Northeast magazine was a “Sunday supplement” for the Hartford Courant. In April of 1989 the magazine sponsored a contest to celebrate the one hundredth anniversary of A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, which was written when Mark Twain and his family lived in Hartford. Each contestant was asked to write a story of 5,000 words or fewer that updated Twain’s tale. The first prize was a two-week trip to England. I had never been anywhere on the east side of the Atlantic. I felt ready.
This contest appeared to be right in my wheelhouse. I was pretty sure that I had read the book when I was a kid; I certainly had seen the movie with Bing Crosby. I went to the library and checked out the book. It took me a couple of weeks to read; I was surprised by the dark tone and the carnage at the end. If I had read it in school, I was pretty sure that I would have remembered those scenes and discussed them with my friends. Young guys like to envision massive destruction. Maybe I only read the Classics Illustrated version.
Twain left out the Rhonda Fleming character; so did I.
I had a month or two to write my story. Who would be the protagonist? The people from Connecticut with whom I was most familiar were in advertising or computers. I decided to go with an ad agency executive who knew just enough about computers to be dangerous.
At that time the big controversy in the advertising community was whether agencies were required to charge Connecticut’s sales tax on any or all of the billings1. Some did, and they bitterly resented those who did not.
I contrived the deus ex machina for moving the action from the Land of Steady Habits to Arthurian Britain by conflating the confusing roads around the north meadows, a ghastly fog that I endured one evening, and a huge tree that I had seen growing in an intersection in Canton.
LJN produced the WWF action figures available in 1989. I put the wood carvers to work on the ones for the sixth-century knights.
The WWF (now called the WWE) was a client of CDHM Advertising, one of the users of TSI’s GrandAd system. When I combined wrestling with focus groups, the plot rather quickly came together. Coming up with an ending was the really hard part. I wrote one, but I wasn’t a bit satisfied with it. Has any time-travel story ever had a satisfying ending.
I never wrote anything out in longhand. I composed it in my head while I was jogging, which I did during my customary long lunches and in the evening.
The monks made trading parchments for the kids.
I keyed the text in on the Datamaster that was sitting on a table in the entryway between the garage and the house. Attached to it was the daisy-wheel printer. I seriously doubt that anyone in 1989 had access to better equipment for writing a story. I produced at least ten drafts.
I printed out a copy of the final version, which I entitled “Sir Consultant’s Strategic Plan”. I counted the words on the first page and multiplied by the number of pages2. It was about 5,000, maybe a little longer. Would they really check? I mailed it to Northeast magazine well before the deadline.
At some point in the fall, someone from the Courant called TSI’s office and asked to speak to me. She said that they wanted to publish my story, and she asked for permission to do so. Of course I agreed.
Lary Bloom
A few hours later I received a second phone call. This time Lary Bloom3, the editor of the magazine, was on the line. Chris Vegliante answered the phone and put Lary on hold. When she told me who was on the other end, she also added, “You won the contest, didn’t you?”
Lary informed me that I had indeed won the contest. He told me that there had been over two hundred entries, some from professional writers. He asked me if I had ever thought that I might win. I couldn’t lie. I had worked hard on it. I thought that it was a really good story, the best that I had ever written. Never mind that at that point in my life I had written almost nothing beyond technical manuals, TSI’s marketing and sales materials, and a few papers in graduate school. I had never even taken a single English class in my ten and a half years in school. I must have been very arrogant. I simply answered, “Yeah, I did.”
Don’t get me wrong. I was on a cloud for at least a week. I considered winning the contest one of the greatest accomplishments of my life.
Lary asked me to come into the office of the Courant on Broad St. to talk about it. When I arrived he warned me that I could not use “schmuck” or “schlub” because they were curse words in Yiddish. I looked both of them up at the library and decided that he was wrong about “schlub”. I did replace “schmuck” with “cutthroat”. I should have used the wrestling term “heel”, but no one in the wrestling world in 1989 admitted that they had assigned roles. I also didn’t know the industry term for the many wrestlers who always lose televised matches and never appear in major arenas. I subsequently discovered that the accepted description is “jobber”.
Dr. Miller.
Lary emphasized to me that the voting for the prize was very close. He said that one judge, Dr. James A. Miller4, a professor of literature at Trinity and Wesleyan, had lobbied hard for my story, and that had ultimately made the difference. The other judges were:
Justin Kaplan, author of Mr. Clemens and Mark Twain.
David E. E. Sloan, author of Mark Twain as a Literary Comedian.
Garret Condon, arts editor (and former book editor) of the Courant.
Dorothy A. Clark5, president of Literacy Volunteers of America.
Kamala Devi Dansinghani, an honor student at East Hartford High School.
Lary asked me if I had counted the number of words. I told him about my arithmetic approach. He told me that I absolutely must carefully count the words of the final version before they published it. He assured me that some of the other participants would check it and would raise a stink if it was too long.
He let me make whatever changes that I wanted. I tried hard to devise a better ending, but I did not have much luck. Instead I did a lot of work on the opening scene. I was pretty well satisfied with the results. When I reread it for this blog entry, I still liked it. Needless to say, there were a few passages that I would have changed.
I have always thought that this shot came out quite well.
Lary gave me three additional assignments before the article was published in December. The first was to go to the studio of a designated professional photographer (whose name I don’t remember) for the cover shot. I was told to bring a keyboard with me. He stuck a fake white mustache on my upper lip and fitted a white ball cap that he must have obtained from a BMW dealer. He wanted me to light a cigar and smoke it, but I balked. The idea of putting lighted weeds in my mouth has always been abhorrent to me. I agreed to hold it after he lit it.
While I was engaged in this, a friend and client of mine, Putt Brown, came into the photographer’s office. I had spent quite a bit of time with Putt a few years earlier, and I recognized him immediately. He did not recognize me at all, and he was astounded when I told him who I was and what I was doing there.
Phyllis Joffe.
For the second assignment I had to drive to the studios of Connecticut Public Radio. There I met Phyllis Joffe6, whom I had heard on the radio many times. She interviewed me about my story, and she asked me to read a couple of passages, including the “all-knighter” section that does not work on radio at all. The thing that I remember the most from her interview was that she thought that my style was more reminiscent of Raymond Chandler than Mark Twain.
I had read every word that Raymond Chandler ever wrote. I took what she said as a compliment. I loved his style, but I did not try to emulate it. I tried to write the way that a smart-aleck ad executive would in the eighties. When making a pitch to a client he took on a totally different persona. When he was disclosing his private opinions of those around him, he was often sarcastically dismissive. It wasn’t my style7; it was Ambrose’s.
The interview aired on National Public Radio on Sunday, December 10, the same day that the story appeared in the magazine. I think that it was on Weekend Edition, but I could be wrong.
The third assignment, to which Sue was also invited, was to appear at the Mark Twain House one evening in early December. It was a special meeting of the Samuel Clemens Society, which promotes the activities of the museum on Farmington Ave. The attendees were there to witness Lary announcing the winner of the story contest.
Frank Lord.
Before the event began I was somewhat surprised to see Frank Lord8, who was, as I recall, the president of the society at the time. I knew Frank quite well from the two years that I had worked at the Hartford Life, as described here.
When, after fifteen plus years, Frank saw me and Sue, he blurted out, “What are you doing here?”
When I told him that I had won the story contest, he was certainly stunned. He did not even know that Sue and I were back in Connecticut.
At some point in the event Lary introduced me to Dr. Miller. I may have met one or two of the other judges as well. I don’t recall any of the small talk.
The story was published in the Northeast magazine dated December 10, 19899. We subscribed to the paper. As soon as I awoke, I retrieved the paper from the driveway, extracted the magazine and read the story. I found two mistakes. I have footnoted them in the copy that is posted here. They bothered me, but they did not really disrupt the story.
I remember the reaction of my best friend, Tom Corcoran, after he had read the story in the Sunday paper. “I didn’t think that you had it in you, Mike. I don’t know why.”
Sue’s sister Betty asked me to do a dramatic reading for her and her friend, Jeffrey Campbell. Others may have also been sitting at the table with them. Everyone seemed to laugh in most of the right places.
Sue and I flew to London in February of 1990. That adventure is described here.
1. While I was writing the story for the contest, the state clarified the law. You can read the notice here.
2. It never occurred to me at the time that the Datamaster may well have had a word-counting feature. Does anyone still have one with IBM’s word processing software? Could you check for me?
3. Lary Bloom retired from the Courant in 2001. His LinkedIn page, which can be viewed here, says that he lives in Chester, CT.
5. Beginning in 2006 I played bridge with Dorothy Clark many times at the Simsbury Bridge Club, once as a partner and many times as an opponent. I did not recognize her name at the time, and she apparently did not recognize me. She died in 2018. Her obituary is here.
6. Phyllis Joffe died in 2002. Her obituary is here.
7. My other substantial piece of fiction, which can be read here, would remind no one of Raymond Chandler.
8. Frank Lord died on July 3, 2020. His obituary is here. His LinkedIn page, which lists most of his roles in Hartford, is here.
9. The Courant let me have ten copies. I still have two or three.
I can remember a lot about the three years that Sue and I lived in our apartment on Sheldon Rd. in Plymouth, but in some cases the chronology is a little fuzzy. I have consulted with Sue on many of these items, but grey areas persist.
The area north of 845 Sheldon Rd. has greatly changed since we left. The train tracks were, I think, near what is now called Beech St. The houses on that road and the large cul-de-sac on the left did not exist when we lived there.
One strange and memorable aspect of life in that apartment concerned light bulbs. The train tracks just to the north of the house were, in those years, quite active. Long freight trains rumbled through at a rapid pace day and night. Whenever a train passed, the entire building shook as if in a mild earthquake. Nothing was ever damaged except our incandescent light bulbs. We did not have a great number of lamps, but we routinely needed to replace bulbs at least monthly.
Fortunately, our electric company, Detroit Edison, had a policy of providing free light bulbs1 to its customers. So, we would just pick up a couple at their local store every time that we were in the vicinity.
Pets: We brought Puca, Sue’s boa constrictor, to Plymouth from Connecticut. He lived in his cage in the bookshelves in the living room throughout our time in Plymouth.
Having a snake means that one must also have a supply of animals to feed it. We fed Puca mice. We found a very nice pet store in Northville, the town immediately north of Plymouth. It was only a ten-minute drive unless, of course, a train was coming through.
On our first visit we bought a few mice to feed to Puca. We needed a place to keep them; he never ate more than one. We bought a fish tank with a lid of wire mesh. We also needed some wood shavings for the floor, a water bottle, and some Purina Mouse Chow2.
The athleticism of the mice amazed me. They looked fat and slow, but their appearance was deceptive. Any mouse could easily jump from the floor of the cage to the lid—a leap of about a foot. It could at the same time whip around and grab the lid with all four paws in one smooth motion. They appeared to just will themselves up.
When Puca was like this it was safe to feed him. Only the S-shaped coiled part strikes. In this position he could only strike something an inch or so away from his head.
Keeping a few mice around was acceptable as long as Puca was eating. However, he was unpredictable in that regard. We knew that boa constrictors generally hibernated in the winter. They drank a little water, but they were very lethargic. Puca’s cage had a heat lamp, but it seemed that he somehow knew when it was time to hibernate.
Snakes can unhinge their jaws. They can swallow animals that are much larger than one might expect.
We expected Puca to be hungry pretty much all of the time in the other three seasons, but that was not always the case. Fairly often he refused to eat.
The thing about mice is that if you have a male and a female, you almost always have quite a few more before you know it. Although they are born blind and hairless, mice nurse for only twenty days. They can be fertile at an age of four to six weeks. The gestation period is only twenty days. The litter size can be up to thirteen! Pregnant mice can barely walk on the last few days. One of our mice, named Mellow, had a litter of twelve, and all of the pups survived.
So, we soon needed more cages. We bought a twenty-gallon tank with a lid of wire mesh and a Deluxe Habitrail. We acquired a small wire cage that we used to isolate pregnant females. Fortunately it is easy to determine the sex of mice, and so I was generally able to keep the breeding down. However, over one winter our mouse population still rose to fifty-three.
I kept careful records of the mice. I was not doing research. I just likes to keep records. I assigned a name to each mouse and gave him/her a file card that documented date of birth or purchase, appearance (I tried to buy mice with interesting colors and patterns), parentage, and date fed to Puca (or other demise).
Occasionally a mouse escaped. I chased the each fugitive until I had it cornered. Then I picked it up by the tail. Their only weakness was their inability to hide their tails, and I never gave up.
Once a mouse on the lam ran—I swear that I saw this happen—through the wire cage that we used as a maternity ward. Less than a half inch separated the vertical bars on this cage, but the mouse did not even seem to slow down when he passed between them.
Yes, that’s me withPuca.
To feed Puca I would grab a mouse by the tail. I would wait for an occasion in which he seemed active but not on the prowl. He would almost always flick his tongue, his best sense, whenever I opened the door to the cage. If he was interested in eating he would slowly stalk the mouse. When he struck he seldom missed. He then squeezed the life out of the mouse and swallowed it head-first. If he was skinny (which he usually was), you could see the mouse move through his body.
Was I afraid of Puca? No, not at all. We sometimes took him out, but we never let him roam. He was too good at hiding, and once he got himself wrapped around something, it was very difficult to pry him loose. My biggest fear was that he would somehow get into our heater.
Actually, I was more afraid of the mice than Puca. Puca struck at my arm once. It felt like getting punched. His teeth also made small puncture wounds, but there was not a lot of pain. The wounds did not last long.
This is the recipe box that contained cards with the details for each mouse.
I was also bit by a mouse once, and it was MUCH worse. I was holding the little critter by the tail, as I had done dozens of times. This one must have had great abs because he whipped his head up to my hand and glommed onto the loose skin between my thumb and forefinger with all four of his oversized front teeth. The bite really hurt, and he would not let go no matter how much I shook my hand. I whacked my hand up against a wall three times before he let go. When he hit the floor he sped off, but eventually I caught him.
The area of the bite was sore for a few days, but there was no permanent damage.
Our Charlie was much better looking than Charlie Haggers.
Sue and I often drove to the pet store in Northville even when we had no need of mice. We looked at all the potential pets for sale there. In 1976 we decided to buy a guinea pig. We picked out a Peruvian (long hair) with a very interesting color that involved a mix of silver and light brown hair. We named him after the Charlie Haggers3 character on Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, which we watched every night in 1976-1977. The guinea pig’s full name was Carlos Cavia y Vega, but we called him Charlie.
In those days I loved to bake in the sun in the backyard of the apartment house. During the summer of 1976 I brought Charlie with me outside, where I would liked to read a book or work on something. I had removed the bottom and lid to a large cardboard box to provide Charlie with an open-air fenced in place to enjoy the outdoors. It may sound boring, but this array of fresh edible greens was like paradise to a guinea pig.
This photo of Charlie doesn’t do him justice. His coat was very nice when he was not all wet like this.
In the apartment we kept Charlie in a twenty-gallon fish tank for a while. I decided to build a cage for him and a potential family to fit on the barnboard shelves. It was a split-level, and it featured a ramp that, when lowered, let them roam in the living room and return home when they wanted. They were very well-behaved. They were not fast; their only defense mechanism in the wild was to hide in a hole or cave, and, to tell the truth, these long-haired guinea pigs had not been in the wild in many generations.
I thought that it would be nice to take Charlie for “walkies”, as Barbara Woodhouse called them. Charlie had very short legs, of course. I did not anticipate that we would cover a lot of ground. I bought a very cheap leash for Charlie, and he did not seem to mind it. I put the leash on him and carried him outside. He made a beeline for the nearest dandelion. He spent a few minutes there until he had devoured all of the greens. He then moved to the next dandelion about six inches away, and he spent the next few minutes chomping on the delights that it had to offer. I terminated our walkie without ever doing more than shuffling my feet.
When the guinea pig mansion was completed, Sue and I decided to get Charlie a companion. Her name, of course, was Loretta. We decided on the name before we ever departed for the pet store.
As soon as we reached the store we walked to the section in which they kept the guinea pigs. They usually had between five and fifteen of them, a very good selection. Most people do not realize that guinea pigs whistle when they get excited. I was quite adept at emulating a guinea pig whistle, and I always exhibited this talent at the store. Pretty soon the whole clan would get in the act. All of the customer would come over to the guinea pig area to witness the excitement.
Loretta, with her three-toned face and white torso, was at least as cute as her namesake (when she dried off). Also, my arms were never as hairy as they look here.
We picked out a suitable Loretta and brought her home with us. She got along fine with Charlie, and before too long she had a litter of three.
Guinea pigs and mice are both rodents, but the similarity ends there. Loretta carried her babies for about two months. The last few days we could see them moving around inside her. They came out with their eyes ope, a full set of teeth, and beautiful coats. By the time that we saw them they were on their feet and moving about.
Another important difference between mice and guinea pigs: The best way to pick up mice is by the tail. However, NEVER pick up a guinea pig by the tail; its eyes will fall out.
Guinea pig babies certainly must rank with the cutest animals ever. When we let down the ramp Loretta would go for a walk in the living room, and the babies followed her in a line nose-to-tail. To top it off they all made what I called “monk-monk” noises. I don’t know how else to describe them. Adults never made these noises. I am positive that Sue took some photos of this furry little train, but I cannot find them.
The big trip: Sue and I took no vacations during the years that we lived in Plymouth. In the fall of 1976 we learned that Patti Lewonczyk and Tom Corcoran were getting married in Newington, CT, on January 7, 1977. They invited us to the wedding, and we decided to go. We planned to fly to Kansas City5 to spend Christmas with my family in Leawood, and then fly back to Hartford. We then would drive to Enfield to celebrate a late Christmas and New Year’s with Sue’s family. Then we would return to Michigan after the wedding.
Sue and Me.
Sue and Molly.
Dad (terrified by Molly) and Mom.
I don’t honestly remember too much about the trip to KC, but Sue took a number of photos. My sister Jamie was apparently not there. She was nineteen or twenty at the time. I think that she had left college and moved somewhere. She also got married around this time if my math is correct. Father Joe drove down from Kelly, KS.So, there were six of us (counting Molly the dog) for Christmas.
Fr. Joe and Me.
Me, Mom, and Dad (still terrified).
Lights on the Country Club Plaza.
From the photos it appears that Sue and I spent most of our time at my parents’ house playing with Molly, whom I have always considered to be Jamie’s dog. My dad, who had no use for live animals of any description, was forced into several pictures that included Molly.
My parents and I certainly attended mass on Christmas day. I am almost positive that I was still going to church regularly in late 1976. If not, I definitely was not ready to tell my parents. Sue might have attended out of courtesy to my parents. I can’t think of any other reason for her to be wearing such a nice dress.
The whole experience was more than a little awkward; things were always awkward in that house. My parents were both devout Catholics from birth. They had raised me to be one, too, but, after a very promising start, I failed to meet their expectations. They never said anything, but it was in the air.
Two young guinea pigs and Sue’s present for Betty.
Karen and the youngsters.
Betty, Queenie the dog, and the young guinea pigs.
From the top: Loretta in her split-level pad, Charlie on his hind legs sniffing around in the 20-gallon tank, and their two offspring in a wire cage that I don’t recognize.
From KC we flew back to Metro Airport in Detroit.
Shortly thereafter we drove to Enfield in Sue’s Dodge Colt. We must have gone through Ohio and Pennsylvania because we brought with us several guinea pigs—Charlie, Loretta, and some of their offspring. They occupied the back seat in at least two cages, including the split-level house that I built for them.
I have almost no recollection at all of this part of the visit. Sue’s photographs indicate that gifts were exchanged, and the guinea pigs always seemed to be right in the middle of the festivities.
Snow at the church. That may be the legendary Hergmobile.
Although Tom and Patti were not very religious, their nuptials were performed at the Catholic church in Newfield. That was what people whose parents were Catholic did in the seventies. We attended the ceremony, but I don’t remember anything about it. In the Catholic church the wedding ceremonies are generally part of a mass. So, a large portion of the time was devoted to the usual rites.
Many of our friends at the Hartford were there, and, as far as I know, they all attended the reception. I only remember one detail. At the meal Sue and I were seated near Jim and Ann Cochran. Someone asked me about what I had been doing. I told them how thrilled that Wayne, Mitch, and I were the previous year to make it to the National Debate Tournament in Boston. I also probably told them about Don and Stewart. I may have told a few debate stories, too.
An hour or so after the meal Ann came up to me and said, “You don’t even know what you’ve got, do you?”
Tom Herget was the best man.
I didn’t think I had anything, but my last physical was when I left the Army almost five years earlier. Before I could relay this information, she put her arms around my neck and planted a huge smacker on my face. You could have knocked me over with a feather. Later, I saw her sweet talking a guy that I had never met.
I think that there must have been a second round of festivities at the 345 Club. Quite a few photos show people without suits and ties in rooms with old wallpaper and antebellum furniture.
Scott Otermat in the foreground and Tom Corcoran with the drink.
I am still eating. Frank is behind me. I don’t recognize the woman on the right.
Damon Panels, Someone, Scott Otermat, and the Cochrans.
From left: Jim Cochran, Ann Cochran, Frank Lord, and John Sigler and his wife.
The following photos are at the 345 Club.
Mel Majocha and Tom Herget.
Me and someone wearing the dress that Ann Cochran wore at the wedding.
Frank Lord and Ann Cochran.
Fashion note: Yes, there was probably still a suit in my closet, and I certainly had some ties. However, as an impoverished graduate student, I was well within my rights to wear to any “formal occasion” my trusty corduroy jacket over a bulky wool sweater. Besides, it was cold.
The last forty or so miles were through the Pocono Mountains.
The first half of the drive back to Plymouth was something of an adventure. As we reached the northern section of the Pocono Mountains it started to snow. Thereafter we saw very few cars. Sue was driving, and I was nervous. At the time this was the scariest drive I had ever been on, but that record lasted less than a month.
We finally arrived at a motel near Scranton, and we obtained a room. The motel had a no-pets policy, but we snuck the guinea pigs and their cages into the room. All four had long coats, but they were not used to cold weather.
It was sunny and bright the next morning, and the drive to Plymouth was easy.
Sue’s jobs: Sue’s first job after we arrived in Plymouth in 1974 was a very convenient one. It was in the center of Plymouth, only a few blocks from our apartment. The company was a business association for insurance companies in Michigan. I am not sure what her responsibilities entailed. She was called a “correspondent”.
Sue liked this job, but her employers considered her a potential rabble-rouser. Unions were still very big in Michigan, and management did not want anyone who might undertake to bring one to the organization. They asked her to leave.
She found a job pretty quickly with a company named Michigan Basic. This company developed software for IBM mini-computers, such as the System/3. Sue’s boss’s name was Chuck Glore. Sue learned from him how to program in RPG (Report Program Generator).
I don’t remember where the office was, but I recall accompanying Sue there on a few evenings or weekends. I was very interested in the concept of computers that a small company could program themselves.
After a while, Sue and Chuck had a falling out over something. It might have been because of a recession in the auto industry. Since nearly every company in southeast Michigan was heavily dependent on the auto companies, at least indirectly, all businesses suffered. At any rate, Sue was back in the job market, but she now had a marketable skill.
She took a job as a placement for an employment agency. In many ways it was a perfect job for Sue. She has always loved to talk on the phone, she enjoys introducing people to one another, and she really believed that there was a seat for every butt.
Unfortunately, the local economy being what it was at the time, there were far more butts than seats. Sue often came back to the apartment crying in frustration.
One of the few thriving companies in Detroit was Brothers Specifications. As “white flight” took hold in Detroit a lot of fairly nice houses were abandoned. The federal department of Housing and Urban Development hired the company to inspect the abandoned houses and to assess the cost, if any, of making the houses habitable. The employment agency that Sue worked for had been contacted by Frank Yee, the computer guy at Brothers. Sue tried to convince him to hire one of her job-seekers. He told her that he would rather hire her than the applicant whom she was representing.
Sue took Frank up on his offer. She liked this job a lot. She got along well with the people there, and there was a very active social life, which was right up Sue’s alley. The details and many photos will be posted in the Detroit section of the blog.
Visitors: Sue has told me that her peripatetic grandmother, Molly Locke, visited our apartment and slept on the waterbed. She was on a trip to western Michigan to visit the family of her son Bob Locke or on the way back to Enfield. I must have been away on a debate trip. She slept on our waterbed but did not enjoy it much. This visit probably occurred in the spring or fall. I would have known about it in the summer, and tourism in Michigan in winter is seldom advisable.
Sue also told me that her female cousins (her Uncle Bob’s daughters) also visited her while I was on a debate trip.
Mark (?) is on the waterbed. Jamie is sitting on the floor looking at the Mean Reserves album. I am probably sitting on a kitchen chair. We are all facing the television set.
I reckon that our other visitors arrived in late winter or early spring of 1977. My sister Jamie drove up with, I think, her new husband Mark. I remember absolutely nothing about this visit, but Sue took a photo of them, and I am in the picture. I suspect that we talked mostly about our pets. We were very serious pet owners at the time.
They stayed overnight on the waterbed. I think that they left the next day.
The Mayflower Hotel was razed in 1999.
Entertainment: Sue has always loved live music. She found a bar named The Crows Nest inside the Mayflower Hotel, which was right in the center of Plymouth. It often featured live musicians. She had two favorite singers, a blonde whose name was Jane or Janet, and Elaine Philpot, who had darker hair and claimed to be 5’12” tall.
Elaine had an interesting song that she used for sing-alongs. The title is “Piccolomini”6. Here are the lyrics:
Piccolomini Piccolomini Piccolomini Picco-
Lomini Piccolomini Piccolomini Piccolomini Pi-
Ccolomini Piccolomini Piccolomini Piccolomini
(repeat faster and faster until totally out of breath).
And a twist to boot.
I remember Elaine best for her pet waterfowl named Kensington. I thought of him as a large duck; Sue remembers a goose. She is probably right.
Whatever he was, he enjoyed biting people’s bare legs. He brazenly walked up to strangers, turned his head ninety degree, opened his beak and thrust at the exposed flesh. When he hit the target, he twisted his head back to the upright position before releasing. This really hurt.
Sue photographed the RMSB playing hard and fast at Floyd’s in Ann Arbor.
Our other favorite hangout was a bar in the center of Ann Arbor called, if memory serves, Floyd’s. We went there several times to listen to the Red Mountain String Band, a bunch of people who occasionally came up to God’s country to perform before returning to “that school down south” in Columbus. At least once Don Huprich joined us at Floyd’s.
This was from an article in the OSU newspaper about the group wanting to play in prisons.
They were very good musicians. The leader, Larry Nager6, was also very funny. We always sat quite close to the band. I asked Larry once to specify the location of the Red Mountains. His answer disappointed me a little. He admitted that they were a figment of the imagination. In his position I would have made something up.
Cards: I think that I got interested in card magic and card throwing while watching Ricky Jay7 on the Tonight Show. He performed a hilarious trick called The Lethal Four-Card Fist. He made Johnny Carson put on a studded mitt designed by a goaltender in hockey. Then he gave Johnny a banana to hold in his gloved hand. He began a long tale about the origin of the technique of the four-card fist (one-card between each finger and one between the thumb and forefinger), which he attributed to Somebody “the heathen”. In the middle of his patter who once slew five separate assailants when he was apparently unarmed. In the midst of this patter he whirled and threw all four cards at the banana HARD. At least one or two definitely struck the banana or the glove.
Afterwards Johnny examined the banana and remarked that the attack did not appear to be very lethal. There was not even a scratch on it. Ricky sternly reproved him for the plebeian mistake of judging a book by its cover. He then explained the art of ubiwasi that he had learned from the inside back cover of Superman DC comics. With one finger an ordinary man can bring an assailant with a single finger without leaving a mark.
Ricky advised Johnny to peel the banana carefully. The fruit of the banana fell onto the carpet in five neat pieces. Even with no training I could figure out how he did the trick, but his presentation was flawless.
I purchased Jay’s outstanding book, Cards as Weapons. I did not use Ricky’s throwing technique; I invented my own, in which I compensated for my rag arm with a method that allowed me to snap my shoulder, elbow wrist, and finger joints in rapid succession. I threw one thousand cards a day for the better part of one summer. It was a minor miracle that I did not do permanent damage.
I once threw a playing card forty yards outdoors against the wind. That’s ten yards less than Ricky’s best (long since eclipsed by others), but it was farther than my bunkmate in Basic Training, Rosey, could throw any object.
Or were the black cards hotter?
I bought quite a few other books about card tricks and some trick decks at a magic store. I practiced my sleights for at least an hour a day. I could do a few tricks, but none of them very well. I only perfected one, Scarne’s Color Change, which required very little skill. I watched the Amazing Kreskin use it to baffle Charlton Heston, who held the deck in his own hands through nearly all of the experience. on national television.
Once, when Elaine Philpot was sitting at our table at the Crow’s Nest, I pulled a deck of cards from my pocket and said that I had learned a magic trick. I then told her that scientists in Switzerland had determined that a few sensitive people were able to determine whether a playing card was red or black solely through their fingertips. The cards with red suits and numbers allegedly transmitted slightly more heat. I asked her to try it. When the trick was over she was absolutely convinced that her fingers could discern red cards from black even though I started by telling her that it was a trick.
Wedding: Mitch Chyette married his longtime girlfriend, Andee, in the summer of 1976. It was the only Jewish wedding that I have ever attended. The debaters were all there, but I don’t remember many details. If I find any photos, I will post them.
Sports: I played a few rounds of golf with Don Goldman. I don’t remember any details.
I bought a pair of Adidas running shoes and started jogging when I noticed that I was getting fat. I jogged at least a couple of times a week for forty or more years.
The only recognized sport in the Ann Arbor area is college football. If the team and I were both in town, I went to the game. If I was out of town, I gave my ticket to Don Goldman or someone else. He did the same for me. In that way Sue was able to see a few games, too. The team’s records during the three years were 10-1, 8-2-2 (tying two out-of-conference games and losing to Oklahoma in the Orange Bowl, and 10-2 (losing to USC in the Rose Bowl).
Rick Leach was the star of the 1976 team.
One game—or actually half of a game—stands out in my memory. Sue and I attended the game with Mitch Chyette and wife Andee. For her the best part of the game was the show that the band put on at halftime.
We watched the first half of one of the home games—I think that it must have been the 1976 game against Minnesota—in the rain. I was miserable. Andee opined that we should leave after the half. I said that if we stayed for the halftime show, we were definitely staying for the second half. We decided to leave at the end of the first half and watch the rest of the game at their nearby apartment.
For years I thought that the game we saw with Mitch and Andee was the one in 1968 in which Ron Johnson set the NCAA rushing record (broken many times in subsequent years) with an unbelievable second half in the mud. I must have conflated two events that were actually years apart. It happens when you become a geezer.
I am pretty sure that we also went bowling once with Mitch, Andee, and her sister, who was dating a Chaldean guy who apparently smoke a smattering of Arabic. He told us how he had been hired by some Black guys to read some Muslim texts to them. They liked the way that the Arabic sounded, but none of them understood it. He said that he always threw in some jokes, malapropisms, and obscenities.
1. This policy began in the nineteenth century. In 1974 Detroit Edison was sued for antitrust violations by a drug store. In 1978, after we had moved away from the tracks, Detroit Edison terminated the policy.
2. I don’t think that Purina still markets specifically to mice owners. I looked for a picture on the Internet, but I could not find one.
3. Charlie Haggers was played by Graham Jarvis. He died in 2003 at the age of 72.
4. Loretta Haggers was portrayed by Mary Kay Place. She won an Emmy for her performance.
5. It is quite possible that the Kansas City trip took place a year earlier (1975).
6. I later learned that Piccolomini is the family name of two popes, Pius II and his nephew Pius III. Pius II as a young man wrote some erotic literature. His nephew’s pontificate lasted less than a month.
7. The band is long gone, but Larry Nager has had a very productive career in performing music and writing about it.
8. Ricky Jay died in 2018. He was one of my very few idols.
I met a large number of people working at The Hartford. Here is an alphabetical list of the ones that I remember. At the end are a few people whom I remember only by first name. If no department is mentioned, the person worked in Life Actuarial. If no specific responsibility is mentioned, it is safe to assume that the individual was an actuary or actuarial student.
The only think that I remember about Larry Abbott is that he always came to work without a suit coat. He kept a sports coat near his desk to wear to meetings in other departments. I think that he worked in Group Actuarial.
I did not know Pat Adams very well. I remember criticizing her pitiful sneeze in the study room. I also remember that she took—and passed actuarial exams two at a time.
Lou Aiello was a clerk in Life Actuarial. He might have worked for Alan Gibb. He batted .500 (1 for 2) for the Mean Reserves, and his hit was the most legendary in the history of the team.
At some point I sat near Barb Bednarz. I think that it might have been when I came back for the summer of 1975. I remember talking to her about Monty Python and explicating my theory that a human being trained from birth to run on all fours could win Olympic medals.
Paul Campbell arrived after I did. He was a Variable Annuity actuary. He played once or twice for the Mean Reserves softball team.
Jim Cochran came to Hartford in 1973. He and his wife Ann were close friends. They taught me a subset of the rules to Sheepshead. Jim played on both Mean Reserves teams and took my place on the golf team. He was the outsider in the 345 Club carpool. I keep in touch with him via email. Some people called him “Crow”. I think it had something to do with the original spelling
Tom Corcoran has been my close friend for over forty-eight years. Having grown up in the Boston area, in the seventies he still pronounced his last name in almost exactly the same way that Jim Cochran pronounced his. Tom, who participated in nearly every aspect of my life at the Hartford, married Patti Lewonczyk on 1/07/77.
Sue Comparetto worked as a clerk for nearly every insurance company in Hartford. We got married on 12/08/12, when it finally made sense for tax purposes. She took the photos for the Mean Reserves softball album.
Carolyn DesRochers was a supervisor in the Individual Pensions Department. I worked with her while attempting to determine the source of the problems with the annual reports for the policyholders. She was married to Chris.
Chris DesRochers1 started, I think, a year before I did. I succeeded him in the role of preparing a monthly report for Jan Pollnow. He was married to Carolyn. I think that I helped them move.
Paul Engstrom played both years for the Mean Reserves softball team, but I don’t have any clear memories of him.
Wayne Foster ran the payday pool. He had been a communications specialist in Vietnam. He was awarded a Bronze Star for completing an international phone call.
Don Francis was the #2 man in the Life Actuarial Department. He played softball with us a few times, but I did not know him very well.
Tom Garabedian worked in the Group Actuarial Department. He was one of the best players in both basketball and softball.
Paul Gewirtz was the senior actuary in the Individual Pensions area. I think that he became a fellow of the Society of Actuaries while I was at the Hartford. He made a memorable contribution to the lore of the Mean Reserves softball team.
Alan Gibb was a supervisor in Life Actuarial. I did not have much interaction with him.
My only contact with Bob Goode, a top executive, was a very nerve-wracking phone call during my short period working for Mike Winterfield.
I am not sure where Les Gubkin worked. He somehow found out about the Mean Reserves and joined the softball team in 1973.
Jim Hawke began working at the Hartford in 1973. We soon became close friends, and we still stay in contact by email. He played a little softball for the team, but he is most famous for the picnic with Ethan, Sue, and me on Bunyan Mountain. He also took over my bedroom in the 345 Club and my spot in the carpool.
I remember Jim Housholder, but the only conversation that I recall clearly was when he explained about a new product he was working on—a whole life policy with a death-exclusion rider.
Kevin Kirk worked in Individual Pensions. He and his wife came over to have supper and watch The Wizard of Oz with Sue and me in East Hartford. Kevin played on both the basketball and softball teams.
Donna Kolakowski was one of the youngest clerks. She attended some of our events. I went to lunch with her and Jim Hawke a few times.
Jim Kreidler once called me a jock, one of the greatest compliments that I ever received. He wimped out in the epic tennis match of 8/18/73. He went to England to work there.
Patti Lewonczyk2 was a supervisor in Individual Pensions. We worked together on proposals. She married Tom Corcoran. They went on vacations with Sue and me in the twenty-first century.
Frank Lord3 played on the softball team. He might have also played basketball, but his best sport was tennis. He was the first person that I knew who drove a BMW. I saw him in 1988 at the Mark Twain House when I won the story contest.
I think that Mel Majocha worked at the Hartford somewhere. She went out with Tom Herget. I went to her parent’s house for a cookout once. I will never forget how she said goodbye to me.
Dave McDonald was Secretary (boss) of the Individual Pensions Department. He asked me to investigate the problem producing the annual statements for customers.
Gail Mertan went out with Tom Garabedian. I don’t know where (or if) she worked.
Marsha Monico went out with Tom Herget. I don’t know where (or if) she worked.
Bill Mustard played golf with John Sigler, Norm Newfield, and me. I think that he worked in IT at the Hartford.
Norm Newfield was a tremendous athlete. He worked in Human Resources. He played on a flag football team in New Britain, and he participated in my football pool. He was part of our foursome in golf and an opponent in the golf league.
Scott Otermat4 was my supervisor in the Individual Pensions Department. His favorite author was Ayn Rand. He had a dog named Cinders. I helped him move to Bristol. He liked to work on his MG. His full name was actually Scott C. Otermat, Jr. I tried to get him to promise to name his first-born Scott C. Otermat The Third so that his initials would be the same as his first name.
Damon Panels lived across the street from the tower building. He occasionally gave a soirée in his apartment. Sue and I went to see him years later in Bloomfield, CT.
Tony Piccerillo was a recent graduate of Trinity College who worked in Individual Pensions.
Jan Pollnow hired me. He was a star play on both athletic teams. He was my last boss before I moved to Plymouth.
Russ Pollnow was Jan’s brother. I don’t know where he worked but he played on the 1974 softball team.
Parker Prine worked with Norm Newfield in Human Rellations. He played in the football pool and won one week. Tom Herget accused me of making him up and keeping the winnings for myself.
Ann Randazzo was Don Sondergeld’s secretary and the unofficial office manager of the Life Actuarial Department.
I don’t know where Keith Reynolds worked. He played softball and went to bars with us.
Bob Riley was a supervisor in Life Actuarial. He was Sue’s boss and a first baseman on the 1974 team.
I don’t know where Charlie Robinson worked. He played on the softball team.
David Rowe was an exchange student from England who worked as an actuary in Life Actuarial. The four bases on a softball diamond confounded him. Traffic on roundabouts in England goes clockwise.
Gerry Schwartz, an employee of the Operations Research Department, had the dubious honor of managing the HP-3000 computer system.
John Sigler was my golf and tennis partner. He also played on all of the Mean Reserves teams.
Fred Smith played on the basketball teams. He was famous for being able to read paper tapes.
Don Sondergeld was VP and Actuary (big cheese). He never berated me publicly for insulting his wife. In 2021 he is still an active member of the Hartford Bridge Club.
Mike Swiecicki5 left the Hartford before I did. I remember him as being a phenomenal player at games that required hand-eye coordination.
Laurie Weisbrot (a guy) worked in Group Actuarial. When he passed the tenth exam he purchase a vanity plate: LRW-FSA.
Mike Wheeler played on the softball team both years.
Jo White was a senior clerk. She played a lot of golf, mostly at the Buena Vista Golf Course in West Hartford.
Ron Wittenwyler played third base on our softball team in 1973. His wife Jane came to some games.
First names only:
Bill: Norm Newfield’s partner in the golf league;
Jackie: Sue’s landlady in Rockville;
Lisa: who worked for Don Francis;
Paula: a clerk who worked for Patti Lewonczyk and whom I made cry;
Ray: a supervisor in Individual Pensions;
Ron: who married Jackie.
Tad: a clerk who worked for Alan Gibb.
Sue Comparetto had a million friends. I have undoubtedly forgotten more than I remember. Here are a few that I met during this two-year period.
Marlene Boulerice was with Gary Gudinkas at the time. Sue went to high school with her.
Diane DeFreitas was Sue’s roommate in East Haddam.
Gary Gudinkas was a short guy who was with Marlene. Sue knew him from high school.
Karen Peterson worked at Travelers Equity Sales with Sue and went on the trip to Alaska with her.
Diane Robinson6 worked at Travelers Equity Sales with Sue and went on the trip to Alaska with her. We visited Diane a few times at her home in Vermont.
Pat and Stan Slatt had a very large python and a boa constrictor.
Bob and Susan Thompson had a dachshund and a very old Plymouth.
Sue knew Evelyn Umgelter from high school.
It took me years to sort out Sue’s relatives on her mother’s side. I’m only listing first names. Except for Effy, their last name in 1972-74 was Locke. Almost all of them lived within a mile or two of Sue’s childhood home on North Maple in Enfield. Sue was older than all of her cousins and siblings, and I was older than she was. So, I am pretty sure that all of the people of Sue’s generation were living at home during this period.
Bob was the only one of Effy’s brother who left Enfield. He moved to western Michigan and worked as an engineer. Sue and I visited his family in the nineties.
Carol7 was Bob’s wife.
Charlie8 was Effy’s brother. He was an electrician who did work for Sue’s Father. He lived within a couple of miles.
Chet9 was also Effy’s brother. He was buried in his military uniform. He lived within a couple of miles.
Effy Slanetz10 was Sue’s mother.
Elsie11 was Chet’s wife.
Gene12 was Charlie’s wife.
Glenn was a son of Ted and Judy and therefore Sue’s first cousin. He lived a few miles away in a new house
Jimmy was a son of Ted and Judy and therefore Sue’s first cousin.
Judy was Ted’s wife. They lived across the street from the Slanetz home.
Molly13 was Sue’s Grandmother and Effy’s mother. She lived in a room attached to Ted and Judy’s house. She loved to play bingo.
Paul was Chet’s son. a grave-digger, and Sue’s first cousin.
Patti14 and Cathy were Charlie’s daughters and therefore Sue’s first cousins. I did not know them very well.
Susie was Ted and Judy’s daughter and Sue’s first cousin.
Ted was Effy’s youngest brother and therefore Sue’s uncle.
Timmy was Chet’s son and Sue’s first cousin.
In contrast, I am not sure that I met any of Sue’s uncles, aunts, and cousins on her father’s (Slanetz) side during this period. I got to meet a lot of them at a Slanetz family reunion that was held years later at Sue’s family house.
Art15 was Sue’s dad. He farmed when Sue was little. When I knew him, he had a corporation with several irons in the fire—construction, trash, water, and who knows what else.
Betty was Sue’s youngest sister.
Don was Sue’s only brother.
Karen was Sue’s younger sister. She was older than Betty and Don.
Margaret16Davis was Art’s sister. She had three children.
Mark was the brains of the family. I saw him once in Houston, and he has visited our house occasionally.
Robby still lives in Enfield in 2021.
I met Diane only briefly. I think that she in South Carolina in 2021.
Chris DesRochers died in 2013. His obituary can be read here.
Patti and Tom Corcoran married while I was coaching debate in Michigan in the late seventies. They had two children, Brian and Casey, who in 2021 both live in Burlington, VT, with their respective families. Patti died in 2011. My tribute to her can be read here.
Frank Lord died on July 3, 2020. His obituary is here.
Scott Otermat left the Hartford in 1980. He died in 2016. His obituary is here.
Mike Swiecicki left the Hartford before I did. He died in 2015 after a twenty-five year career as an actuary with CAL PERS. His obituary is here.
The above expression is the actuarial depiction of a “mean reserve” for a life insurance policy. The age at issue is x, and, if I remember correctly, the number of elapsed years is t. V is the symbol for reserve. The +1/2 indicates that it is valuated halfway through the year. Thus, it is the “mean” (average) reserve value for the year.
The Hartford Life hired four young men as actuarial students in 1972. Because of my time in the Army, I was the oldest and the last one hired. The other three were all recent college graduates, and they were all named Tom: Corcoran, Garabedian, and Herget. The three of them shared more than the name Tom; they were all quite interested in sports (especially baseball and basketball), and they were all pretty good athletes as well.
I was almost as interested in sports as they were, but my baseball (documented here) and basketball (documented here) careers were not exactly sterling. Besides, my favorite sport has always been football, and my biggest passion was college football, which was almost unknown in New England—at the time Boston College was the only school in New England that played in the top division, as opposed to five in the state of Michigan alone.
Tom Corcoran1 was a recent graduate of Brown. He grew up in Stoneham, a suburb on the north side of Boston. He was a die-hard fan of the Sawx and the Celtics. He also played for the rugby club at Brown. Tom was strong, and he knew a lot about basketball, or at least a lot more than I did.
Tom Herget2 was from Aurora, IL, west of Chicago. He had just graduated from the University of Illinois, where he majored in parties and minored in math. Tom had uncanny success in basketball with his devious moves near the basket. He was without a doubt the friendliest guy whom I have ever met. He also often made Jack Benny look like a big spender.
Tom Garabedian3, a graduate of Bowdoin College in Maine, lived within walking distance of my apartment in East Hartford. Tom was a skillful ball handler and very quick. He was often asked to defend the opponent’s best scorer, even those who were six or more inches taller.
At some point in the summer we were joined by John Sigler, who was a year or two older than I was. He transferred to Life Actuarial from the Data Processing Department. John graduated from the University of South Carolina. His favorite sport was golf, and he was very good at it. We played golf together a lot. More details are provided here. His basketball game was about on a par with mine.
By the end of the summer the five of us knew each other pretty well. I had not worked with any of them but Tom C., Tom H., John, and I were on the twenty-first floor, and we usually ate lunch together. Tom G. worked in the Group Department, but we all knew him pretty well.
Tom Herget, who had quickly made friends with many people in both buildings, somehow learned that the Hartford was sponsoring a basketball league. He decided to put together a team. He recruited all five of us along with a handful of other guys. The ones that I remember were:
Kevin Kirk.
Kevin Kirk, the only non-actuary on the team, worked in the Individual Pensions Department. He was a point guard on his college team at Belmont Abbey, a small college in North Carolina.
Jan Pollnow was one of the very best players in the company. He went to the University of Wisconsin.
Fred Smith was a big strong guy who was a force under the boards.
Frank Lord was an actuarial student who had attended Dartmouth. His best sport was tennis.
Jim Cochran.
I am quite sure that there was at least one more player for our first game. I distinctly remember that we had ten players. Maybe Mike Winterfield played. In 1973-74 Jim Cochran, who came from Wisconsin, played as well.
I was 6’1″, 145 lbs. when I left the Army.
The games were old school—there was no three-point line. None of the teams had uniforms. However, we did have real refs, and they did not swallow their whistles. I was once called for a technical foul when I emoted the word “Geez” after an opposing player who was dribbling with his right hand karate chopped me with his left. On the other hand, several charging fouls were called on opposing players who sent me flying with incidental contact on drives to the basket. I wasn’t flopping. These guys were husky, and I was a reed with a high center of gravity.
I think that it was Tom H. who came up with the name “Mean Reserves”. It was a brilliantly wonky idea. He also supplied a few of us with “warmup jackets”, which were actually shirts evidently abandoned at the dry cleaners by an unidentified auto service place. Tom bought them for a buck or two. The other two Toms got one with “Rocco” embroidered over one pocket. Mine said “Neal”. Tom got one for himself as well, but it was anonymous. We wore them faithfully to the games. I am sure that our opponents were impressed.
The gym at Northwest Catholic.
The aptness of the team’s name was demonstrated in the first game, which, like all the others was played at Northwest Catholic High School in West Hartford. We played against five guys who were in their thirties or forties. We pressed the entire game, and we played two platoons who relieved each other every five or ten minutes. We had to lay off a bit in the second half. The opponents were so winded that they were nearly ready to quit (or maybe die).
We had pretty good teams both years. We won a lot more often than we lost. After each victory most of us would gather for pizza and beer at The Keg,4 a restaurant/bar on Sisson Avenue. We might have gone there when we lost, too. We did not need much of an excuse to keep the party going.
In both years the best team in the league was the one representing the company’s Mailroom. One of their guys was by far the best player in the league. He towered over everyone, and he could consistently hit jump shots from the top of the key. We put Garabedian on him, and that helped, but if he ever got the ball near his spot, the scorekeeper could just record two points without looking.
I remember once that we were scheduled to play the Mailroom, and with a minute or two left in the warmup time, only three of their guys had shown up. Just a few seconds before they would have had to forfeit, two or three more guys appeared and played the whole game in blue jeans.
I also remember that one guy from the Mailroom was not very tall and was quite portly. We figured him for the weak link, but we were wrong. Not only could he dribble and shoot, but he could really jump, and he was also in pretty good shape.
I think that I showed up for every game, but I was seldom much of a factor. I only have one other vivid memory. We were scheduled to play a good team from (I think) Operations Research. They had two really good players, a ball-handler whose name I don’t remember, and a scoring machine whose last name was Kolodziej.
We were shorthanded. Jan Pollnow and Fred Smith did not play. Tom Corcoran was pressed into playing center, and I played most of the game at one of the forwards. Tom said that we should play a zone defense and told me that my responsibility was to keep Kolodziej from going “back-door.” Seeing the blank expression on my face, he explained that when Kolodziej got the ball on my side to let him go and to stand next to the out-of-bounds line between him and the basket so that he could not drive past me under the basket. To drive to the basket he would need to go where the guards could help defend him. To my astonishment this strategy worked.
We all played our best game, and we proved that we could win without Jan. This was the only time in my life that I ever played more than half of an official basketball game that was won by my team. The beer and pizza tasted very good that night.
I do not have any paperwork or photos for the basketball games, and my memory is faulty. Sorry.
* * *
Fortunately, I have a treasure trove of information and photos for the softball teams. Sue Comparetto5 and I put together an album documenting the first two years of the Mean Reserves softball team. Here is the introduction to that tome.
Spring 1973 found the weekday residents of the twenty-first floor tired but restive after their first successful basketball season. A memorandum was circulated by the Men’s Club announcing the organization of a softball league for that summer. The whole floor responded with the usual enthusiasm to such memos, but basketball captain R. T. “Tom” Herget happened to read the memo before throwing it away, and, remembering his old mushball days in Illinois, he decided to try to organize an entry.
A typical reaction to Tom’s recruiting was Kevin Kirk’s “What?” Paul Gewirtz thought that a softball game was played with a Nerf ball and a hoop. Eventually, however, enough “players” responded to form an all-volunteer team!
The first thing that the team needed was a name. Tom remembered the stories that used to be passed around on LaSalle St.6 about the legendary T. V. “Mean” Reserve. Mean passed up a promising career as a relief pitcher for Eddie Feigner’s King and His Court softball team to pursue a lifelong ambition of correlating the five-step delivery with mortality among professional bowlers. “Just the thing to inspire the team to greatness”, thought Tom, but his suggestion that the team be known as the TV’s was rejected, and we were stuck with the same name as the basketball team’s—the Mean Reserves.
Bunting is common in fast-pitch softball.
Slow-pitch softball uses the standard ball that is twelve inches in circumference. Each team has ten players in the field. The extra player usually plays in the outfield. Pitches must be underhand with an arc of between three and ten feet. Bunting was not allowed. Leadoffs and stealing of bases were also verboten.
Everyone who played on the basketball teams also played softball. The following guys also joined us in 1973:
Jim Cochran, who also played on the basketball squad later in the year, led the team in hitting with a .538 average, in 1973.
Wayne Foster, who ran the payday pool, was the only Vietnam veteran (that I know of) on the twenty-first floor. he told me that he was awarded a Bronze Star for putting through an international phone call for the guy who maintained the list. He played first base.
Charley Robinson from the Special Risk Underwriting Department played in about half of the games.
Scott Otermat7, who went to Oberlin College and was my supervisor in the Individual Pensions Department, shared pitching duties with Frank Lord and me.
Ron Wittenwiler was a very good third baseman, but he only came to a couple. of games.
Les Gubkin also played in a couple of games. I remember him, but not where he worked.
Mike Swiecicki8 was a very athletic actuarial student, but he only played softball once or twice.
Paul Gewirtz bought his first baseball glove before showing up for one game. He played more in ’74. His defensive play was, well, noteworthy.
Paul Engstrom was a good enough fielder to play shortstop. He also was a bigger factor in ’74.
John Sigler hit .480 in 1973.
We did not actually win any games in 1973, but we made the playoffs anyway. We were eliminated in the first round.
Achievements: Tom Corcoran had eight RBI’s. Tom Garabedian scored eight runs. I led the team in hits and at-bats and was second in both runs and RBI’s.
In 1974 (the rebuilding year) even more people played:
Bob Riley was a Rock at first base
Don Sondergeld had only one official at-bat, but he appeared in quite a few of Sue’s photos.
Jim Hawke, often called “Hawkeye” in tribute to his thick glasses, held a masters degree in math from UConn. He also played a really hot ragtime piano. You have probably heard of his son Ethan, the famous actor.
Mike Wheeler played in several games, but I don’t remember him at all.
Lou Aiello only batted twice, but he got one hit and one RBI that no one will ever forget.
Jim Housholder only batted once.
Keith Reynolds was a fast runner who could cover a lot of ground in the outfield. He worked on another floor.
Paul Campbell, was hired as a Variable Annuity actuary in the middle of the season.
David Rowe was an exchange actuary from England. He had one hit in four at-bats. He might have done better, but he sometimes ran to third base when he hit the ball. We also had to keep reminding him not to carry the bat on the base paths.
Bob Riley was our rock at first base in ’74.
One of Tom C’s round-trippers.
Achievements: Tom Corcoran was again the star of the team with twenty-four hits, nineteen runs, twenty RBI’s, three triples, and four legitimate home runs. He also was our best outfielder. He actually gunned down a few overly ambitious base runners.
I led the team (and the league) in hitting with a .720 average. I also hit one comical home run.
Over the two years I had 33 hits in 54 at-bats. This was quite a change for the guy who only hit the ball once in his first entire season. How did I do it? Well, there were several important factors.
No, Tom H. is not left-handed. I included this photo to show my heavy aluminum bat. The street in the background is the one that aided my home run.
I had bought a very heavy aluminum bat, which I still have. No one else could stand to use it.
I stood at least two feet away from home plate and towards the front of the batter’s box. When the ball came over the plate it was outside and slightly behind me.
After I entered the batters box, look longingly toward left field and then point the bat in that direction. Often this charade would induce the right fielder and the short fielder to take several steps to their right.
The right fielder was usually the team’s second-worst fielder (after the catcher).
I concentrated on hitting the bottom center of the ball while stepping toward right field. This swing always imparted left-to-right (slice) spin to the ball.
Frank Lord’s 1-8 pitching record was the team’s best.
I only made seven outs in 1974. Three or four of them came in one frustrating game in which the opposing pitcher threw the ball with the back of his hand toward the plate. This put backspin on the pitches. My swing usually produced soft line drives between first and second. In that one game, however, I was able to hit nothing but ground balls and weak pop-ups.
I tried to emulate his technique in pitching practice, but I could not consistently throw strikes. I don’t think that I would ever be able to master it.
Memorable events: We won a game! I don’t remember which team we beat, but Frank Lord was the winning pitcher. We made the playoffs again. This time we lost by only 8-6 to the Staggers, the top-seeded team. It was easily our best game. The explanation is here.
Sue missed all of my 33 hits, but she did get this shot of me coaching 3rd base in street clothes.
Here is how I hit a triple and a home run. In both cases I hit soft line drives over the first baseman’s head. When the ball hit the ground it made a right turn because my swing always produced a slice. In the first case I was standing on third by the time that the ball made it to the infield. In the other case the ball made it to the street, which sloped rather sharply away from the infield. The ball actually was picking up speed when the right fielder picked it up. I was crossing the plate as the ball reached the first baseman.
No one who was present will ever forget Lou Aiello’s RBI single. Lou had not played a lot of baseball. His other at-bat for the Mean Reserves was a strikeout, which is almost unheard of in slow-pitch softball. It is important to note a few things that provide context for his successful plate appearance.
Many pitchers backed up three or four steps as soon as they released the ball.
Most teams put their worst defensive player at catcher.
Catchers never crowded the plate. They generally stood several feet back and fielded pitches on one bounce if they fielded them at all.
As I mentioned, both bunting and base-stealing were illegal.
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On his second at-bat Lou swung and missed a couple of times. The crowd shouted encouragement. Lou then connected, but just barely—the bottom of his bat grazed the top of the ball, causing it to roll to a stop a few feet in front of home plate. The Mean Reserve bench erupted with “Run, Lou, run!” The catcher was stupefied, and the pitcher was slow enough charging back in to get the ball that Lou had reached first base before the throw. Meanwhile, the Mean Reserve who had been on third scored easily because the catcher was still confused and made no move to defend home plate.
This episode goes down in the Mean Reserve annals as “Lou Aiello’s Swinging Bunt”.
Don Sondergeld had a nice swing, but he only had one official at-bat for the team
I had a close-up view of the other memorable occasion. I was playing first base, and Paul Gewirtz was playing second. Paul, who was left-handed, had never played baseball before. When he was purchasing his baseball glove he argued with the salesman who had told him that he wanted one for his right hand, which theretofore, had never done much useful for him. “You don’t want this big mitt on the hand that you throw with!”
So, yes, we occasionally had a left-handed second baseman. You won’t see one in the majors, but then again, the Mean Reserves did not turn many double plays. We put Paul at second base because the vast majority of infield balls are hit to the other side of the field.
In this game, however, someone hit a rather sharp grounder almost right at Paul. Instinct took over, and Paul reached down to catch the ball with his bare left hand rather than his gloved right hand. He did a good job of stopping the ball, and so I moved over to first base and positioned myself to catch his throw.
To everyone’s surprise Paul did not pick the ball up and throw it to me. Instead, leaving the ball in the base path, he turned and purposefully jogged into right field. I hurried over to get the ball. I barely beat the pitcher and shortstop there, and I reached for the ball. Meanwhile, the hitter had rounded first and run past the three of us. When I picked up the ball, there were no Mean Reserves near second base. So, the hitter got a really cheap double.
This did NOT happen.
When we finally retired the side, I grabbed a beer from the cooler and then took Paul aside to ask him why he had run out to right field after he stopped the ball. He explained that he thought that the ball had
knocked his thumb off
, and he went out to retrieve it.
I swear on George Brett’s pine-tar bat that this is a true story.
1. Tom Corcoran married Patti Lewonczyk from the Individual Pensions Department. He still has a house in Wethersfield, CT, but he also has an apartment in Burlington, VT, where both of his children, Brian and Casey, and their families reside.
2. In 2021 Tom Herget and his wife live in his home town of Aurora, IL. He sends me a Christmas card every December.
3. In 2021 Tom Garabedian is living in the Boston are.
4. The family that owned The Keg moved the operation to Farmington in 2002. The Hartford Courant covered that event here. The building at 99 Sisson Avenue is now a Wood N Tap restaurant.
5. Much more information about Sue can be found here.
6. The headquarters of the Society of Actuaries was on LaSalle St. in Chicago. It subsequently moved to the suburb of Schaumburg.
7. Scott Otermat left the Hartford in 1980. He died in 2016. His obituary is here.
8. Mike Swiecicki left the Hartford before I did. He died in 2015 after a twenty-five year career as an actuary with CAL PERS. His obituary is here.
