Tag Archives: Alexander VI

1965-1966 Rockhurst High: Senior Year Speech Team

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The quest for the Double Ruby. Continue reading →

Double_RubyBefore my senior year at Rockhurst I had paid little attention to the NFL (National Forensics League, renamed in 2014 as the National Speech and Debate Association). The school had long sponsored a chapter of the league, and our results from tournaments were always sent to the NFL headquarters. Debaters all had NFL pins, and most guys wore them to competitions. The inlaid gem(s) indicated ranking in terms of points accumulated. The highest rank at the time was double-ruby, which indicated 500 points earned. Points were awarded for debates, rounds in speech events, and miscellaneous speaking events, including the state’s annual student congress. The maximum number of points in each category was limited.

This method of scoring suited my style perfectly. I participated more and in more varied events than anyone else on the team. My results had not been stellar, but early in the year I calculated that I could possibly amass 500 points by the end of senior year. It seemed like a reasonable goal, but it meant going to a lot of tournaments and other events. I decided to go for it.

Our NFL chapter elected a president and vice-president every year. My recollection is that Bill Locke was elected president, and I was vice-president. Since Bill was playing football during the tournament that Rockhurst sponsored each fall, it was my responsibility to “run it”. I don’t remember that I actually did much. Mr. Marchlewski and Mr. Rothermich did most of the preparation and tabulation of results. I might have arranged for timekeepers or something like that. At any rate, everything seemed to go pretty smoothly.

The NFL at that time awarded trophies to schools that had amassed a large number of points over the years. It just happened that Rockhurst won the trophy my senior year. Bruno Jacob himself, the founder and patriarch of the NFL, paid us a visit. All of the students assembled in the gym for his presentation of the award. I was chosen as master of ceremonies.

Bruno E. Jacob died in 1979.

Bruno E. Jacob died in 1979.

The students were seated in the bleachers on either side. A lectern with a microphone was placed halfway between one of the basketball goals and midcourt. A wire ran from the lectern back to a corner of the gym. Mr. Jacob, myself, and some faculty members were seated in folding chairs behind the lectern. I have no idea who was responsible for the setup. I had never been involved with one of the assemblies.

The microphone did not work, and no one seemed available to fix it. I went on without it, and I think that I did a pretty good job of projecting my voice. However, I could hardly hear Mr. Jacob’s presentation at all, and I was only a few yards away from him. So, most of the students probably had no idea what he said. It was not memorable enough to last for in my brain for fifty-five years either.

Since Bill Locke was busy on the gridiron, I got to debate with John Williams for the first few months. We did exceptionally well together, winning almost all our debates. However, when Bill came back, he was paired with John again, as he should have been.

I am pretty sure that I had participated in the annual student congress event in my junior year at the RLDS headquarters in Independence. I had been very active and won a lot of NFL points.

I think that the congress in my senior year was held at the state capital in Jefferson City. I was somehow chosen to give the prayer to open the session. For a second my mind went blank (for the first and only time ever in a public speech), but I recovered and said what I intended. I did not take the advice of a student from St. Louis University High (another Jesuit school) to start the prayer with “Almighty God, if you exist, …”

HRepsI worked pretty hard preparing for all of the bills, and I received high marks from the judges in the first session. I was selected to chair the second session. I was surprised to discover that the first chairman had not made a seating map. I made one for myself so that I could fairly allow people to participate. Even so, the coach from (I think) Fort Osage High School interrupted the session and humiliated me by insisting that I call on people whom he designated. That soured the experience for me, but I still won quite a few NFL points.

Lindsay

John Lindsay.

My best moment almost occurred in the finals of the extemp event at a tournament in senior year. I don’t remember which one. In extemp you draw three topics, select one, and then spend 30-45 minutes crafting a speech on the topic. I think that the time limit was 5-7 minutes. My topic was whether the Republican Party was doomed after the Goldwater fiasco of 1964. I argued that the party would bounce back because of some younger people like John Lindsay, Chuck Percy, and a couple of others whom I can’t remember. Two of the three judges ranked me first, but the other judge, who said that he was a Republican himself, claimed that my speech was too obviously biased in favor of the GOP. So, I lost out to a guy who got a first, a second, and a third.

Incidentally, both of my parents were Democrats. My dad told me that in 1948 he went into the voting booth intending to vote for Dewey, but he couldn’t do it. I have never even considered voting for a Republican, and I had several chances to vote for Lowell Weicker, who was very popular in Connecticut.

He might have said it.

He might have said it.

I started doing better in extemp because of some advice from a fellow extemper from Parkview High in Springfield. I noticed that he spent no time researching his speeches and little time writing or rehearsing. He explained that he mostly made up the facts that he cited and that he usually started his speeches with “Wasn’t it Coleridge who said …?” He insisted that this was kosher. “I didn’t say that Coleridge said that; I merely posed the question.”

I was too much of a Boy Scout to do that. However, I did lighten up a little. Once, in a tournament at St. Paul’s in Concordia, MO, I was in a bind. The guy who selected the topics wanted to make life miserable for extempers. The three that I chose included one on fashion, one on a relaxation technique, and one on the effect of the Papal Line of Demarcation of 1493 on Latin American politics.

Actually, there were two lines.

Actually, there were two lines.

I had heard of the last one—the pope ceded the east to Portugal and the west to Spain. However, at that point in my life I did not know the pope’s name. I knew a few pope’s names that were fairly common; so I just called him Pope Urban.1 I argued that Portugal was too weak to control its properties for very long, and Spain was likewise unable to control its more distant properties. So, in the end all of South America was susceptible to foreign influences. In the sixties that opened the door to Communism. I had no evidence whatever to make that claim, but at the time it seemed like something that Time or Newsweek might say.

I finished second in the round, which earned some NFL points. That was a lot better than I would have done talking about fashion.

In the NFL state tournament I got to the semifinals in extemp. I didn’t expect to win, but my goal was to make the finals. I did make the finals of another unusual event, oratorical declamation. The idea was to deliver a speech that someone else had given. It wasn’t my cup of tea, but it gave me a chance to compete in another event. I picked a translation of a speech from the French revolution.

I made the finals, and so did Tom Mulhern. They announced me as finishing third, for which I won a trophy. When I looked over the results I realized that the tabulation room had gotten confused. Actually, Mulhern was third. I mentioned this to Mr. Rothermich on the ride back to KC, and he sternly told me to shut up about it. I did, but I would have preferred to let Tom know that his work was appreciated.

It was a near thing, but I won enough points to get the double-ruby pin. Pat Dobel, John Immele, John Williams, and Bill Locke repeated as champions of the state debate tournament.

Al61. The line was actually drawn by Pope Alexander VI, the notorious second Borgia pope, in 1493. It was redrawn in a peace treaty the next year. You can read about this and Papa Borgia’s other tricks here. That thing on his head is a tiara, which was the official headgear of popes up until Paul VI set it aside in the twentieth century.

Me and Karl Pierson

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Shotguns and debate are a deadly combination. Continue reading →

As details of the backstory of Karl Pierson, the eighteen-year old who brought a shotgun (as well as a machete and some Molotov Cocktails) to Arapahoe High School, are slowly released by the media, memories of my own teenage experiences have flooded my consciousness. Yesterday a television station in Denver reported that the target of his assault was his debate coach, who was also, apparently, the school’s librarian. Today a newspaper in Oregon reported that Karl had evidently just been kicked off of the team. It also said that he had qualified for and participated in the national tournament of the National Forensics League last year in extemporaneous speaking. He must have been pretty good. Only the best in each state make it to the NFL nationals.

I debated for all four years of high school. I have very vivid memories of that period. As a freshman my partner and I won our first debate against two girls from (now defunct) Lillis High School. Actually, he won the debate, or maybe the other team lost. I was so nervous that I could literally hear my knees knocking together; I doubt that I said anything that advanced our cause much. I then proceeded to lose fourteen debates in a row. Two of those debates especially stand out.

For some reason the coach sent my partner and me to a six-round varsity tournament at Smith-Cotton High in Sedalia, MO. We dropped the first five rounds. The sadists who were running the tournament then pitted us against a pair from William Chrisman High in Independence, MO. These guys were not only 5-0, but they were also the defending state champions. I vividly remember being cross-examined by one of our opponents. He tied me in knots so badly that I punted and said that my partner would explain any apparent contradictions. I may have also admitted to kidnapping the Lindbergh baby. Needless to say, this performance did not enhance my partner’s assessment of my abilities.

In the other memorable round I thought that I had single-handedly defeated and, in fact, humiliated the other team. One of the members of the opposition had quoted Hugh Hefner without giving his qualifications. As the most mature member of our team, I was the one who based his entire attack on the opponent’s case on the fact that Mr. Hefner was the publisher of a naughty magazine. Frankly, I was quite certain that the offending speaker would certainly have forfeited any claim to the debate. I was not positive that he would be banned from participating in the rest of the tournament, but I assumed that some form of severe punishment was definitely in order. It never occurred to me that ignoring his other arguments might not be a wise tactic. I mean, Hugh Hefner!

I got better eventually, but I never made it to the national tournament. In fact, the only time that I was ever even on one of the top two teams at my high school was during football season of my senior year. Unfortunately for me, you see, four guys from my class (including one football player!) won the state debate tournament as juniors. I was the fifth man during both of my last two years, but I had no chance of attending the state debate tournament.

I also competed in extemp, Pierson’s specialty. In my senior year I did fairly well in that event, and I made it to the finals of the state tournament. Even then, however, I did not come close to qualifying for the nationals.

I remember having an epiphany in the preparation (they gave you a half hour or so to research and write your speech after you were given the topic) for that event at a lesser tournament. A guy from Parkview High School in Springfield, MO, confided that he usually started his speeches with a bogus quote: “Was it Coleridge who said … ?” He filled in the ellipsis with something poetic, pertinent, and British-sounding. He claimed that this was OK because he never said that Coleridge actually said anything; he just posed the question.

I was much too scrupulous to resort to this tactic. However he did inspire me to make up a pope’s name once when I had to give a speech on the effect of the papal decree of some year on modern Latin American politics. I asserted that Pope Urban had split Latin America between Spain and Portugal. I half-expected to be struck down by lightning as I was speaking or to be challenged by the judge or timekeeper, but I actually scored pretty well. (I later learned that the author of the Line of Demarcation was Pope Alexander VI, the head of the Borgia clan at the end of the fifteenth century.) I never had the chutzpah to make anything up again.

I was in debate for fifteen years. I never heard of anyone getting kicked off of my team or any other. The closest that I ever came was when Mr. Rothermick, S.J., gave me a detention for shooting imaginary baskets with my rolled-up stocking cap. If I had been kicked off of the team, I doubt that I would have walked home (I certainly had no car) and taken up my shotgun in order to exact vengeance. I would have reasoned that even if this offense did not merit the punishment, my guilt-ridden life of sin surely justified the sentence.

Yes, I owned a shotgun! It was a .410, and it hung on the wall in my bedroom as a testament to my masculinity. I remember firing it twice. Once my uncle took me out to shoot at tin cans. The other time my dad, a neighbor, and I drove out to western Kansas to hunt pheasants with some locals. I remember firing at one bird. Somebody else claimed to have hit it, but my dad for some reason always thought that my so had brought it down.

Pierson, in contrast, wielded a 12-gauge. How he managed to injure only one person with five blasts from that monster has yet to be explained. Maybe he was so embarrassed by his poor marksmanship that he turned it on himself.

Choosing the Next Pope

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Who will emerge from the next conclave? Continue reading →

In a short while pope #266 will be chosen. Who will it be? I have no idea, but I do know a few things about the way that he will be chosen.

The group that chooses the pope is known as the “Sacred College of Cardinals.” At one time the cardinals served as the link between the pope, who is the Bishop of Rome, and the suburbicarian dioceses of the surrounding countryside. In those days there were only a handful of cardinals, and their primary job was to meet with the pope and then return to the hinterlands to explain his policies to the people there. After the Roman Empire virtually abandoned Italy in the fourth century, the pope was forced to take on many civil responsibilities. From 800 through 1870 the pope was universally recognized as the monarch of a strip of central Italy that stretched from coast to coast. The number of cardinals increased, but they still served as advisers and legates.

There is, in fact, no limit on the number of cardinals, and there are no guidelines (that I know of) for the qualifications. All (or at least nearly all) of the current cardinals are bishops. That is a relatively recent development. In the nineteenth century, for example, Cardinal Giacomo Antonelli served as Secretary of State for Pope Pius IX, and he never even became a priest. One cardinal, a Portuguese prince, was only seven-years old when he received his red hat. He probably had to grow into it.

Nowadays, “cardinal” is considered a rank that allows the recipient to wear a variety of red garments and to vote for the pope. When a cardinal reaches the age of eighty, however, although he is still allowed to wear red, he can no longer vote for the pope. So, Pope Benedict will have absolutely no say in choosing his successor.

Well, I should probably amend that last statement to say that he will have no direct say in choosing his successor. Of the 117 electors, 67 were appointed by Pope Benedict. All of the others were appointed by his predecessor, Pope John Paul II. Since these two popes had remarkably similar ideas on how the Church should be managed, it seems inevitable that the next pope will not favor radically different notions.

The cardinals have been choosing the pope for about half of the history of the Church. That policy was implemented in 1059 by Pope Nicholas II. Perhaps the most surprising fact about the history of the papacy is that prior to 1059 there was no established method for selecting the pontiff! Some popes were elected by the Roman citizens, some were elected by the clergy, some were appointed by kings or emperors, and there is no record at all as to how quite a few assumed the office. It was not uncommon for more than one man to claim the papacy, and the matter was occasionally settled violently.

For centuries the papal election took place in whatever city the pope had perished. The electors now always meet in the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican to choose the new pontiff. This process is called a conclave, which means “with a key.” The cardinals and a few attendants (Pope Pius XII’s attendants were nuns!) are locked in until they come to agreement. In the past this process has sometimes taken years! The longest one was held in Viterbo, starting in 1268. In 1271 the cardinals finally chose a man (not a priest) who at the time was taking part in the ill-fated Seventh Crusade, but not until after the impatient residents of Viterbo had hired carpenters to remove the roof of the room in which the cardinals had been locked.

All who participate in the conclave are sworn to secrecy. There is no official record of any of the votes or of the process by which the decisions are made. The official explanation is that the electors make themselves open to the Holy Ghost, and the third person of the Trinity inspires them to choose the best man. Some information, however, inevitably leaks out from one source or another. A Jesuit priest named Malachi Martin was a Vatican insider for several twentieth-century conclaves. He claimed that Cardinal Siri was elected pope at two different conclaves. Circumstances allegedly forced him to turn down the office on both occasions.

The essential requirements for being pope are remarkably simple. Each papabile must be a male Catholic, but not necessarily a priest. Many popes were not ordained as priests until after they were elected, and one, Adrian V, never did become one. Incidentally, this certainly qualifies as one of the most inexplicable piece of papal trivia. The pope is, by definition, the Bishop of Rome. Every bishop must be a priest. Therefore, most people would conclude that every pope had been a priest. The lesson to take home is that when it comes to the papacy there is an exception to almost every rule, even the tautologies.

There is no age requirement for the papacy. Pope John XII was a teenager when he was elected in the tenth century. His father made the arrangements (by paying off Roman nobility) for his ascendancy on his deathbed. Pope Benedict IX was also very young at his coronation (yes, the Pope until recently wore a crown called the “tiara”). One monk reported that this Benedict was only ten-years old, but historians today think that he was at least twice that.

I don’t expect the current College of Cardinals to choose another teenager. John XII was evidently murdered by a jealous husband who found him in bed with his wife. Benedict IX, who was accused of equally deplorable shenanigans, was driven from the papacy, regained it, and then sold the office to his godfather so that he could get married. After being jilted by his intended spouse, he eventually regained the throne once more, but he was finally overthrown in a second coup in 1048.

I guarantee that the new pope will not be a woman. The legend of Pope Joan is not taken seriously by any historians.

I doubt that the pope will be married, but it is possible. According to the Bible St. Peter, the first pope, had a wife. Not only was Pope Adrian II (867-872) married, but he lived with his wife after he became pope! A few other popes may have also been married. Many popes fathered children before they assumed the office. Pope Alexander VI had at least eight offspring whom he recognized, and he continued his promiscuous lifestyle as pope, although he traded in his long-time mistress for a newer model. His predecessor, Pope Innocent VIII, may have had twice that many kids. Life was different in fifteenth-century Rome.

The new pope will choose his own name. This tradition was started by the above-mentioned John XII, whose real name was Octavian. Prior to that time popes continued to use their given names. We will get some indication as to the pope’s intentions by his choice. If he chooses Pius, Gregory, or Paul, you can expect him to continue the conservative bent of the last few decades. If he chooses some other name, he may be making some other kind of statement. Benedict XVI, for example, chose his name as a tribute to the two previous Benedicts, who were intellectuals, Benedict XV during World War I and Benedict XIV in the eighteenth century.

No one has ever chosen the name Peter. That would be a striking statement that the new pontiff intended to return the Church to its roots. Don’t hold your breath.