1962-1966 Miscellaneous Part 2: Outside of School

Other events Continue reading

From the front the house looks pretty much the same as in 1962.
From the front 8800 Fairway looks pretty much the same as in 1962, but two bedrooms and a bathroom were added to the back. My parents paid $35,000 in 1962. It is now worth $894,000.

We moved from Prairie Village to Leawood at some point during the summer of 1962. This allowed me to walk to and from Rockhurst High School. My sister Jamie went to first grade at Curé of Ars1 school, a brand new parish and school that was about 1.3 miles southwest of our house.

Boy Scouts: I was still in my original troop (#295) during the summer of 1962. I went to Camp Nash with that troop during the summer. By the end of the summer I needed only one merit badge to attain the rank of eagle.

I learned from the weekly bulletin at church that a new troop would be forming at Curé of Ars, #395. I signed up as one of the founding members. Most of the fathers running the new troop were former members of St. Ann’s parish in Prairie Village.

Eagle

One scout in particular, Rob Runnels, was very disappointed to learn that he would not be the first eagle scout in the new troop. He was at least a year behind me.

I finished the requirements at some point in my freshman year. I needed only to go before a Board of Review of three officials from other troops. I don’t know why, but they did not like my attitude. They dressed me down for being, I guess, too flippant. Eventually they approved me after I promised to help someone else achieve the rank. Many guys quit immediately after becoming eagles, but that was never my intention.

I went to Camp Nash in 1963 with Troop 395. I was either Senior Patrol Leader or Junior Assistant Scoutmaster. Rob was the other one.

The neighborhood: Our new house was (and still is) in a very nice neighborhood. All the bedrooms were a little larger than those of our previous dwelling, and we also had a family room, a dining room, a fireplace, a double garage, a basement, a patio, central air conditioning, a patio, and a huge backyard. Oh, yes, it also had an attic fan that my dad insisted on running instead of the air conditioner all night all summer.

My sister quickly made friends with a girl her age name Trudy Shirley, who lived a block south of us. For some reason when Fairway crossed 89th St., the name of the road changed to Meadow Lane, which is the street that Trudy lived on.

Two boys who were one year my junior lived on Fairway. Sal Dasta was, I think, the nephew of Vincent Dasta, who had a construction company in KC and donated a lot of money to Rockhurst High School. He donated so much money that the football stadium was named after him.

Sal did not go to Rockkhurst. He went to Bishop Miege, the same school that my sister attended seven years later. The Dasta family moved at some point while I was in high school. I never spent much time with Sal.

The Cipollas lived in the house on the far right. They also owned the lot that now has a big house with large trees on it.
The Cipollas lived in the house on the far right. They also owned the lot that now has a big house with large trees on it.

I spent a lot of time at John Cipolla’s house for all four years that I was in high school. His parents owned the house on the east side of the street on the corner of 89th St. They also owned the vacant lot next door. They had a daughter who was a year or two older (and a decade or two more mature) than I was. Everyone called her Sugar; I don’t know if that was her name or a term of endearment. Here are some of the reasons that I spent a lot of time at John’s house, and he spent virtually none at mine:

  • A regulation basketball goal on a large driveway with a powerful set of spotlights.
  • A swimming pool.
  • An entire vacant lot large enough to play touch football or softball on. It included a backstop.
  • High-quality balls of all kinds.
  • An arcade-quality pinball machine.
  • A set of weights and barbells.
  • Tumbling mats.
Like this, but more room.
Like this, but more room.
  • A 9′ perfectly balanced pool table with leather pockets, overhead lighting, a set of excellent cues, and enough room on all sides. It supposedly came from a pool hall.
  • A half bath in the basement with a sign that said “We don’t swim in your toilet; please don’t pee in our pool.”
  • A sister with huge gazoingies, but she was seldom around.
  • A subscription to Playboy. I might have forgotten to mention this one to my parents.

There was also a beautiful set of golf clubs in the garage. They were there the first time that I visited him, and they had not moved a millimeter by my last visit.

John was adopted (and he knew it), but his parents treated him like the Dauphin. He had had polio as a child, but it did not affect him much when I knew him. He was not a great athlete, but he was OK at pretty much everything except sprinting. His parents had put in the swimming pool to help his therapy, and he was a good swimmer.

John's was very similar to the one featured her.
John’s was very similar to the one featured here. He did not play by sense of smell, but he was unbeatable.

Guys were always gathered at the Cipolla house. In bad weather we usually shot pool or played pinball. John was quite good at both of these activities. A guy whose last name was Joyce lived on 89th St. He was the first non-adult I had met who smoked. He was a pretty good shot at pool, almost as good as John. I was not nearly as accurate as they were, but I taught myself how to control the cue ball. I was competitive in everything except nine-ball, and I was quite good at a game that we called “table billiards” that was played with a cue ball and three colored balls.

One of my proudest moments was when some guys whom John knew from school showed up to play touch football. I was one of the last guys chosen, but I scored several touchdowns because I was much better than I looked. As usual, no one guarded me when I went out for a pass.

John and I occasionally went to the mall together. I remember that once he deliberately cut himself on the hand. He then walked into the Christian Science Reading Room and asked the lady at the desk for some MercuroChrome. I don’t know what she said, but he was giggling when he returned.

On another occasion we were going up an escalator together. On his left was another escalator going downlike an X. At the crossing point he reached over to a unsuspecting lady on the down escalator and mussed up her hair. I could not believe he did that. I don’t deny that I probably laughed. There was not much she could do.

John’s dad’s name was Frank “Chips” Cipolla. The family pronounced the last name sih POE lah.I later learned that cipolla means onion in Italian, and it is pronounced chee POE lah. Chips owned Monarch Electric Co. My dad told me that his business was sketchy. Actually, he did not use the word “sketchy”, but I don’t want a severed horse’s head to appear in my bed.

While I was away at college I learned that John had put a loaded shotgun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. I had never seen that shotgun. I wonder what other goodies he had that I never learned about.

During the last year or two of high school another guy my age moved in next door. He went to the other major prep school in the KC area, Pembroke Country Day. Their students were called the Daisies by guys at Rockhurst. I don’t remember the fellow’s name, but he was allergic to grass, and so he stayed inside almost all the time. He was an avid chess player, and he subscribed to chess magazines. Whenever I was around he cajoled me into playing chess with him. He was not very good. Any of the guys in Rockhurst’s chess club would have destroyed him.

DA

Music: I began to become interested in popular music around the eighth grade. By the time that the Beatles arrived in 1964 I had become somewhat obsessed. Like most of my classmates, I listened to Don Armstrong (“DA the DJ”) on WHB nearly every evening.

Unlike my classmates I created my own list, which I called WAVE’s Prime 29, every week. I typed it out and saved them all for years. It was good typing practice, and it paid off any time anyone played “Name it and claim it” and a few decades later when Trivial Pursuit became the rage.

61

At some point my parents bought me a pool table for Christmas. It was not in the same league as John Cipolla’s. It was only a six-footer, and the top was warped in one corner. Nevertheless, I spent a lot of time in the basement shooting pool and listening to my records. I must have listened to Highway 61 Revisited at least one hundred times.

I listened to some of my mother’s records, too. I liked the French music and the Russian music, but I had no use for her Broadway show tunes. My dad, by the way, had no records. He was tone deaf. The only music he liked was monks chanting.


Sports: I followed all sports. My favorite was football, but it was obvious that my two touchdowns in the eighth grade would probably be the apex of my football career. My parents bought me a backboard and basketball hoop. My granddad helped mount it on the roof over the garage. It wasn’t quite high enough, and the rim broke fairly soon. So, practicing on it was probably counterproductive.

Hogan

I spent a lot of time in the backyard trying to improve my golf swing. my dad had a copy of Ben Hogan’s book, and I modeled my swing on his. I did not follow his advice on the waggle, which had fallen out of fashion since he retired. I still have the book fifty-five years later.

I never got to be very good at golf. My swing was pretty good, but with my puny build I had to swing very hard to get reasonable distance. Moreover, my pitching and putting were not reliable, to say the least. My vision was not the best either. I had trouble keeping track of the flight of the ball, and, of course, I was very bad at finding it in the rough.

For a handful of years I spent a week during the summer at my uncle’s house in Kelly, KS. Those adventures, including some golf outings on a rather unique course, are described in Part 3.

Cass_Lake_Map

Vacations: My dad liked to spend his allotted vacation time in, of all places, Cass Lake, MN. I am not sure why. We went there three or four times, and we always stayed in a cabin at the same place. The name of the place was Journey’s End or something like that. We had access to the lake, but we seldom used it. We rented a boat a couple of times, but my dad was not a fisherman, and he did not know how to swim.

Maybe the idea was to escape the heat of Kansas City. My recollection is that the weather was quite good on these trips. Nevertheless, I remember that in Iowa we once stayed in a motel that did not have air conditioning. The manager brought a tiny fan into the room. It did not help. The heat did not bother me; it seldom does. However, the rest of the family suffered.

Instead of water sports my dad and I played golf almost every day. The local course had sand greens like the one in Seneca, KS, that we played on when we visited Fr. Joe in Kelly. We played there a few times, but mostly we drove to other places in the area that had traditional courses.

Perhaps I should mention that my dad was not a good golfer. For one thing he was left handed, but he played golf right-handed, the opposite of Phil Mickelson. He had no power, and his ball always sliced. He was not a bit scientific. It annoyed me when he asked me what he was doing wrong. I wanted to say, “Well, your grip keeps you from snapping your wrist properly. Your stance prevents you from twisting your hips, and you always swing outside-in. You should fix all of those things first.” Instead, I just mumbled “I don’t know.”

His short game was much better than mine, however. So, we kept on playing for years. I don’t know if he enjoyed it. I enjoyed being on a golf course, but I usually ended the round in a bad mood.

Wall_Drug

Usually we drove up through the center of Iowa to Minnesota, but once we must have taken the western route through Nebraska and South Dakota. At my insistence we stopped at Wall Drug, the biggest tourist trap ever. I wonder what Wall Drug would have done if someone asked a clerk where they kept the aspirin.

Rushmore

We stayed overnight in Rapid City, which I thought was a pretty nice place, mostly because I found a radio station that played rock and roll music. The next day we went to Mount Rushmore. I think that we then drove up to North Dakota before we turned east to my dad’s favorite spot.

Bunyan

More than once we also drove up to Bemidji, where Jamie and I gaped at the huge statues of Paul Bunyan and Babe the blue ox and the singularly unimpressive source of the Mississippi River. Bemidji also had a rather nice golf course.

For the life of me I cannot remember what else Jamie did on these trips.

They take education seriously in the Shawnee Mission school district.
They take education seriously in the Shawnee Mission school district.

Driving: During the summer of 1964 I took the drivers’ education course at Shawnee Mission East High School.2 I walked to the classes. It was the first time since kindergarten that I attended a public school. The rest of the students all knew one another.

At least one of the instructors was a (football, I think) coach at SME. On our first practice drive I was in a car with him and two girls. One of the girls went first. After driving very slowly and carefully for five or ten minutes she came to an abandoned railroad track and proceeded to cross it. The instructor was in the passenger’s seat in front with the window rolled down and his arm hanging out. As we crossed the track he smashed his fist down on the top of the car and announced “We just got hit by a train.”

The girl driving the car was paralyzed with terror. The other girl had to take over the driving while we were still on the track.

I passed the driving test without too much difficulty, and I received the highest score on the written test. It was fun to listen to the other students asking one another who was Wuh-VAH-duh.

I got my driver’s license on my sixteenth birthday. That fall I had a very minor accident in the parking lot of my dentist’s office. I did not do the right thing, and, for the first time in my life I could have (probably should have) gotten in a lot of trouble. However, by that time I had attended mass a truly incredible number of times and I had amassed a large number of prayers and indulgences. My guardian angel looked after me.

Goren

Amusements: At some point I learned how to play bridge. I don’t think that they taught me. Who would have been the fourth? I think that I must have read Charles Goren’s book on bridge that was on the bookshelf in the living room. Then I must have played with three of my high school friends a few time, although I have no memory of the specifics. It would be easy to get a foursome at Dan Waters’ house, and I went there several times.

I remember that once John Williams and I went to Worlds of Fun to hear the Shadows of Knight, the group that scored with Gloria. They were awful.

Mouse

I went to a few movies with other guys from school. The school showed The Mouse that Roared, which was pretty good. I was very impressed by Peter Sellers, and the board game Diplomacy that the diplomats played in Grand Fenwick intrigued me. I discovered that there was a real Diplomacy game and brought it with me to Ann Arbor.

Slim

Twice I went to movies by myself. On the yearly Jesuit holiday one year I walked up to the Ward Parkway Mall to watch West Side Story. That was weird; I was the only person in the theater. The other occasion was to see Dr. Strangelove, my favorite move of all time. For some reason I could not persuade anyone to go with me.

The most memorable time of all of these years was when a bunch of us went to the American Royal auditorium in KC KS to see the greatest wrestling card in the recent history of KC. A few preliminary matches (one with midgets!) preceded the two headliners.

Bob Geigle and Bob Brown
Bob Geigle and Bob Brown

In the second-to-last match the North American Tag-Team Champions Bob Geigel and Bob Brown (two local wrestlers) against Dick the Bruiser, the heel of all heels, and Cowboy Bob Ellis, the all-American good guy complete with white cowboy hat. Heels never paired up with pretty boys, and Geigel and Brown always cheated. So, for one night Dick the Bruiser became the world’s ugliest pretty boy. This may have been the only time ever that the Bruiser and the Cowboy teamed up.

Bruiser_Ellis

Since it was a title match, it was best two falls out of three. The NATTC was a local belt, and so Geigel and Brown had to win the third fall, which they did through some illegal tactic that I don’t remember. They couldn’t let this belt leave the KC area unless Bruiser and Ellis were scheduled to return soon, which was highly unlikely.

What I vividly remember was that during the second fall Bruiser was lying helpless on his back with his head lifted a few inches off the mat. Brown went over to him and tried to push the head down with one foot. It did not budge. ThenI swear this actually happened!Brown stood on his forehead for a few seconds while Bruiser used his massive shoulder muscles to keep his head off the canvas. Then, of course, Cowboy Bob came to the rescue.

Kiniski

The final match between WWA World Champion Gene Kiniski and local hero the Mongolian stomper was easily the best wrestling match I have ever scene. Kiniski wiped the floor with the Stomper in the first fall. The second fall started the same way, but then the support of the local crowd revived the Stomper, and he pinned the champ. Nobody got too excited. Everyone knew that each guy would

Stomper

In the third fall the Stomper again overcame early difficulties to gain control. He had Kiniski in an airplane spin, which was the prelude to his finishing moves. The crowd got very excited, but somehow Kiniski’s boot hooked on the top rope causing the Stomper to fall on his back, and Kiniski landed right across his shoulders.

It was the most beautifully choreographed maneuver that I ever saw. 1-2-3 the match was over. Kiniski won, and the crowd was in an uproar.

Food: My mother was a great cook. Her meals were nutritious and delicious. We had my favorite, fried chicken, nearly every week. Dessert was not always provided, but sometimes my mother would bake apple or cherry pies that were to die for. I also admit to consuming a substantial amount of potato chips and cokes.

We seldom went to restaurants. Instead, my dad decided that we would enjoy steak dinners every Saturday nights. If the weather was decent, he would grill them, and I certainly cannot complain about the results.

My parents really provided a wonderful environment for my sister and me. It met or exceeded the lifestyle of wholesome suburban kids on TV.


Vianney

1. The curé of Ars is better known as St. John Vianney. Curé just means “parish priest”. It always struck me as very strange that whoever came up with the name of the parish in Kansas used the French word for priest but the English word “of”. The Catholic Encyclopedia says that during the last ten years of his life (which ended in 1859) he heard confessions for sixteen to eighteen hours per day. I doubt that many of the twenty thousand who flocked to Ars every year were dancers. J.V. refused absolution to all who engaged in “paganic dancing.”

2. There is a town named Shawnee and a town named Mission. Shawnee Mission is the name of the postal district and educational district that includes those towns, Overland Park, Prairie Village, Leawood, and others. As of 2018 27,648 students attended classes at the district’s five high schools, five middle schools, thirty-four elementary schools, and six instructional centers. Over 400,000 people now live in the district, more than in Wichita, the largest city in Kansas.

1962-1966 Miscellaneous Part 3: Kelly, KS

Kelly, KS, the cultural center of Nemaha County. Continue reading

It was a long haul from our house (lower right) to Kelly, KS.

It was a long haul from our house (lower right) to Kelly, KS.

My dad’s brother, Rev. Vincent Wavada, OSB (known to us as Fr. Joe),1 was a very interesting person. I first met him when I was in grade school. At the time he was living in Burlington, IA. I am not sure if Burlington was our destination or we were stopping there on a trip to somewhere else. He was a Benedictine monk. Maybe he was living in a monastery there. Since he had a masters degree in economics from the University of Chicago, maybe he was teaching. I don’t know, and I can think of no way of researching this.

During one of my visits there the inside of this stunning church was refurbished.

During one of my visits there the inside of this stunning church was refurbished.

At some point Fr. Joe was transferred by the abbot to St. Bede’s parish in Kelly, KS. He was certainly there in 1961; he might have arrived a little earlier. St. Bede’s church is by far the most prominent building in Kelly, which in my day was the home of a few hundred German Catholics and one Wavada. Next to the church was the rectory. Behind the rectory were pens for his two hunting dogs, Hans, a German shorthaired pointer, and Mimi, a Brittany Spaniel.

The rectory had two or three bedrooms upstairs. Fr. Joe slept in one, and I stayed in the guest bedroom. Downstairs was a kitchen, a dining room, and an office. His housekeeper for decades was Mrs. Kohake.2

All the roads in Kelly were dirt or gravel. When you encountered another car on a road, you were expected to wave to them, even if you did not know them. The roads were also straight. There is no reason to put a curve in a road in this part of Kansas. The roads ran north-south or east-west.

KellyDowntown Kelly was just a couple of blocks from the church and rectory, but people in Kelly did not use the word “blocks”. I have marked out the downtown area in blue. The only building that I ever went into was the Post Office, which was on the northwest corner. It was also a general store and maybe a gas station. When I was there the largest building across the street was a feed and seed store. There might have been a bank of sorts when I first started going to Kelly. I don’t know what the other buildings were.

When I was there, Kelly had a grade school and a high school, but I am pretty sure that both of them have been closed for quite a few years.

As you may have guessed, just about everyone in Kelly aside from my uncle, the postmistress, and the guy who ran the feed store, was a farmer. The Post office was in operation for a century, but it closed in 1988. Also, just about everyone in Kelly aside from my uncle was German.

My dad, Fr. Joe, and I would often play golf together, usually at the closest course in Seneca. It was quite an experience. There were only nine holes, and there was no clubhouse. Near the first tee was a metal box in which you were supposed to insert your green fees. Right in the middle of the course was an air strip that was marked with out-of bounds stakes. I seem to remember a plane landing there at least once. After landing the occupants of the plane left it on the side of the air strip and walked away. There was nothing resembling an airport.

Sand_greenThe most striking feature of the course was the fact that it had perfectly flat sand greens. They were quite small, perhaps 30-50% of the size usually associated with greens. The sand was not deep, and it was oiled. It was nothing like being in a sand trap. Each green was equipped with a rake and a roller. When you got your ball on the green, you used the roller to smooth out the sand from the hole to where your ball was. You then putted on the smoothed-out surface.

It was no more difficult to judge the speed of putts than on a flat grass surface and much easier than on a hilly grass surface. Moreover, this being Kansas, you did not really need to worry much about the putt breaking one way or the other. Three-putting was almost unheard of.

It was, however, quite difficult to make an iron shot stop on the green. There was no “bite”. You had to leave the shot short and hope that the ball bounced or rolled onto the green and then ran out of steam.

The course had no watering system, and in late summer it was similar to playing on asphalt with patches here and there of grass and weeds. Nevertheless, I enjoyed playing here immensely. A few times Fr. Joe and I played during my annual stay. He always had a better score than I did, and that bothered me. I took the game much too seriously.

When Fr. Joe moved to Kelly, he was an avid hunter. However, he soon traded in his rifle or shotgun for a camera. He would take his dogs out to scare up pheasants or quail. I wasn’t even slightly interested in this activity, but I did learn to make a respectable quail call, which sounds like “Bob White”.

We did go fishing together, at least one evening per week. I had my own fishing rod and some lures. Fr. Joe used his fly rod if we were fishing in a farmer’s pond, or a regular rod if we went to the small lake that was nearby. I used to drive him crazy because I could not stop myself from calculating the percentage of bites that we got per cast and the percentage of fish we caught per nibble. We did catch a few. I am pretty sure that I caught at least one. My recollection is that our most common victims were crappie and bluegill. We usually threw the crappies back.

Being an early riser, I usually was up and about a little before Fr. Joe. Once or twice I saw him shave. He used a straight razor, which he kept sharp with a leather strop. I thought that that was really cool.

VVDuring the day Fr. Joe was often busy with church stuff. I would watch TV, the antenna of which was capable of receiving two channels, #2 from St. Joseph, MO, and #13 from Topeka, KS. I remember watching lots of game shows. My favorite was Video Village. I also watched the wrestling shows from St. Joe on Saturday morning. This was a particular treat that I could not enjoy at home.

I had no trouble keeping myself occupied. I often pitched golf balls in the side yard. No one cared if I replaced my divots. I would occasionally go for fairly long walks. It was not exactly scenic, but every so often something would catch my attention.

Fr. Joe was an accomplished artist. Unfortunately, at the time I had not the slightest interest in the subject. When he came to visit us, Fr. Joe, my mom, and I would sometimes go to the Nelson Gallery of Art. I can’t say that these were my favorite times.

DamThe three of us also went to a few movies. One was Dr. Zhivago. I complained about the scene at the end, where they are standing on a dam and talking about progress. He explained why this device was necessary from a literary perspective, but I didn’t buy it. The actual dam, by the way, is on the border of Spain and Portugal!

What I did enjoy was talking about books. Fr. Joe had read essentially everything worth reading. At the time I was most entertained by murder mysteries, but I had an open mind. When he came to KC, we always went to at least one bookstore. I think that the thing that he liked the least about living in Kelly was that there were no decent bookstores anywhere in the area. He had probably read more books than the rest of Kelly combined.

I also went to church, at least on Sundays. I was startled by the fact that Fr. Joe was a terrible preacher. I don’t know if he just hated the idea of preaching to people, or if he had never had any training in public speaking. There was no emotion whatever in his presentation, and his delivery was full of verbal stops. This actually shocked me, because 1) my dad was a prize-winning speaker, and 2) until this point it seemed reasonable to conclude that Fr. Joe was good at everything.

Bank_DickFr. Joe introduced me to the comedy of the Marx Brothers and W.C. Fields. I have watched all of their films, and many of them I have watched multiple times. I have performed Fields’s “You’ve got to take a chance when you’re young” routine from The Bank Dick countless times at the bridge table. It always breaks people up.

One thing that I did not do is listen to music. I did not bring any of my records, and I was not crazy about Fr. Joe’s. I also left my transistor radio at home. There was no hope of picking up a station that played Top 40 songs.

My sister Jamie worshiped Father Joe. For some reason they called each other “Stink”. After I graduated from college and left for the army, she started spending time in the summers in Kelly, as I had. I am not sure how she spent her time there. I seldom saw her until she moved to New England many years later.


Fr_Joe1. Fr. Joe died in 1990. His obituary is here.

Mrs_Kohake2. Mrs. Kohake died in 2007. Her obituary is here.

1970 June-October 5 in Leawood

Home waiting to be drafted. Continue reading

Airport300I flew home to KC. In those days the airlines had student-standby rates that were very affordable. My parents picked me up at the Municipal Airport, which is right across the river from the downtown area. Landing from the west was a terrifying exercise in dodging skyscrapers, but it was actually more dangerous to land from the east. If you overran the runway even a little, you might end up in the Missouri River. All my records and my AR speakers also made it home, but I don’t remember how.

I had nothing scheduled for the entire summer. My parents lined up one task for mepainting our house. I planned to just hang around until I got drafted, and I also hoped to play a lot of golf. I also watched the mailbox closely.

My report card for my last semester at U-M (the first time) arrived shortly after I did: I got an A (speech self-study), a B (Russian lit), a C (anthropology0, and a D (linguistics). I was greatly relieved not to see any E’s or I’s (incomplete). Michigan issued E’s where everyone else issued F’s. So, as expected, my very first semester’s average was my best, and my last semester’s was my worst. But it was good enough.

DiplomaMy diploma arrived a few days later. I finally got a chance to look at my transcript a couple of years later when I applied for jobs. Nothing on it indicated that my excess hours in math would have affected my graduation. Maybe I could have dropped the Russian and linguistics classes and still graduated. I needed to enroll in four courses to be a full-time student, a requirement for intercollegiate debate, but nothing prevented withdrawals. Of course then I would have had to explain to the parental units why they had to pay for four courses when I only really took two. That might not have been too pleasant. I think that it all worked out for the best.

I wondered to myself how in the world I managed to get a B in that Russian lit class. Clearly those papers that I saw people turning in must have been voluntary and clearly not much attention was paid to attendance at the recitation sections that I completely avoided. I must have also aced both tests.

DThere was one other possibility. Perhaps the professor was both a caligrapher and a Detroit Tigers fan. Maybe he really gave me a D, but it was misinterpreted as a B.

I also received an envelope from the Society of Actuaries with my test results. I was astonished to see that I scored a 6, which was the lowest passing score. I somehow passed the probability and statistics test without answering a single statistics question!

I received nothing from the Selective Service in June, July, or August.

As a freeloader I could hardly complain about painting the house or any other mundane choremowing the lawn, trimming bushes, weeding the roses, etc. that I was asked to do. I probably grumbled to myself while I was doing them.

My dad’s company provided him with a membership in the Blue Hills Country Club, well to the south of us and on the Missouri side. Dad was a VP in the sales department and was expected to entertain agents and other business associated. The club had a swimming pool and a golf course, but the only feature that interested me was the golf course, which I was allowed to play on for free. I took advantage of that feature as often as I could. I sometimes played with my dad on weekends and with my mother on weekdays. A few times my dad took a day off, and all three of us played.

Occasionally I played by myself. I was very careful not to impede or hurry anyone. I was a courteous guest.

Summers in KC are hot. On one such day I was playing by myself, as always carrying my clubs. I finished the front nine with an indifferent score and bought a coke. I then walked over to the tenth tee, from which point almost the entire back nine was visible. I was surprised to discover that no one at all seemed to be playing. This was puzzling. There was no indication of a special event.

With the course to myself I played three balls. This was strictly prohibited, but if I saw anyone approaching I would just stop doing it. I certainly would not be holding anyone up. Even playing three balls, I could play faster than any twosome in a cart.

I finished the round and walked past the clubhouse and the putting green. The assistant pro, Rick, was doing some maintenance on the putting green. I called to him and asked where everyone was. He said, “Are you kidding? It’s 106° out here.”

I honestly had not really noticed. In those days I had almost infinite tolerance for heat. I almost never wore shorts.

DylanMy sister Jamie had just finished the eighth grade. She was a lot more socially active than I ever was. She could also play the guitar. She had a book of Bob Dylan songs, and I could do a passable imitation of the Nobel Prize winner. When I sang in my own voice I always went off-key at the break, but I could pull off the songs in her book pretty well using my Dylan voice. I remember “The Times They are a-Changing” and ‘Mr. Tambourine Man” in particular.

Greeting250The letter from selective service came in September. It did not begin with “Greetings,” as was commonly reported, but with “Greeting:”. I had to report for my induction physical at a building in downtown Kansas City on Monday, October 5, a day that will live in infamy. My mother drove and dropped me off. I did not see her again for eight weeks.

The exam was a complete joke. There were a few dozen of us. About 30 percent of the guys were carrying briefcases or satchels with documentation of some real or imagined ailment. All (or at least nearly all) of these people were declared 4-F. I suspect that fifty years later not many people realize how widespread this practice was. More than a few doctors were willing to attest to very questionable ailments like bone spurs.

The rest of us passed. Some people found out that they were color blind. Other than that, the doctors (or whatever they were) basically counted our limbs and stamped us Grade A if we were not missing any.

A common misconception was that they rejected men with flat feet. If I had amputated my toes (some people did!), mine would have resembled Donald’s or Daffy’s. Here is how the foot examination went: We all lined up facing away from the doctor. He called out “Raise your left foot; right foot; thank you.” The pause for the semicolons was no more than two seconds. Many guys never even got their left foot raised.

Alices_RestArlo Guthrie and the movie Stripes claim that they asked about ever being arrested. If so, I don’t remember that.

They measured me at 6’1″, 145 pounds. I told you that I was skinny.

There were maybe twenty or thirty of us. I expected to be taken to the nearest training location, Fort Leonard Wood, about 200 miles from KC. Instead they flew us to Fort Polk, LA, which was 680 miles away. The base had an airfield, which was where we landed.

I remember that one guy announced that he wanted to be a butcher. He thought that this would be a good way to avoid going to Vietnam. The sergeant who was escorting us advised him that that would be terrible duty, and he should try for something else.

Heretofore I had led a quite comfortable existence that was rather easy to comprehend. The next eighteen months and five days would unquestionably be the most bizarre of my life.