showed us around the machine room and assured us that the small size of our organization was not an issue with him or anyone else at the May Company. Everyone with whom we talked was very supportive of what we had done and what we were planning for the future.

Don’t take the bridge across the river.

I also remember one incident that occurred when we were driving either from or to Lambert, the St. Louis airport. I made a wrong turn, and we found ourselves on the bridge that goes across the river to East St. Louis, IL. I had no interest in taking a tour of that town. When there was a break in the traffic I jerked the rental car’s steering wheel to the left, made a clean U-turn and headed back to St. Louis. I think that this maneuver shocked Denise, at least a little.


I tried to find information on what became of the May Company employees mentioned in this entry. However, I was not able to find any information on the Internet about most of them. After a good bit of digging I found Dennis Wallace’s LinkedIn page, which is here. In 2022 he appeared to be working for a company in Houston that provides technical assistance to the hospitality industry.


1. All right, I never actually walked to G. Fox’s store in Enfield Square mall, but I could have.

2. The Hecht’s installation is described here.

3. The account of the installation for Foley’s is provided here.

4. The troubled AdDept installation at Filene’s has been documented here.

5. The Lord & Taylor installation is described here.

6. Doug and I made a strong pitch to Debra Edwards at May Ohio, but the division was eliminated before we could close the deal. That “whiff” is described here.

7. I think that Famous-Barr may have already committed to getting AdDept before Doug arrived on the scene, but their decision was probably made because of the May Company’s commitment to the project. The installation at Famous-Barr is described here.

2000-2002 TSI: AdDept Client: Meier & Frank

Department store division of the May Co. with headquarters in Portland, OR. Continue reading

Since 1932 M&F’s flagship store had occupied an entire block in downtown Portland.

Meier & Frank was a chain of departments stores owned by the May Company. Its headquarters was in Portland, OR. TSI never pitched the AdDept system to the store’s advertising department. In 1998 the May Company decided to order AdDept systems for the three department store divisions that were not already using it—Robinsons-May, Meier & Frank, and Filene’s.

M&F was by far the smallest of the May Company’s department store divisions. At the time of the installation it had only seven stores, which made it barely a quarter the size of the next smallest division.

These installations were quite different from the other systems that TSI had installed at May Co. divisions. They began with three days of rather intense sessions in TSI’s office in Enfield. We were teaching them about the system design of AdDept, and they were informing us about their policies and expectations for the system.

The previous May Co. installations began with a site visit in which I had learned about each department’s business procedures and priorities. TSI then presented a formal proposal for the base system and any custom code that I thought was needed. Only after the system had been delivered and installed did we provide training, and it took place at the company’s location.

At some point in 1996 a group of people from M&F visited TSI’s office for orientation and training. Those sessions were also attended by people who would be involved with the installation at Rob-May. Robert Myers, with whom we worked in the AdDept installation in the advertising department of the Foley’s division (described here), also was there to provide the perspective of a user of the system.

I found several photos that I took on the occasion of their visit as well as photos that I took in Portland. Since I was still using disposable cameras in those days, the quality of the prints is not great. I was lucky to have this much. On one trip I left a camera that was full of photos in my rental car. I called Avis on my next visit and learned that they had found the camera. They later mailed it to me.

The people: The photo at the left was taken after one of the training days in Enfield. On the last evening we all went to the Mill on the River restaurant, but I think that this photo might have been taken at a different place.

Robert Myers was seated next to me. In the photo he is on the far right. Three representatives of M&F are on the left. I am pretty sure that the guy with glasses was Brent Stapleton1, who managed the departmental network and was our liaison for the first part of the project. I do not remember the name of the fellow on his left, but I am pretty sure that his hobby was making root beer at home. He might have been Steve Mulligan, the Co-op Coordinator who moved to Ireland the following summer. I don’t remember the woman’s name or function, and I don’t recognize the next fellow. He might have been from Robinsons-May. None of these people appear in any of the photos that I took on my trips to Portland.

The last person on the left side of the table was definitely Doug Pease, TSI’s Marketing Director, who sat in on some of the training sessions. The other two people were from Rob-May and are described here.

The system was not actually installed at M&F until March of 2000. I think that they postponed it because Kaufmann’s and Rob-May were higher priorities.

The next five photos were taken at the department’s office on the thirteenth floor of the flagship store in Portland. The building had fifteen floors.

In the photo on the right, the seated woman was Dori Tierney2, who was responsible for scheduling M&F’s ads in the newspapers. She also produced the weekly calendar that was the primary document that was used by many people inside the department and out. The other woman was her boss, Sheila Wilson3, the Newspaper Manager. She formerly had worked at Hecht’s.

In the first year of the installation I worked with Dori more than anyone else because producing that calendar was the department’s first objective for the AdDept system.

I am almost certain that the woman surrounded by papers in the photo on the left was Kathy Reed, the Business Office Manager. One of her primary responsibilities was to produce at the end of the month the report of expenses and co-op income by CCN in the May Company’s required format, the so-called 790. AdDept produced this at all of the other divisions. We never succeeded at completely automating that process at M&F for reasons that are explained in the section about AdDept projects below.

I have no recollection of the people in the photo at right. Maybe I took this shot because they were both so photogenic.

Many of the people in the advertising department at M&F did their work on clunky old IBM PC’s. They complained that all of their machines were hand-me-downs from their counterparts at Robinsons-May in California.

I took the two photos shown above at the M&F office in Portland, OR. I do not remember the name or function of the woman on the left. The guy on the right was Bryan Kipp, the Planning Manager.

From searches on LinkedIn I discovered that the Broadcast Manager at the time was Shauna Thompson, and the Direct Mail Manager was Linda Farrington. I probably worked with both of them.


The first visit: A month or so after the training session in Enfield Doug Pease and I flew out to Portland so that I could install the TSI software on the AS/400 that IBM had delivered. We also met with several executives to make sure that we understood and could address the department’s priorities.

I was surprised to see that the entirety of eastern Oregon was essentially desolate, and the coast was so rugged as to be almost uninhabitable. The majority of Oregonians were concentrated in the cities along the Willamette River.

Multnomah falls is about 30 miles east of Portland on the Columbia River.

In those days it was much cheaper to fly on Saturday than on Sunday, and Doug and I did that on the first trip. I found among my M&F photos several of Mt. Hood and Multnomah Falls. On Sunday we took our rental car on a spin around the very scenic areas east of Portland. Kate Behart and I had also visited these sites on a sales trip to Fred Meyer4, another retailer based in Portland, a few years earlier.

Emily.

The Senior Vice-president of Marketing at M&F was Emily White5, whom Doug knew from when they both worked in the advertising department of the G. Fox department store chain in Hartford. She knew about TSI’s capabilities from her time at Macy’s West. The Advertising Director was Laura Rutenis6. I think that she had previously worked at Hecht’s.

On the first visit Doug and I spent quite a bit of time talking with Emily and Laura. They explained their difficulty as the smallest of the May Co. divisions. They had far fewer employees than the other divisions, but their stores had just as many selling departments, and they ran just as many ads (in fewer newspapers, of course), and they were expected to produce the same reports as all the other divisions.

The primary objective of the AdDept system would be to get the module for newspaper ads up and running as quickly as possible and to produce their weekly calendar in the format that they currently used. At the same time the quantitative and qualitative information for ads for all of the other media needed to be entered into the system so that all the expenses could be entered in AdDept (or imported from PC systems) and uploaded to the corporate accounting system. So, the remainder of the time on the first visit was spent familiarizing the employees with the programs for entering the data and showing them how to check their work.

The projects: I don’t remember much about most projects that we did for M&F. I am sure that the May Company wanted them to produce the 790 report using the AdDept system’s cost accounting programs. That would require them to enter (or upload from another source) all the expenses from every media. I am pretty sure that we reached the point at which all of the necessary data was in the system.

Nevertheless, AdDept never produced the 790 report at M&F because the department’s Business Office Manager had been fudging some of the allocations required by the May Co. The corporation’s internal auditor surely knew about this, but she had no assistants to help her in the Business Office, and it would not have been practical for her to implement all the required steps within the strict time restraints. I thought that it would be feasible for her to do it in AdDept, but I could understand why she did not want to commit to a process that she could never verify produced results that were consistent with her existing methods. Also, she was more confident that she could meet the deadline every month without using AdDept.

I definitely remember spending many hours working on the weekly advertising calendar, which was designed to be printed on a special Hewlett-Packard laser printer that the advertising department had purchased. It could handle very large forms. Printing from the AS/400 was ordinarily limited to text of at most 198 characters per line and a single non-proportional font, Courier New. So, it would not be easy to replicate what they were doing.

Every advertising department that we worked with produced a calendar that was the basis of communication with other departments and the brass. In every other case we had been able to convince them that what the AS/400 could produce in the usual way—with whatever changes they needed—would suffice. The alternative was for us to produce output files that could be downloaded to a PC and formatted for printing in Word, Excel, or other software, and a few chose that method. The people at M&F insisted that that was not good enough. They needed the calendar the way it currently looked and they did not want to take extra steps to provide it.

In order to produce the calendar that they required I decided to make use of research and coding involving PCL, the language that Hewlett-Packard’s printers used. Instead of creating “spooled files” that the AS/400 translated into PCL using its printer drivers, the program that I wrote for M&F created files of instructions that were sent directly to the printer. They bypassed the AS/400’s drivers because the files were already in the language that the printer understood.

This approach had the advantage of allowing the use of proportional fonts such as Ariel or Times Roman. It also allowed the use of simple graphics such as boxes, variable font weights and sizes, italics, bolding, etc. The end result was definitely more attractive, but the big advantage was that the format was already familiar to the executives from other departments to whom it was delivered. It could all fit on one page that included attractive fonts, boxes, and other things that no one ever saw on a computerized report in the nineties.

From TSI’s perspective there were, however, serious disadvantages to this kind of approach. None of the other people at TSI were even slightly familiar with PCL. On this project I wrote all of the code myself.

By 1998 I was generating only a fairly small percentage of the new code at TSI’s office. I spent the bulk of my time traveling to clients, installing new systems, training, writing up proposals for new systems, modules, and requests for custom programming. I also had important administrative obligations, including locating more appropriate offices for TSI.

I suppose that I could have asked Denise Bessette, TSI’s VP of Product Development to learn PCL 5 from the handbook that I had found somewhere, but there was no guarantee that we would ever use this technique again. Besides, time was of the essence, and she already had a lot on her plate. By far the fastest way to deliver the code was for me to do it. There definitely was too little time for me to teach her in a formal setting how it worked.

Also, as will become obvious, the logistics would not have worked if the programming “team” had more than one member. Denise did not want to travel more than necessary.

Another big disadvantage was that it took much longer to write code for the printer than to write reports that could be sent to the printer driver for translation. We had been using the AS/400 long enough that we had that process down pat.

Furthermore, because TSI did not have a printer that could handle the oversized form, there was no way to test the finished product in the office in Enfield. I had to write little programs that produced segments of the calendar, test them on an HP printer that we did have, and then write the code that stitched them together. Also, I could not even look at the output on the screen. I ended up delivering the code to M&F in person and testing it at their site with real data.

I should mention that Denise did not like this kind of cowboy coding at all. She thought that everything should go through the tried-and-true process.

Finally, if M&F had run into problems with the calendar when I was on the road—which I often was during that period—Denise and the programmers might have trouble isolating the cause.

In retrospect it might have made sense for me to decline this project. Someone from the May Company would probably have stepped in to help them find a reasonable substitute. However, I wanted a happy client, and I was quite sure that the people at M&F would not have been happy with anything less than what I did.

I did get the calendar program to work, and I do not remember them reporting problems with it after the first few days. I might have needed to make small changes to handle situations that they forgot to tell me about. That almost always happened.

According to my notes by February 25, 2000, things were going reasonably well:

So far I have not picked up specs for a lot of custom programming. I spent much of yesterday working on the calendar and the insertion orders. I finally got the calendar so that it is exactly the way they wanted it. The first faxed insertion order cut off the top ten lines of the page. I fixed it by rotating 270 degrees instead of 90. I can’t understand why that would make a difference. We also had a query class for the people who have some experience in working with AdDept.


Life in the M&F advertising department: In general the people in the department, like nearly everyone that I met from the May Co., were hard-working and enthusiastic about their jobs. They did feel that they were the parent company’s ugly step-child, and there were many things besides the outdated electronic equipment to bolster that feeling. For example, there were no restrooms on the thirteenth floor that the department occupied. The store’s selling floors certainly had very nice restrooms, and the employees were allowed to use them. However, that involved taking an elevator down from the thirteenth floor and back, which could add several minutes to the project.

The alternative was to climb the stairs up to the fourteenth floor. That floor must have had a purpose at one time, but by 1998 it was just a relatively empty area with plumbing. I found it sort of exciting to go up there. It was like being in someone else’s attic. You never could predict what had been put up there just to be out of the way.

I used the men’s room up there whenever I felt adventurous. It was quicker, and I had very low standards in those days. The picture on the right is surely worth a thousand words. There was only one stall in the men’s room, but it was almost never occupied even though, as you can see, the one urinal was permanently out of order. The sign on it helpfully advised “DON’T PEE HERE.” Someone had added a “K” to the verb.

I seem to recall that there was also a ladies’ room up there, but it did not get used much. At any rate I did not try to persuade anyone of the fair sex to take photos for me.

This was not the only unusual sight at M&F. Here is what I wrote on February 25, 2000:

Meier& Frank is a strange place. They have by far the worst facilities of any department store I have been in. I will try to take some photos today. One guy’s office is so small he can easily touch both walls at the same time. Several people are sitting in a former conference room. There is a pile of discarded computers in one hallway. Many places are dirty. One corner in the main part of the office had huge dust bunnies. It could not have been cleaned in months. Nevertheless, everyone seems in good spirits.

Most of my time in the the first few trips was spent with Dori. She had a small desk in a fairly large office that also held a lot of records and that big printer. Dori had one very peculiar trait, that she did not try to hide. She would verbally accompany her work with a softly spoken play-by-play: “I am walking over to the printer to get the schedule. Now I am getting last week’s schedule out of the file. Now I am taking them to …”

At the time I found it incredible that they would put up with this annoying behavior. In retrospect I think that I was too judgmental. She did her job, and they kept her isolated enough that she did not drive anyone else crazy.

I remember that for one visit they assigned me to work in a very small two-person office. I swear that it was so narrow that I could touch two parallel walls at the same time. I was put there because one of the occupants was on vacation. I found my temporary officemate quite funny. I remember that he had posted on the wall a cartoon of Beavis and Butthead talking about the newly elected team of Bush and Cheney. The balloons read “He said ‘Bush’, heh heh,” and “He said ‘Dick’, hee hee.”

In those days I drank a lot of Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi. I couldn’t tell the difference, but I could definitely tell if someone served me an off-brand. I happened to mention that I once tried to mix them. The guy with the cartoon solemnly warned me that that might not be legal.


I had completely forgotten about the following until I read it in my notes from February 23, 2000:

Brent got a call from someone from the May Company. Evidently they are considering getting new AS/400’s for both Meier & Frank and Filene’s because Dave Ostendorf told them that IBM is withdrawing support for the CISC systems.

Robinsons-May and Filene’s definitely got much faster systems, but I don’t think that M&F ever got an upgrade.


Life in and around Portland: I think that on our first visit Doug and I stayed in a Holiday Inn on the other side of the Willamette River. On later visits I think that I must have stayed somewhere closer to downtown. I ran nearly every day in those years, and I have a vivid recollection of running both through the streets of downtown Portland and in a large park along the Willamette River. I considered it very cool that the city allowed its citizens easy access to the riverfront. By contrast it was almost impossible to get from downtown Hartford to the banks of the Connecticut River on foot.

My memories of running in Portland are vivid and diverse, but I cannot remember being in a single restaurant or any other kind of store there. I think that I might have purchased lunch from a food truck or from a kiosk in the beautiful Pioneer Square, which was right across the street from M&F. I often saw a human statue there—a guy with silver clothes and makeup who posed in the square. In the above photo he is taking a break. I could not imagine a worse job than his.

Here are some tidbits that I wrote on June 12, 2000:

I often see strange things on the streets of Portland. Tuesday a pit bull was chained to a parking meter. It had a stick in its mouth. A guy was playing the “Lone Ranger” part of the overture from Rossini’s Guillaume Tell on a mandolin.

Someone from Salem Oregon stole over 300 lawn ornaments and decorated her lawn with them. She had hit houses in five counties.

I could park my rental car all day at a surface parking lot near the M&F store for a reasonable price if I arrived before the stores opened, which I always did. I also remember a building that had a huge octopus atop its front door, but I do not remember what was inside.

On the last few trips to M&F I stayed at a Homewood Suites hotel in Vancouver, WA. I selected it because it served free breakfasts and because it was fun to run along the mighty Columbia River.

The drive from the Homewood Suites to the M&F building, which was less than ten miles, was mostly on I5 and ordinarily took me only about fifteen minutes. If there was heavy traffic or an accident it might take twenty minutes, but I am pretty certain that I never spent as much as a half hour on the trip.

I remember that one of those evening runs was shortly after my tendinitis of the IT band had been diagnosed, and I had begun the prescribed exercise regimen. This outing was the first time that I had really tested how my knee had responded to the therapy.

I had to stop a couple of times because of the pain, but a thirty-second stretch allowed me to resume running. This was very encouraging to me because it indicated that the doctor’s diagnosis was accurate.


Epilogue: The M&F advertising department used AdDept up until 2002, at which time the division was folded into the Robinsons-May division of the May Co. The stores still carried the M&F logo until 2006.

The flagship store in Portland, which at the time carried the Macy’s logo, was closed in 2017. The structure is still relatively intact in 2022. The developers have posted a web page that describes its current state. You can view it here.

The principal occupant is a luxury hotel called The Nines, but several other businesses are located.there including a Japanese store called Muji.


1. Brent Stapleton’s LinkedIn page is here.

2. Dori Tierney’s Facebook page is here. When I looked she had three times as many friends as I had.

3. Sheila Wilson returned to Hecht’s after M&F was folded into Rob-May and then worked at Marshall Fields/Macy’s in Minneapolis. Her LinkedIn page is here.

4. My Fred Meyer adventures are chronicled here.

5. Emily White-Keating also appears in the entry on Macy’s West. Her LinkedIn page is here.

6. Laura Rutenis also returned to Hecht’s. Her LinkedIn page is here.

1994-2002 TSI: AdDept Client: Kaufmann’s

May Co. department store chain based in Pittsburgh. Continue reading

Kaufmann’s was a department-store division of the May Company. Its headquarters was in downtown Pittsburgh. It had stores throughout Pennsylvania and neighboring states. TSI was contacted in the spring of 1994 by Mary Ann Brown1, Kaufmann’s Advertising Director. I think that she probably heard of us from someone at either Hecht’s or Foley’s.

In May of 1994 Sue and I drove to Pittsburgh to meet with her. We made the trip by car primarily because we had very little money at the time. We also had scheduled a meeting in the same city with an ad agency, Blattner/Brunner Inc. That meeting and our subsequent visit to the Pittsburgh Zoo has been described here.

Our appointment at Kaufmann’s was scheduled for late in the afternoon, 5:00 as I remember it. We left Enfield fairly early in the morning. Sue, who in those days was famous for her lead foot, did most of the driving. We arrived at the outskirts of Pittsburgh about thirty minutes before the scheduled start of the meeting. At that point we encountered extremely heavy traffic. We were in unfamiliar territory, and, of course, cell phones were still a few years away. So, we arrived a few minutes late.

Mary Ann Brown.

The beginning of the meeting was rather tense. Mary Ann demanded to know why we were late and why we did not call to tell her we were going to be late. If TSI had not already developed a reputation for good work at Hecht’s and Foley’s, I think that she might have told us to reschedule or to forget about it.

Eventually she got down to business and informed us that the people in her department had developed a system for administering the department’s projects. They were satisfied with what it produced. However, they knew that it would not work in the twenty-first century, and they needed to make a decision about whether to rewrite it or replace it. I guaranteed her that AdDept would have no difficulty with the Y2K issue and explained how AdDept’s approach of a multi-user relational database worked. I do not remember meeting anyone else that day.

Sue and I stayed throughout the visit at a Holiday Inn (if my memory is accurate) a few miles north of downtown. We probably presented a demo at IBM the next day, but, if so, I don’t remember it. My recollection is that the entire event was amicable but not decisive.

René in her office.

For years Doug Pease, TSI’s sales person, stayed in frequent contact with Kaufmann’s. I think that Mary Ann must have spent the time arranging funding. My memory of the next trip to Pittsburgh centers around my meeting with René Conrad2 (female), who was the department’s Planning Manager, and John Borman3, who managed the department’s networks and its computer hardware. I don’t know if we had a signed contract yet, but by then they were definitely committed to installing AdDept. In fact the installation did not take place until May of 1998.

John Borman.

I had only limited contact with Mary Ann thereafter. I do remember that she joined René and me for lunch once, and she disclosed that she had for a very short time been (or at least had applied to be) an FBI agent. That was, to say the least, a surprising bit of news.

My first memory of René was her presentation to me of an absolutely enormous D-ring binder with a black cover. Collected therein were samples of all of the reports that they needed. She spent the rest of the day answering questions about the selection criteria and the precise definition of the contents of each column of each report. The bad news was that very few of the reports matched up closely with work that we had already done. The good news was that the design document that resulted from the meeting came closer to meeting the client’s expectation than any that we had produced or would produce later. René was our liaison at Kaufmann’s from the beginning all the way to the end, and she was a very good one.

John, René, and TSI programmer Steve Shaw in a training session in Enfield.

I did not need to spend much time with John. Once their new AS/400 was connected to their network, and I explained that the demand for bandwidth would be minimal since the system was totally text-based, he was satisfied. He took charge of getting the necessary software installed on Macs and PCs, and he connected the AS/400 to the department’s network.

I remember two experiences involving credit and debit cards on trips to Pittsburgh. In those days we kept our cash at Bank of America. The best thing about that was that if I needed cash on a trip I could almost always find a local branch with an ATM. I remember that once I used such a machine at the airport and forgot to reclaim my card when I was finished obtaining the cash. I don’t know what happened to the card after that, but nobody else ever tried to use it.

The William Penn is now an Omni hotel.

For my first couple of installation and support trips, Kaufmann’s asked me to stay at the William Penn Hotel, which was only a block or so from Kaufmann’s. I sometimes arrived in Pittsburgh late in the evening. On one of those occasions some sort of event must have been going on downtown. In the lobby of the William Penn there were unexpected lines of people waiting to check in. In those days it was possible to make a hotel reservation without providing a credit card number. Several people in line had discovered that doing so did not mean that a room would necessarily be available when they arrived. There were a lot of angry people there that evening. Fortunately, I had already heard about this problem, which had been perfectly explained by Jerry Seinfeld with regard to rental cars. You can listen to it here.

The gilded clock on the corner of Fifth Ave. and Smithfield St. is still a landmark.

I usually brought an unusually large bright-blue suitcase with me to Pittsburgh. Because I sometimes had trouble sleeping when I traveled I often include the foam rubber pillow that I found much more comfortable than the soft feather pillows that old stately hotels favored. One day after working at Kaufmann’s I was unable to find the pillow in my hotel room. Evidently the maid had confiscated it. I complained at the desk, and they eventually located it and returned to me.

It was nice having such an identifiable suitcase. On an early-morning US Airways flight on July 25, 1999, from Bradley to the Pittsburgh airport that served as a hub. I was the only passenger who checked a bag to Pittsburgh. I went to the carousel listed for my flight. No bags ever appeared. I was worried that the bag had not been removed from the plane. Here is what I wrote about the incident in my notes:

When I got into Pittsburgh, my bag was missing. I went to the baggage office. They had no record of my bag. I had seen them put it on the plane and take it off. I told her [the baggage agent] so. She went to look for it and found it. She said the tag had come off. I can’t imagine how this happened. But guess what. I didn’t get angry through any of this.

Dr. Sonnen.

While staying at at the William Penn I experienced one of the worst incidents that I ever encountered in my trips to see clients or prospects. I was suffering from the only disease that I contracted in all the years that I traveled extensively. Throughout the visit I was constantly running a low-grade fever and had a few other annoying but not debilitating symptoms. I soldiered on, and I somehow got everything accomplished that was on my list. When I returned home I went to my doctor, Victor Sonnen4. He gave me a blood test and eventually diagnosed the problem as a urinary infection. Some antibiotics knocked it out.

I did not really like staying at the William Penn. I could get to Kaufmann’s in two minutes, but this was not a great advantage from my perspective. I was always up early, and there was nowhere very close that served breakfast. I could eat in the hotel, but I have always found that hotel food was not very good and terribly overpriced. The evening meals posed a similar problem. I won’t go to a swanky place by myself. The only restaurant within walking distance that I liked was a Chinese takeout place.

In later years I stayed at a Hampton Inn in the Greentree section of town on the south side of the Ohio River. I loved the free breakfast bars at Hampton Inns, and this one sometimes served tasty snacks such as pizza or chicken wings that were good enough to serve as a supper in the evening. The only drawback was that there was nowhere that was reasonably flat to go for a jog. If you live in Pittsburgh, you must learn to like hills.

Maggie Pratt.

On two occasions I went to supper with René and her assistant, Maggie Pratt5. Since they both took the bus to work, I drove us in my rental car. They directed me to small restaurants that they knew near the University of Pittsburgh. I don’t remember the food that well, but I do remember that dining alone on the road is not a hard habit to break.

One thing that I remember clearly was that René suffered from migraine headaches. When she got one she still tried to work, but it was obvious that she was in considerable torment.

René volunteered as an usher at the Pittsburgh Opera. In the 1999-2000 season Verdi’s La Traviata was performed. In the last act the heroine, Violetta, who has been suffering from consumption (tuberculosis) dies. René did not like this part of the opera at all. It seemed to long to her: “She should just die and get it over with!” I did not dispute this assessment, but I find parts of other operas to be much more tedious.

Luxury apartments occupy most of the upper floors of Kaufmann’s flagship store now. Target is scheduled to open a store on one or two low floors. There is now a skating rink on the roof!

Kaufmann’s advertising department was on one of the top floors of the flagship store on Fifth Avenue in Pittsburgh. The most peculiar thing about it became evident when one needed to use the men’s room. One was located on the same floor as the advertising department, but the only way to reach it was to walk through the beauty salon. I did not feel at all comfortable doing that. Therefore, I took the escalator up to the top floor, the home of the bakery. This restroom was a little farther away, but I found the atmosphere much more pleasant.


Everyone at TSI worked very hard on the programming projects for Kaufmann’s. The people there were uniformly supportive, and everyone seemed pretty good at what they did. I am embarrassed to say that I don’t remember the names of any of the media managers. The name Debi Katich is in my notes from 1999. I think that she was the Direct Mail Manager, but I may be wrong.

I do not remember the name of the Senior VP (Mary Ann’s boss) at the time of the installation. As I recall, he let Mary Ann pretty much run things. I definitely do remember the name of his replacement in 1999, Jack Mullen6, who had been Doug’s boss (or maybe his boss’s boss) at G. Fox in Hartford.


Always on sale somewhere.

I also do not remember too many details of the code that we provided for them. The detail about newspaper ads that I recall most clearly is that the store’s contract with the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette provided for significant discounts if they ran several full-page ads in the same issue. It was like buying two-liter bottles of Coke or Pepsi. The first three ads might cost $X but once the fourth ad was ordered, the price on all of them changed to $Y for all four ads. This was not easy to code because individual ads could be added, deleted, or moved (to another date) at any time. Also, the size could change. Any of these events could change the rate for all the other full-page ads in the paper that day. Not only did the rates and costs for all the affected ads need to be changed, but history records were also necessary.

Kaufmann’s used AdDept for keeping track of all of its advertising. They even uploaded their broadcast buys from the SmartPlus system that they used.


In 2000 Kaufmann’s was an enthusiastic supporter of the implementation of the AxN project. Several people offered the opinion that the newspapers would never pay for subscribing to the service. Mary Ann did not agree. She said, “They’ll subscribe if we tell them to.” I visited three of Kaufmann’s largest papers to explain what we planned to do and to solicit suggestions. When I mentioned that I was meeting with the IT director at the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, John Borman confided to me, “I want his job.”


In 2002, the Kaufmann’s stores’ Pittsburgh business headquarters closed, and its back-office operations were consolidated into those of Filene’s Department Stores in Boston. The consolidation was probably inevitable, but everyone at TSI would have greatly preferred for the new managing entity to be located in Pittsburgh.


1. In 1921 Mary Ann Brown is the Administrative Manager at her alma mater, the University of Pittsburgh. Her LinkedIn page is here. I don’t know why she left her role at Kaufmann’s off of her résumé.

René on LinkedIn.

2. René Conrad’s LinkedIn page is here. After the May Company folded the Kaufmann’s division into Filene’s in 2002 I tried to get René to work for TSI. She was interested enough to pay us a visit in East Windsor, but she turned down our offer. Instead she went to work for a theatrical company in an administrative role. We stayed in touch for a few years, but I had not heard from her for more than a decade. However, she recently sent me an email in which she confessed that she owed me a book.

3. John Borman’s LinkedIn page is here.

4. Dr. Sonnen died in 2010 at the age of 96. He was certainly in his eighties when he treated me. His obituary is posted here.

5. I am pretty sure that Maggie Pratt’s LinkedIn page is here.

6. Jack Mullen’s LinkedIn page is here.

1972-1974 Connecticut: Sports

Athletic activities in the Hartford area: basketball, golf, etc. Continue reading

Swimming: The apartment building in which I lived in East Hartford had an outdoor swimming pool. I brought a bathing suit with me to Connecticut, and I spent some pleasurable hours sitting next to the pool. I may have also entered the water for short periods once or twice.

Basketball: Tom Herget and Tom Corcoran had discovered that pickup basketball games were often held on the asphalt court near Batchelder School. After I had been working for a week or so, they invited me to join them. At first I demurred, but Herget was very good at shaming people into joining the fun. A bunch of us played there on a regular basis.

Batchelder School still exists, but the basketball court seems to be gone.

It was a good court. We played a full-court game without a ref. The court was neither as long nor as wide as a regulation court, but it was quite adequate for a three-on-three or four-on-four game. The rims were regulation-height and quite sturdy.

Sometimes so many guys were there that we had two one-basket games. As often as we could, we played full-court.

Guys would come and go. The teams were fluid. I think that we kept score, but no one cared who won. There were arguments about fouls, of course, but I can’t remember anyone getting upset enough to do anything about it.

I can’t remember the names of any of the players except for people from the Hartford. Here are my most vivid recollections:

  • A guy who played with us all the time had a unique shot. He was only 5’8″ or so, and he was not very mobile. If he got open, however, he would quickly bring the ball up over his head and launch a shot with virtually no arc that just cleared the front of the rim. When the ball made contact with the back of the rim it almost always dove straight down into the net. This was due to the fact that he somehow imparted an enormous amount of backspin to his shot. I was a great admirer of his shot; my attempts to emulate it were failures.
  • Herget also had a devilish shot. He liked to drive right into an opponent’s chest and then scoop the ball underhand toward the basket behind the opponent’s back. He beat me with this maneuver many times even after Tom Corcoran showed me how to defend it—by keeping one’s own arms down and once he started the scoop just placing the hand on that side on top of the ball. Herget usually passed the ball away if Corcoran was guarding him.
  • A couple of times an Emergency Medical Technician played with us a few times while he was on duty. He parked his vehicle near the court and left the radio on. I don’t think that he ever got any calls while he was playing. I wonder what he would have been doing if he wasn’t playing with us.
  • I remember one magical day in 1974 when, for some strange reason, I could do no wrong on the court. On most days I missed three or four shots for every one that I made, but on the magical day my shooting percentage was certainly in the eighties or nineties. I got several rebounds and made some good defensive plays, too. It never happened again.
  • Several times opponents—to their regret—brushed up against my very sharp elbows or knees. Once a guy’s thigh hit my knee harder than usual. I barely felt it, but he stopped playing and, as I recall, just limped to his car and drove home.
  • One day in late May or June of 1974 we were playing a full-court game. I had the ball, and I was running at a good speed and dribbling while looking for an open teammate. Somehow I slipped or tripped and fell forward. I landed on the heels of my hand, but the top of my right knee hit the pavement about as hard as one might knock on a door. I cried out in pain, but when I rolled up the leg of my pants to unveil a small scratch, I was ridiculed by the other guys for stopping the game. I played for a few more minutes, but then my knee gave out, and I limped to Greenie and drove home. That was my last game at Batchelder.

On the way home I had to stop to buy something for supper, cauliflower I think. By the time that I reached the apartment in Andover in which I was living my knee was so swollen that it looked like a cantaloupe was stuffed in my jeans. Sue Comparetto somehow brought me to a doctor whose name I don’t remember. He took X-rays and determined that my patella (kneecap to you) had broken into several pieces. The largest one could stay, but the others needed to be surgically removed.

Hospital

An ambulance took me to the Windham Community Memorial Hospital in Willimantic. I was assigned to a room with three older men, all of whom were there for hernia operations. One at a time, they each went to the OR before I did. The scenes were similar. The anesthetic was administered. The patient counted backward from 100. The first two were out buy 97. The third guy, however, was down into the seventies when they told him he could stop. I am not sure how they ever knocked him out. Maybe they just gave him something to stick between his teeth.

I, who have a mortal dread of needles, was much more apprehensive about the injection of the anesthetic than of the carving of my leg. They gave me the shot, and the next thing that I knew was that I was back in the room with a cast on my leg. The surgeon came to see me a little later. He asked me to lift the leg. I couldn’t do it. He said that I could not leave until I could lift it by myself.

In the day or two it took me to find those muscles again I had a few visitors. I am sure that Sue came. So did Jim and Ann Cochran.

I had a view of downtown Willy from my bed. I could either see a sign for Kentucky Fried Chicken of one of the colonel’s stores. In either case it gave me a strong incentive to raise my leg. I really wanted some fried chicken. I was released before any of the hernia guys.

My injury had a good side and a bad side. The benefit was immediate. I had been called up for summer camp by the Army Reserve. I called the phone number on the notice to report that I had broken my kneecap and could not come. The guy who answered—I took down his name, but I don’t remember it—assured me that I did not need to come. Since 1974 was the last year that I was eligible, I never had to atten reserve camp. I was not dreading the duty, but I did not want to return to work at the Hartford with a military haircut.

The bad side was that the surgeon missed one small piece of bone, and it eventually adhered to my femur. It did not bother me much for twenty-five years, but in 1999 I was diagnosed with tendinitis of the IT band. The doctor attributed it to that tiny piece of my patella. Some stretching exercises made the condition manageable, but in 2017 I got arthritis in that knee. This in turn has made it more difficult to keep the IT band from bunching up. I am not complaining. I have averaged walking five miles per day in the ten months starting in March of 2020, but I need to do a lot more stretching.


Golf: I started playing golf with John Sigler late in the summer of 1972. We played together every chance that we got, and we tried nearly every public course in the area. He was better than I was at every aspect of the game, but I enjoyed our outings together immensely. In 1973 we even took off many Wednesdays during the summer to play golf.

TPC

On one of those days in the summer of 1973 we drove down to Cromwell to play the Edgewood Golf Club. The layout was later redone to suit the pros, and the name was changed to TPC River Highlands. It was the most difficult course that I had ever played then, and they made it much tougher when they made it a Tournament Players Championship course in the eighties.

Aerial view of Black Birch Golf Club.
Aerial view of Black Birch Golf Club.

In 1973 John and I also played together at the annual outing of the Actuarial Club of Hartford in Moodus, CT. I did not remember the name of the course, but the only one in Moodus seems to be Black Birch Golf Club. It was a miserable day for golf—or anything else. The rain started halfway through our round, and it was also very windy. I seem to remember that John played well enough to win a dozen Titleists. I think that I won three Club Specials as a kind of booby prize. The highlight of the round for me was watching Mike Swiecicki ride merrily around in a cart and swatting at his ball with little care about the results. I also enjoyed playing bridge with John and a cigar-smoking Tom Corcoran. I don’t remember who was our fourth.

At some point John and I added Norm Newfield and Bill Mustard to our golfing group. Norm, who was a star quarterback and pitcher at Central Connecticut and the Navy1, worked in the Personnel Department. I think that Bill worked in the IT Department. Norm was a big hitter, and Bill was an absolute beast, but neither of them could control the ball’s flight like John could. I was definitely the wimp in this foursome. Most of the time we played at Tallwood in Hebron.

Minn

In 1974 John and I signed up to play in the Hartford’s golf league. The nine-hole matches were on Fridays at Minnechaug Golf Course in Glastonbury. I have always been better at team sports than individual ones, and it proved true again. Of course, John always played against the opponent’s better player. Still, we played seven or eight matches, and I tied won and won the rest. We were in first place in the league with only one or two matches remaining when I broke my kneecap. Our proudest achievement was defeating Norm and his partner, whose name was, I think, Bill Something. He probably worked in HR with Norm.

I remember one match pretty clearly. We were playing against two guys whom we did not know at all. I think that I had to give up six strokes, and John had to give up seven in only nine holes. John’s opponent had a new set of really nice-looking clubs. My opponent was from India, or at least his parents were. When I told this story to friends I usually called him “The Perfect Master”. We were afraid of a setup. Because of the handicap differentials, if they played at all well, we would have no chance.

On the first tee John’s opponent exhibited a monstrous slice, but the ball stayed in play. My opponent then hit the shortest drive I have ever seen. He did not whiff, but the impact was much less than Lou Aiello’s swinging bunt (described here). The ball stayed in the tee box less than a foot in front of his left shoe.

Minn8

Neither John nor I could take the match seriously after that. We both played worse than we would have thought possible. Going into the eighth hole, the match was in serious jeopardy. However, the eighth, a short island hole, was always good to us. We both put our iron shots on the green. The opponents both plunked their tee shots into the water. The last hole cinched all three points for us when both of our opponents found the water again. We survived our worst match ever and, of course, enjoyed a beer afterwards.

Jim Cochran stepped in to take my place for the last few matches. Alas, John and Jim lost the championship match.

Buena Vista's swank clubhouse.
Buena Vista’s swank clubhouse.

There was one other interesting golf adventure. Tom Herget arranged for John, Tom Corcoran, and I to join him for nine holes at the Buena Vista Golf Course in West Hartford. Par for this course is only 31 or 32. It is much easier than Minnechaug.

Herget evidently wanted to try out the golf clubs that he had purchased (or perhaps found in an alley) somewhere. They were at least six inches too short for him, and he is not tall. When he went to hit the ball, his hands were at knee level. Danny Devito is too tall for these clubs.

The round itself produced few memories. I do not remember the scores, but I do remember that Sigler shot in the thirties, I scored in the forties, Corcoran in the fifties, and Herget in the sixties.

Baseball/Softball: I remember that several of us drove up to Fenway for a game between the Red Sox and the Yankees. Somehow we got box seats in the upper deck right even with third base. I have been to games in four or five stadiums. This was by far my best experience. I remember eating peanuts, drinking beer, and yelling at the players and coaches. We were unbelievably close to them. It was more intimate than a Little League game.

Dick Howser was third base coach for the Yankees for ten years!
Dick Howser was third base coach for the Yankees for ten years!

I channeled my inner Bob Anderson to loudly rebuke New York’s third-base coach, Dick Howser2, for mistakenly waving a runner home. He actually looked up at us. I remembered him as a so-so shortstop (after his promising rookie season) for the KC A’s. He had a goofy batting stance with his legs spread wide and his head about four feet off the ground.

I later felt a little guilty about my boorish conduct at Fenway when he became the Royals’ manager and in 1985 guided them to the my home town’s only World Series win. One must understand that people who grew up in KC in the fifties and sixties REALLY hate the Yankees.

I remember going to watch Patti Lewonczyk play softball a couple of times. I do not recall whether the Hartford had a team in a city-wide league or an entire league of teams like the men’s. Patti was a good hitter, and she did not throw like a girl. I am pretty sure that Sue took photos on at least one occasion, but I don’t know where they are, and I dasn’t ask.

Schaefer

Football: On September 23, 1973, a group of us went to a football game between the Patriots and the Chiefs at Schaefer3 Stadium in Foxborough. I could not believe what a dump the place was. I don’t remember any details. The game was a real snoozer. The Chiefs held the Pats to only one touchdown, but they only scored ten points themselves, which was enough for a W. After that one magic season in 1969-70, the Chiefs quickly became an also-ran team for the next five decades!

I also attended several college games. The most entertaining one was on October 20, 1973. I rode to Providence in Tom Corcora’s Volkswagen for the game between Brown and Dartmouth. Dartmouth entered the game with an 0-3 record, but they beat the Bears 28-16. The Big Green went on to win all the rest of their its (their?) games that year. Brown finished 4-3-1, which was very good for Brown teams of that era.

I guess you could see the band’s formations from the Brown side. We were in the visitor’s bleachers.

The game was fairly interesting. There were no NFL prospects, but the Ivy League schools were famous for their trick plays. That is my kind of football.

Even more interesting was the rascally atmosphere that shocking for a deadly serious Michigan fan to experience. For example, one guy in the stands had brought a keg of beer as a date. The keg was wearing a dress and a blonde wig. This would never happen at Michigan Stadium. Alcohol was strictly forbidden at the games, and seats were precious possessions; nobody got two.

Dartmouth had never had an official mascot, but for decades most people called them the Indians. In 1972 the Alumni Association advised against this in favor of another nickname, the Big Green. The teams embraced this, but a set of alternate cheerleaders attended this game. They sat in the stands and wore identity-concealing costumes. One was a gorilla; I don’t remember the others, but none were Indians. Whenever the official cheerleaders finished a cheer for the Big Green, the alt-leaders rushed to the sidelines to lead the same cheer for the Indians. This went on without objection. It did not seem strange to anyone but me.

They wore turtlenecks when we saw them.

The Brown band played at halftime. Their uniforms were brown turtlenecks. Most people wore nondescript pants, but several had evidently played for the soccer or rugby team that morning. Their legs were muddy, and they wore shorts. A few of them also had comical hats.

The band formed itself into various formations, but our seats were too low to make sense of them. The stadium was not big. I doubt that many people could decipher them. The band members just ran to their spots for each formation. They did not march in the orderly fashion that I was used to. I think that the primary purpose of the entertainment was to make fun of Dartmouth.

This is the only picture I could find of Eric Torkelson in a UConn uniform.
This is the only picture I could find of Eric Torkelson in a UConn uniform.

The very next Saturday I drove to Storrs by myself to watch a game between UMass and UConn. Both at the time were 1AA schools and members of the Yankee Conference. I did not know exactly where the stadium was. I expect to see crowds of people walking toward the stadium. After all, this was their rivalry game. UMass had won last year, but UConn had a pretty good team in 1973. The star, as I remember, was fullback Eric Torkelson4. The conference championship was on the line. The weather was beautiful.

In fact, however, two-thirds of the seat were empty. Very few students showed up. The closest people to me were a guy and his young son. UConn won 28-7 and won the conference championship.

I also tried to play a little flag football. I bought some cleats at G. Fox in downtown Hartford. Norm Newfield was on a team in New Britain. Tom Herget and I went to their tryouts. I played pretty well; I caught every pass that I got a hand on. However, they were looking for blockers and rushers, and I did not fit their plans. Tom did.

I went to several of their games. Once I ended up sitting with Mel, Tom’s girlfriend at the time. I soon discovered that she knew surprising little about football. I explained about the first-down yardage markers and what Tom’s role was on every play. I was just mansplaining, but she seemed to appreciate it.

I played in one pickup game with Tom and some of his acquaintances. It might have been on a field near Batchelder School. Because no one could guard me when I wore my cleats, I had to take them off and play in sneakers.

I watched college football on television every Saturday. In those days I could even bear to watch when Michigan was playing. Jan Pollnow invited me over to his house to watch the Wolverines one Saturday. Michigan won easily. The Big Ten was then better known as the Big Two and the Little Eight.

I felt a little uneasy at his house, as I did the time in Romulus, NY, when the lieutenant in the Intelligence Office had me over for dinner.

Tennis: I brought my tennis racket with me from KC, and I actually played one game of tennis. It was on Saturday, August 18, 1973. My opponent was Jim Kreidler. I was “under the weather” from overindulgence on my twenty-fifth birthday the night before. Nevertheless, I was ahead in the match by a game or two when Jim twisted his ankle.

See? People do this.
See? People do this.

He wanted to quit. I argued that we should continue the match. I would not require him to stand on his ankle. He could just sit there and wave at the ball with his racket. I would retrieve all the shots on both sides of the net. We could probably finish in a half hour or less.

He stubbornly refused this most generous offer. So, I fear that I must report that I have never actually won a tennis match.

In New England there are three types of bowling.

Bowling: At least once I went duckpin bowling with Tom Corcoran and Patti Lewonczyk. It does not feel at all like tenpin bowling, and I have no idea what it takes to be a good duckpin bowler. It seemed like you just grabbed any old ball and let it fly.

On TV I also watched candlepin bowling from Springfield. In this version you get three shots, not two, and they do not sweep away the toppled pins until the third ball has been rolled. So, you can use your “wood” to help pick up spares. I never tried this version.


1. Norm is in CCSU’s Hall of Fame. His page is here. In 2021 his FaceBook page says that he lives in Winsted, CT.

2. Dick Howser died in 1987 of a brain tumor only two years after managing the World Series winners and one year after managing the winners of the All-Star game.

3. Schaefer was a popular beer in the northeast in the seventies. Its slogan was “Schaefer is the one beer to have if you’re having more than one.” No one that I knew liked it. We reformulated it to “Schaefer is the one beer to have if you’ve alreadh had more than one.”

4. Torkelson, although not drafted until the eleventh round, played seven seasons for the Green Bay Packers.